[X&Y] Don't Be A "Billy Bob"
Published: Mon, 10/25/10
X & Y COMMUNICATIONS WEEKLY NEWSLETTER
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WHAT'S INSIDE: When two people "settle" for each other, they
really may only be prolonging the inevitable. Pay close attention
to this modern-day parable and don't be a "settler"...=====
IS THERE A "BRICK WALL" BETWEEN YOU AND SUCCESS WITH WOMEN?
There's something really cool going on, which you may have already
been hearing about.
My friends Brad Jackson and Bill Preston have a really unique twist
on an idea of eliminating "sticking points" that I want to share
with you:
According to them, there's usually only ONE big thing holding you
back from massive success with women. It's like a brick wall
standing in your way.
The good news is, once you find out what that brick wall is, you can
focus on removing it...and everything starts to fall into place.
This may seem like a simple concept, but most guys have a hard time
finding out what their personal "brick wall" is.
So they are giving away a free report called "The Brick Wall
Manifesto". In it you'll find the 5 easy steps to finding the ONE
THING that's holding YOU back...and how to eliminate it.
You're going to love this...and if you click that link above you'll
be able to get the Brick Wall Manifesto for f-r-e-e, and register
to find out more about something Brad and Bill call "The Guru Black
Book" ...very interesting.
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"I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE, THEREFORE YOU MUST BE A CHEATER"
The following story is true. The names have been changed to
protect the innocent.
But there isn't anything that's going to protect YOU from the very
same thing happening in YOUR life unless you deserve what you want
and put to an end any mindset whatsoever that would cause you to
"settle".
Here's the deal.
About two years ago Billy Bob went to a bar, hopefully to meet some
women. After throwing the proverbial "spaghetti against the wall"
to see what "stuck", lo and behold he got a woman named Mary Meenow
to talk to him.
She gave him her number. He called her and asked her out the
"customary" three days later.
A few weeks went by, and Mary started bugging Billy Bob about
becoming "exclusive". "Make me your girlfriend or I'm outta
here!", she announced.
After an audible wussy-boy sigh, Billy Bob feverishly rifled
through the file cards in his head but gave in. After all, it was
a heck of a lot easier than going out there "sarging" some more,
huh?
So Billy Bob and Mary soldiered on a few more months. Finally,
Mary uttered the inevitable: "Hey my friend told me today that her
boyfriend asked her to marry him, and we've been dating longer than
they have!" Billy Bob was flustered and avoided the issue.
But Mary was persistent. Only a couple of days passed by before
she dropped the Weapon Of Mass Destruction: "I've had it with your
non-committal attitude. Either I get a ring from you or I'm
walking. You have five days to think about it."
And so the ultimatum had been issued. Using the exact same logic
he drew from months before, Billy Bob showed up with a ring four
days later.
Within two weeks they got married in Vega$.
Only a mere thirty days went by before Billy Bob--a military man--got
orders out to a base 1500 miles away. Mary, who had a son in
school, decided to wait behind for the duration of the six month
deployment rather than pick up and move only to move back half a
year from now.
Shortly thereafter, she got a call. Billy Bob was being sent out
to sea for 90 days, during which time any communication would be
all but impossible.
But it was only a month and a half or so before Mary got another
surprise call from Billy Bob. He had gone through her email
account somehow, and read where she told a friend about having gone
Salsa dancing the other night.
(Note: If you are thinking this whole jigsaw puzzle is missing a
couple of pieces, I'm right there with you.)
Billy Bob was angry, assumed she must have gotten "frisky" with a
few other guys, branded her a "cheater" and declared that he wanted
a divorce.
Click.
So what happened here?
Well, Mary isn't a cheater. And furthermore, here it is: Billy
Bob doesn't actually think so either.
It's just that he...well, uh...he sorta hasn't really...um...missed her a
whole lot since he has been gone. It isn't like he even looks at
her picture much.
And he darn skippy didn't use whatever precious Internet access
time he had to email her, let alone mix in a Skype account.
He doesn't love her anymore. In fact he probably never did.
Worse, he doesn't have the masculine strength to admit it to her,
therefore he scapegoats her with a ridiculous accusation which he
feels offers him a ready-made excuse.
How do I know all this? Simple: men who LOVE their cheating wives
typically respond to discovery of infidelity with hurt and denial
rather than a quick and dirty exit.
He SETTLED. And SO DID SHE.
This is what happens when there is no effort made to deserve what
one wants, and two people allow themselves to be okay with
accepting whoever "happens to come along".
By now you may be thinking that if two people settle for each
other, one or the other would probably end up REALLY cheating on
each other rather than simply coming up with lame excuses.
That would seem like an obvious probable outcome, wouldn't it?
Both Mary and Billy Bob DID NOT choose each other. They accepted
each other vis-à-vis circumstance, based on the possibly
self-perceived notion that they didn't have a whole lot of dating
options.
So that feeling is likely not to change AFTER they get together, is
it?
So sure, they may not actively PURSUE someone else, but if someone
interesting just so happens to show interest in one of the partners
in the relationship, the temptation to cheat could be very strong.
But first, it's THAT partner who would have to come up with some
sort of "excuse" to justify breaking things off to be with someone
else.
That may sound messed up, but remember we're talking about two
"settlers" here. Most of the time, "settlers" aren't used to being
the ones who initiate break-ups, so they tend to be awkward in
their execution.
They're already too insecure about their own respective ability to
deserve that they've dreaded the concept of breaking up and
"starting all over" with someone else more than they did staying
together, right?
So it makes perfect sense that they don't have the guts to face
being the one at fault for the breakup either, right?
In the example I gave, there's no real way to tell whether Billy
Bob actually cheated first or is simply sick of being in an
unfulfilling relationship.
But either way, the central point is the same: Things DO NOT END
WELL for two people who settled for each other. They'll always
wish they had done better.
So the moral of this sad story is that you should absolutely go out
and meet some women, and often--at a bar, club or even in the
elevator. Find out what it is you truly want in a woman BEFORE you
commit to one.
Don't be a Billy Bob. Deserve what you want and never, ever
"settle".
Be good,
Scot McKay
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Questions? Feel free to send yours to scot@deservewhatyouwant.com
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