X & Y COMMUNICATIONS WEEKLY NEWSLETTER


=====

IN THIS EDITION:  Apparently some guys still believe that they're
not getting anywhere with women because they're not good looking
enough.  Let's handle that once and for all.

=====



7 MISTAKES YOU MIGHT BE MAKING WITH WOMEN


Now, as we talked about a few newsletters ago it's NOT like men are
the ones who make ALL THE MISTAKES in a relationship and women can
do no wrong...as some of us have been brainwashed over the years
into thinking.

But let's just say the REVERSE isn't exactly true either, is it?

In fact, I'd say we've all met a woman before who we were excited
about at first...only to have HER do something that caused us to say
"Thanks but no thanks."

Yep...this is NOT a "gender specific" phenomenon in any way, shape
or form.  ANYONE can screw up a perfectly good relationship if he OR
she isn't careful.

But let's face it:  You're going to be WAY better off--and experience
WAY less dating frustration--if you do your part in NOT MAKING
MISTAKES that ruin your chances with a woman.

Now then...if only you knew what those mistakes looked like BEFORE
you made them instead of AFTER the damage is done, right?

Well, fortunately my main man Carlos Xuma has come up with a pretty
sharp new video that'll give you some pretty crystal-clear 20/20
foresight for a change:



http://bit.ly/NewVideoFromCarlos



Carlos and I tend to think a lot alike, and let me tell you he hit
the nail on the head on most of these.  #3 out of the seven types of
mistakes he talks about is a particularly common one...geez.

And have you ever asked a woman "What's wrong?" and had her answer
with "Nothing"...but you knew there WAS something? 

Oh man...what guy HASN'T had that happen to him?  Well wait until
you hear Carlos explain WHY that goes on, just as an added bonus.

So go ahead and opt-in to watch this video.  It's very much worth
your while to do so:



http://bit.ly/NewVideoFromCarlos



And now, let's move to today's topic...



=====



EXACTLY WHY WOMEN DON'T CARE AS MUCH ABOUT YOUR LOOKS AS YOU THINK THEY DO 


Sure, I know what you're saying even as you read the title above.

"OK then, how come women go nuts over all those prettyboy actors?
And why do they openly talk about how physically attractive guys
are when they're hanging out together?"

I'm not going to lie to you.  If a guy LOOKS GOOD to a woman, she'll
notice. 

But remember, women are wired differently than we are.

We tend to see a woman's physical beauty.  And usually, if it's not
there for any particular woman in our estimation she has little
chance with us.

But with women, if you watch closely they'll often notice guys from
afar who you wouldn't necessarily expect them to. 

Meanwhile, when it comes to the guy YOU may have automatically
assumed was your biggest "competition" in a particular social
setting, women just roll their eyes.

Why is this?

Well, for starters, your idea of "masculine" may be different than
a woman's.  If you're thinking in terms of a "man's man", she's
thinking more in terms of what IGNITES her femininity. 

Big difference.

I call it "The Clark Kent Factor".

You know the story with Superman.  His public persona is that of
"mild mannered" Clark Kent.  The tentative, somewhat scattered "Mr.
Nice Guy" who Lois Lane, of course, sees as "just a friend".

He's unsure of himself.  He is usually dependent on others for
guidance and leadership.  He doesn't really have a plan.  And he
speaks in a hushed tone, with a higher pitch than seems appropriate.

Meanwhile, Superman has no such issues.  Lois is overwhelmed with
animal attraction when HE'S around.

And here's the kicker:  It's the SAME GUY.  Therefore, both Clark
Kent and his alter ego Superman have the same level of "natural
giftedness" in the looks department, right?

You could even argue that Superman still rules DESPITE the simple
fact that Clark Kent sports a smart business suit whereas Superman
has the added "liability" of wearing blue and red spandex.

Whatever.

It's WHO SUPERMAN IS that makes him PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE to Lois
Lane.

"Yes Scot, but that's FICTIONAL", you may be saying to yourself.

Granted.  But the example is rooted in pure truth.

For example, Emily and I went on a nice trip to Japan and Korea
about a year ago. 

While in Seoul, we booked a visit to the infamous DMZ, which has
always fascinated me.

Since the DMZ is the "no mans land" between North and South Korea,
who are still technically at war with each other, the tour was
actually guided by a U.S. Army MP.

Since I love my job, I tend to find it difficult to leave "work" at
home even when on vacation.

So I watched closely as the MP confidently boarded the bus, flashed
a friendly but decisively competent smile, and proceeded to tell us
very directly what we could expect from the morning and what the
"ground rules" were.

