[X&Y] Storytelling Secrets
Published: Mon, 01/31/11
X & Y COMMUNICATIONS WEEKLY NEWSLETTER
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WHAT'S INSIDE: Ever wanted to become the kind of guy who could
captivate a woman (or anyone else, really) with truly greatstories? Here are some quick secrets to get you well on your way...
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IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR...
If you're like most guys, you can take or leave Valentine's Day.
In fact, you'd probably rather leave it.
But don't kid yourself...not for a second. Women are absolutely ON A
MISSION once February 1st hits to make sure they are NOT "dateless"
on (or around) the 14th.
This you can bet your bottom dollar on.
Therefore, that can only mean that the next two weeks are pretty
much the BEST POSSIBLE time of the entire year to meet women.
Sure, the Holiday Season we just finished up is pretty good too...but
I'd say this coming two-week window is even MORE powerful.
So...long story short, if you do not have an online dating presence
than you'd better go FIND ONE...and FAST.
And what if you DO have an online profile that you cobbled together
and threw up (hopefully only figuratively) somewhere? Well then,
you'd better get that bad boy FINE TUNED in pretty short order.
After all, you will NEVER, EVER, EVER have a better shot at
succeeding MASSIVELY on the online dating site of your choice than
RIGHT NOW.
And to get your online dating act together with a quickness, what's
behind the link below is just about the most solid investment you
could ever make:
You see, just because connecting with women online and meeting them
in the real world is EASIER this time of year doesn't mean it's
suddenly okay to "settle" for whoever lands in your inbox.
No sir.
This is still about CHOICE. This is about you SELECTING only your
top choices in your entire metro area.
And what's more, getting those amazing women into your life isn't
exactly going to happen BY ITSELF either. You've got to man up and
actually CONTACT the women you want to meet.
Well, Online Dating Domination is all about putting you in the
proverbial "catbird's seat" as far as all of that's concerned. (Nice, huh?)
By now I fully realize you'll need a spark to get you going on
this.
After all, who am I kidding?
I mean, sure...in early Februarys past it's 100% TRUE that I've
actually taken FULL advantage of the kind of online dating
"wonderland" that really, truly is available to you about now...and
which I've described to you above.
I distinctly remember almost laughing myself to sleep wondering if
I should leave a few of the great women I was meeting for some of
the other guys out there.
But my enthusiasm toward the fantastic success that can come to YOU
so ridiculously easily this time of year will probably be TOTALLY
LOST on you unless I make it as easy as possible to get your very
own copy of Online Dating Domination.
Very well, then.
Between now and MIDNIGHT TONIGHT (and I'm not kidding), enter
"MIDNIGHT 50" in the "Coupon Code" field when ordering Online
Dating Domination and I'll give you a FULL 50% OFF on the entire
program.This will NOT be the "demo version". I'll indeed fork over the
WHOLE THING for less than the amount your last bad date probably
cost.
Remember...only guys who ACT FAST will enjoy the powerful advantage
I'm talking about here. Entering "MIDNIGHT 50" in the "Coupon Code"
field is your ticket: The time to get going on this is now, and the clock starts ticking
tomorrow, February 1st.
And now, here's Part One of two parts on a critical skill I haven't
talked nearly enough about in the past...
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STORYTELLING SECRETS (PART ONE)
Before I get going on this topic, I have a confession to make.
The reason why I haven't written much on this topic isn't exactly
due to pure neglect on my part. I honestly recognize the value of
spectacular storytelling skills in life...especially when it comes to
captivating women and charming their socks off.
But here's the problem.
The overwhelming majority of guys who write me ask about how to
actually approach and meet a woman.
If not that, they want to know what to say NEXT after the
introduction is made.
And to be honest, you really can't just launch into "storytelling
mode" as soon as you meet a woman...at least not if you're just
starting to get comfortable with the whole idea of meeting women in
general.
It's true. Storytelling is a terrific skill, but one that you're
likely only going to leverage fully once you've created a decent
amount of comfort and attraction in a woman already.
