X & Y COMMUNICATIONS WEEKLY NEWSLETTER


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WHAT'S INSIDE:  All we can think about is NOT messing up when we're
on a date with a woman.  But should that really be the first thing on our mind?

Well, as you've probably already guessed...where there's SMOKE, there's
FIRE.

And where there's a really good special report, there's almost always
a GREAT new program right behind it.

That's usually how it works, right?

Well this is no exception.  When you check out the link below for
Mark's new Amazing Self program, what you'll discover is the "golden
ticket" (aka "the complete system") to living your life with greater
passion and purpose:



http://bit.ly/AmazingSelf



Now wait a second...that's a pretty outrageous thing to say about
ANY program, don't you think?

Well, even though I could spout off all the "bullet points" describing
exactly why Mark has the goods to back it all up, I really think the
best thing to do is just let you see for yourself:



http://bit.ly/AmazingSelf



Otherwise, seriously...we could be here all day checking off the
list of manifold benefits you're about to enjoy courtesy of Amazing
Self.

But I'll give you one hint:  Mark's no dummy.  He has assembled a
team of "renaissance types":  dating and relationship coaches (of
which I am proud to be one), health and fitness experts, wealth
creation gurus, self-made millionaires, self-improvement authors,
and life coaches.

You already know that anything that comes from 000Relationships is
the real deal, and the Amazing Self program is limited to 200 people
to start off with.  So definitely take a couple of minutes to see
if it's right for you.

And now, here's a newsletter topic that I'm pretty sure some of you
guys are going to write in and thank me for.  I know I struggled with
this one MIGHTILY until the proverbial "light bulb" went off.

Enjoy...



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IS IT REALLY SO IMPORTANT NOT TO "MESS UP"?


The other day I happened to catch the tail end of a conversation
between two legendary college football coaches on ESPN.

The basic point they were trying to make is that if they were to
tell their players "not to fumble", those players would be MORE
likely to fumble. 

On the other hand, if they rephrased their exhortation as, "Make
sure to take care of the football", they'd be LESS likely to fumble.

Essentially, the positive visualization promoted positive results.
Meanwhile, the negative visualization was more likely to result in
a negative outcome.

It's sort of like the old saying, "Whatever you do, don't think of
a pink elephant."

Boom.  You probably thought of that pink elephant in a flash just
now.

Well, I've been giving a lot of thought lately to how forcefully
we're taught in the world of men's dating advice that we CANNOT,
under any circumstances EVER make a mistake with a woman...lest she
kick us to the curb mercilessly.

And it's really true that we're led to believe as such, isn't it? 

Man, we're told that if we make even ONE "needy" comment, or if we
say even ONE wrong thing in general there's NO CHANCE of getting a
second date.

When you add in the fact that most dating experts out there would
also have you think that creating attraction involves a massive
choreography of connecting dots and remembering a certain sequence
of events, there's really no wonder so many of us end up with MORE
problems with women AFTER we start learning how to allegedly get
better with them than before.

Under such circumstances, how can you NOT be wadded up in nerves
when you're finally in front of a real, live woman?

After all, she's pretty much poised and ready to SHOOT YOU DOWN
with pure glee at the first notion of imperfection...um, right?

Come on, man.

You already instinctively know that what I've just described sounds
preposterous, if not straight-up ridiculous.

The TRUTH about getting in front of a real, live woman is that SHE
is most likely going to be EVERY BIT as concerned about "messing
things up" as you are.

As it turns out, you see, there's ample evidence to suggest that
women fear and loathe "mess ups" on dates even MORE than men do.

One time I read a "dating disasters" column on some website where a
woman said, "Well, I spilled my coffee on the table by mistake...so
needless to say, there wasn't a second date."

I can assure her that if there indeed wasn't a second date, it
WASN'T because of the coffee. 

It COULD, however, have been because she was so disengaged from the
guy she was sitting in front of due to fear that he quickly grew
disinterested...or perhaps even thought SHE was disinterested in HIM.

Check it out.  This whole "fear of messing up" thing is starting to
look more like a self-fulfilling prophecy than anything else, isn't
it?

Make no mistake:  When one is so self-absorbed in his or her
obsession to NOT MESS up, it's kind of hard to make that person
across the table feel comfortable...let alone get to know him or her
better, right?

That alone should get our attention.  Simply SHUTTING DOWN the
obsession to "get things right" is likely to, ironically enough,
help us do a better job at getting things right.

But there's more.

Despite what "conventional wisdom" in the dating world suggests,
I'm far from convinced that MOTOS (members of the opposite sex)
even WANT us to be 100% "mess up" free.

After all, we're all human.  If we somehow find ourselves in the
presence of A woman who's so freaking perfect, do we actually LIKE
HER MORE...or is the truth of the matter than we're equally likely to
RESENT her?

Good grief, there are already a bunch of "lady gurus" telling
perfectly normal women that they're actually "divine goddesses".
What if they actually succeed at pulling it off?

How much pressure is THAT worth in today's dating economy?

Forget it, man.  At least as far as I'm concerned, I'd rather she
spill her coffee on the table and free me up to relax a bit myself.

And guess what?  That's yet another principle that is NOT gender
specific.

Here it is, guys.  I've written before about the "85/15 Rule".  If
you're on top of the "big four" and are the masculine, confident,
comfort-inspiring man of character you really want to be 85% of the
time, then the 15% of the time you demonstrate some manner of human
imperfection may actually be a RELIEF to any red-blooded woman out
there.

Now to be sure, I'm not talking about major breaches here.  If you
do something REALLY CREEPY like rolling your eyes and drooling, or
if you lift a finger to harm her or something, all bets are off.

But not getting one of her jokes?  Temporarily misunderstanding
something she said as a direct insult?  Having an unexpected
allergic reaction to the guacamole?  Even farting in public by
mistake? 

Things like that are going to happen...and probably more than once
per date. 

And guess what, the ONLY determining factor of whether or not it
craters your budding relationship with the woman is how YOU RESPOND
TO IT.   Remember, women follow your lead. 

If it's a big hairy dealbreaker to you, it's more likely to be one
to her also...although probably STILL not.

But if you can pass it all off with some humor, so will she.  And
that goes DOUBLE if the faux pas was hers.

Enjoy your time getting to know a great new woman, gentlemen.
That's what it's all about.  Give yourself--and HER--a break for a
change.


Be Good,

Scot McKay


 

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Questions?  Feel free to send yours to scot@deservewhatyouwant.com

so we cannot come even remotely close to answering them all.

This is a logistical thing, not a personal one...most definitely.

The very best questions will be answered in future editions of this
newsletter...with names changed, of course.

If, however, you prefer to live in a world where ALL of your e-mail
questions receive full, practical answers, we've got good news...
you can join the Power Sessions inner circle and get UNLIMITED
e-mail coaching.

That's pretty much a first, since some other dating coaches charge
a bundle for EACH e-mail they answer.

The best way to join is by getting your first month f-r-e-e with any
purchase from the X & Y Communications Store.  You'll get a steady
stream of advanced content in the bargain, too:



www.deservewhatyouwant.com/store



Meanwhile, if you like what you've read, please feel free to
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X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of
life you are in.  It's straight talk about the most creative
subjects, somehow encompassing character-based principles while
being neither too shy nor too judgmental to hit the important
things head on. The basic fluff you've heard a million times
isn't rehashed around here.

Enjoy!

Please also note that the information in this newsletter is for
entertainment purposes only and is not intended to constitute
"professional advice".  You are responsible for your own decisions
in life (which we hope will include meeting more high quality
women).

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