"I'm going to make sure you see everything that's important, but
please remember not to wave or gesture to any North Koreans along
the way.  If you do, I'm going to have to remove you from the tour,
send you back to the bus and deal with the 'situation' after we get
back here to the base.  And believe me, I'd much rather you enjoy
the tour as much as everyone else instead."

He was reasonable and direct, without being a douchebag about it. 
He had done this tour at least a hundred times and it showed. 

Suffice it to say we all paid attention.  And as expected, nobody
created an "international incident".  Nice.

BUT...the guy was approachable enough that everyone chimed in with
questions, which he cheerfully and competently answered.

He respected everyone on the tour, and fully expected to BE
respected in return.  It was a "non issue" for him, and therefore
it was likewise a "non issue" for all of us.

Sooner than later it occurred to me that this guy's appearance was
VERY, VERY average in just about every respect. 

He was of average height and build.  And while his face wouldn't
scare small children, he wasn't going to be gracing the cover of GQ
anytime soon. 

This was no "prettyboy" magazine model.

But he was CLEARLY a "Big Four" man.  You know...confident, masculine
in the way women define it, able to make a woman (and everyone else,
frankly) feel safe and comfortable in his presence, and of solid
character.

One of the great benefits I enjoy while traveling, obviously, is
Emily's company.  

In fact, sharing world travels and the life-long memories that go
along with them is one of many, many reasons why being in a great
long-term relationship beats the tar out of one-night stands.

As such, since she was sitting next to me on the bus I asked her,
"So, do you think this guy has any trouble getting a date?"

"Oh goodness no", was her immediate response...after spontaneous
laughter.

Indeed.

To say he was confident would be an understatement.  Yet, his clear
sense of sober judgment about himself (as opposed to arrogance)
combined with a clear ability to put us at ease was nothing short
of amazing.

We were visiting what is inarguably one of the most politically
tense areas on Earth, yet everyone was laid back about it.

And as far as character goes, there was just something about how he
carried himself that openly demonstrated that passing the necessary
background checks to be in the position he was in must have been no
problem.

I turned to Emily again and said, "OK, now imagine the same guy in
another setting.  More tentative, not quite as confident.  Maybe
more of an approval-seeking 'Mr. Nice Guy'.  There'd be a big
difference in how attractive he is to women, huh?"

"Is that a trick question?" Emily replied...again with a laugh.

No kidding.  Were this guy to have been lacking in the "Big Four"
department, he'd be "Mr. Normal". 

He wouldn't be leading tours to the border between North and South
Korea, that's for sure.  And he wouldn't be the kind of man women
notice.

But the fact remained.  Perhaps ironically, even while wearing
camouflage this guy stood out from "the crowd".

As a matter of fact, we downloaded a documentary on North Korea from
Netflix a couple of weeks ago, and guess who they interviewed when
they got to the DMZ?  No kidding...it was the same guy who guided
our tour.  I'm sure that was no coincidence.

So what's the takeaway?

Simply this:  Even if you are average (or even below average) in
the "natural looks" department, it's going to be the "Big Four"
that TRULY decide whether women NOTICE you or not. 

Sure, take care of yourself.  Brush your teeth and don't dress like
a slob.

But remember "The Clark Kent Factor" always, and continue to
fine-tune the "Big Four" in your life until you become your own
version of Superman in your own "natural habitat", which is
presumably somewhere outside the DMZ. 

And by all means do so without the tights, please.


Be Good,

Scot McKay




=====




If you like what you read, please feel free to forward this
newsletter to others.  Help a brother be a better man.

In fact, did a friend forward YOU this message?  To receive this
newsletter on 21st century dating issues from X & Y Communications
on a regular basis, simply visit our main portal:
 


www.deservewhatyouwant.com



...drop your email in the annoying popup window, and download "Get
The First Date AND The Second Date" for free.  Or, just send a blank email to
xandy@aweber.com.  Easy stuff.


X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of
life you are in.  It's straight talk about the most creative
subjects, somehow encompassing character-based principles while
being neither too shy nor too judgmental to hit the important
things head on. The basic fluff you've heard a million times
isn't rehashed around here.

Enjoy!

Please also note that the information in this newsletter is for
entertainment purposes only and is not intended to constitute
"professional advice".  You are responsible for your own decisions
in life (which we hope will include meeting more high quality
women).

Any external links in this e-mail should be understood to be
affiliate links.  Purchases made through them help support X & Y
Communications podcasts, this newsletter, and all the other cool
content that you get from us that costs nothing...and keeps the
good stuff coming your way.



(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2011.  All Rights Reserved.



This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it.  If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly (and promptly) remove you from our mailing list.