[X&Y] Feeling Overwhelmed When It Comes To Getting Better With Women? Read This...
Published: Wed, 10/06/10
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get it all down? Rest assured you're not alone...and believe me,
there's good news.
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I haven't shared much with you from my main man Stephen Nash
recently, so it's about time. After all, he and I think a lot
alike about women and relationships.
Now at one time Stephen was into the whole pickup artist thing,
even living at Project Hollywood with the likes of Mystery and Neil
Strauss.
But he soon realized that having a high quality woman in his life
was where it's at, and his teaching has reflected that for several
years now.
And that teaching is SOLID stuff. So when Stephen told me he has a
new video for you guys to watch that shows you how to absolutely
SLAM DUNK your first impression with a woman, I knew I had to pass
it along to you:
I think you'll find out very quickly why Stephen's shop is called
"Cutting Edge Image Consulting". The video speaks for itself.
Go ahead and log-in to Stephen's page and enjoy this video...I think
you'll find some of what's in it a bit surprising:
And now, let's hear from Kevin in Northern Ireland...
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Hello Scot:
I think your initial ideas on seeing the woman's point of view have
a lot of potential for opening up positive beliefs. You talked
Still, I have several sticking points.
The first is confusion. When what sounds like good advice on a web
page for a certain product doesn't immediately translate in the
real world, I start thinking "I will never get this".
This often leads to having a hard time trusting in the method. In
other words, I have a hard time getting to the point where I think
my approach has a chance of success. I feel like I'd just rather
skip the painful trial and error.
Both of the above probably aren't helped by my deep fears around
publicly approaching hot women. Some positive thinking tips just
don't seem to stop my body from going into a visible freeze up.
What do you think?
Kevin (Northern Ireland)
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Hello Kevin:
I hear you man. It sounds like you're experiencing a classic case
of "overwhelm".
It's easy to feel that way when confronted with what seems like A
LOT to learn...all at once.
But I want to reassure you first by letting you know that you most
certainly do not have to pressure yourself into getting everything
down by tomorrow morning.
of this on the first try.
There's indeed A LOT of great content there, every bit of which
will make you better and better with women over time.
It doesn't have to be viewed as "painful trial and error". Nor
does it even have to LOOK like it.
The good news is that means that every single bit of what you
learn--from the first day onward--will be helping you get better with
women today than you were yesterday.
As such, you'll see results almost immediately, even if you'll be
seeing even more of the full benefits in a few weeks or months.
Even if you really do "freeze up" around beautiful women today,
you'll be able to feel yourself moving in the right direction.
You know, it's not only okay to "pace yourself" a bit, it's
actually a GOOD THING to do so.
One of the joys of this life is that the journey is often as much
fun as getting to the destination...as long as we allow it to be.
I know for me, I look back at the three years or so I spent getting
better and better with women to the point where I felt I had
"raised the bar" as high as it could go and consider them some of
the greatest years of my life.
I hadn't met Emily yet, but every little increase in success along
the way was a total thrill. Had I woken up the day after I had
I realize that we all THINK we would love to meet the greatest
woman we ever met today, but when you have the mindset that the
JOURNEY itself is going to be a total blast you can really free
yourself up from a world of pressure.
Think about it...once you see the VERY FIRST thing you learned in The
Man's Approach actually work for you in the real world, it's going
to be a TOTAL RUSH. That'll motivate you to learn the next thing.
Now, I fully realize that our modern world is one where "immediate
gratification" is prized highly. Most of the products you see
advertised in the world of men's dating and seduction advice are
promising things like this:
And to be truthful, a lot of guys buy into that sort of promise
even if they're really looking for a high quality woman to "live
the dream" with.
Well, make no mistake about it. "Deserve What You Want" is the
concept that X & Y Communications was built on, and that's why I'm
not only unashamed to actually PRINT your letter, Kevin, but am
responding honestly to it as well.
Nope. You'll likely not be able to assimilate EVERYTHING right now
and have it all firing on all cylinders for you by dinnertime.
I'll never promise you that.
BUT...that said, here's the thing: I certainly don't want you to get
intimidated by the wealth of information to be gleaned in The Man's
Approach and simply throw in the towel.
Not only will you see SOME results quickly, it probably won't take
you NEARLY as long to get the FULL BENEFIT as you think.
The best news of all is that if you can stick with the program
early on--even while you're feeling that sensation of
"overwhelm"--you'll quickly figure out that the pieces are starting
to come together faster than you thought.
"Overwhelm" will gradually morph into "confidence".
Let me tell you, it's like this for most areas of life that involve
gaining competence over time.
In fact, just last week I embarked on a new adventure in learning
myself, and at the moment I'm feeling A LOT like you are about
getting better with women.
For ages I've been fascinated by airplanes and flight, so I decided
I'd like to get my pilot's license. And let me tell you, just
having read up on the process before me alone was intimidating.
Well, last Tuesday was my first lesson, and the crazy instructor
actually let me do EVERYTHING on the first day.
We're talking pre-flight check, communication with the tower,
sitting at the controls during taking off, flying the airplane to
the next airport and even LANDING the thing (at a major
international airport, no less).
I came away from the experience TOTALLY OVERWHELMED.
Being at the controls of a friggin' flying machine while having to
concentrate on what the tower is saying, where the altimeter is,
what heading we're on and what the heck "trimming the nose" means
was just WAY TOO MUCH for a newbie like me to process at once.
Now no doubt, the instructor walked me through everything and was
there to fill in the gaps where needed.
But make no mistake, when I answered the preliminary question about
how much I'd like to be involved with during the first lesson with
"EVERYTHING possible!" I had bitten off WAY more than I could chew.
Although it was crazy to consider that I'd have to be able to
juggle all of those tasks at once someday--and more--in order to earn
a pilot's license, I was as completely STOKED as I was overwhelmed.
Sure, at first there's SO MUCH to think about when flying a plane
and when faced with doing it ALL AT THE SAME TIME it's easy to come
away thinking I'd probably never get it all down.
But at the same time, I already know LOTS of things I DIDN'T KNOW
prior to my first lesson. And I'm already thinking about what I
can add to my knowledge the next time I fly.
And importantly, I can also look back to when I was beginning to
learn how to play the guitar, surf or (ahem) get better with women
and recall feeling the EXACT SAME WAY about all of that as I do
RIGHT NOW about flying an airplane.
But it's been a blast getting better and better at each of those
skillsets along the way, and I'm looking forward to getting my
pilot's license someday also...probably sooner than I think.
In fact, as I write this the doorbell just rang. My Jeppeson
private pilot lesson manuals just arrived via UPS.
And I'm not going to kid you. The box probably weighs 20 pounds.
But A LOT of other guys have mastered the "method" and are now
pilots.
And I promise that if you want to meet higher quality women sooner
than later, Kevin, The Man's Approach not only worked for me but
for hundreds of other guys now also.
You'll get better with women, and I'll get better at flying
airplanes. Before we realize it, it'll all be second nature.
Go ahead and dive in, and enjoy the journey. And please do send me
your success stories along the way. I love to hear them.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. I'm thinking about doing a f-r-e-e teleseminar with Stephen
Nash on how to get a girlfriend. How does that sound?
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