So with that caveat on the table, let's proceed with the clear
understanding that this two-part series is NOT going to be about
"how to meet women and start conversations with them".
You've got The Man's Approach and about fifty previous newsletters
and podcasts (including the most recent TCW) to cover those bases
for you, right?
Rather, what I'm going to share with you here is a GOLDEN way to
make sure that conversations you've ALREADY STARTED with a woman
are not only continued, but taken to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL...courtesy of
your immense amount of social charm.
Deal?
OK, then. Off we go.
Storytelling. What do we ALREADY know about it?
Well, for starters we know that if someone really charismatic
starts telling a truly GREAT story, he can literally gather a crowd
around him.
BUT...we also know that if our Uncle Gerald starts blathering on
after dinner about "back in the day" for the umpteen-zillionth
time, everyone's going to get up and leave the table.So what's the difference between Uncle Gerald and the guy who's so
good at becoming the center of attention?
That question, to me at least, is best answered by sharing the
eight crucial elements that together form the very ESSENCE of
high-quality storytelling.
Get these factors working for you and you'll be a "raconteur
extraordinaire" almost overnight.
Here are the first four:
1) The "FEM WC" Is NOT The Women's Restroom
Nah, it's just a convenient acronym to help you remember the FIVE
WAYS to make any story actually INTERESTING.
"FEM WC" actually stands for "funny", "endearing", "mysterious",
"weird", and "curious".
"Funny" I think you can grasp without a whole lot of elaboration.
If a story makes people laugh that's a good thing...unless, of
course, they're laughing out of awkward embarrassment.
"Endearing" means that the story causes the listener to think about
positive, fun thoughts...or even see YOU in a positive, fun light.
If you have a story about how you stopped the car in traffic to
help a train of baby ducks cross the street safely, that would
qualify.
Stories with a "mysterious" element are great because we as human
beings love to puzzle our brains trying to figure out what is yet
unanswered. Any story you have with an "unsolved" piece to it
would likely be a great one to share.
Now while telling "weird" stories can be powerful, you've got to be
a bit more careful than usual. Make sure that it's the SUBJECT
MATTER of the story at hand that's "weird", not YOU for telling it.
This means that there should be something YOU see as strange or
incongruous that you're merely sharing with others. By carefully
positioning yourself as the NORMAL observer, you keep your
storytelling priorities in order.
And what about "curious"? Any story with a curiosity element will
naturally cause listeners to ask questions and find out even more
about what you shared. This obviously means that your story was
interesting.
If after having told one of your favorite stories you find that
people almost always respond with something to the effect of,
"Well, but wait a minute though. What about...?" then you know
you've hit the "curious" button.
Note that "boring", "creepy", "awkward", "generic" and "unoriginal"
are each NOT a part of the "FEM WC" acronym....and rightly not.
2) "Telling A Story" And "Trying To Impress" Are NOT Synonymous
Man, is it ever easy for us as guys--all in the name of
"storytelling"--to lapse into droning on and on about how cool our
car, boat, job and/or ex-girlfriend are.
Geez. Hopefully we don't need to go over this again, but just in
case...here goes:
If you're TRYING TO IMPRESS a woman with all of your stuff, you're
going to come off as an inherently UNIMPRESSIVE man.
Remember always that ANY story you tell shouldn't come off as
braggadocio.
If you can tell your stories about something other than yourself,
that's excellent.
If you're inescapably a central character in one of your own
stories, at the very least mix in a bit of self-deprecation...you
know, to make the story "endearing", "funny" and perhaps even
"curious".
3) Stay On Point
One of the beauties of a well-executed story is that it actually
FURTHERS the conversation, elaborating upon the subject at hand
rather than abruptly changing gears altogether.
After all, the main point here is to ENGAGE the woman in continued
interesting conversation, right?
Well, in order to get that sort of "heavy lifting" done you'll need
to make sure that your story has at least SOME tie-in to what's
already being talked about.
Otherwise, if you bust out with, "Hey, did I ever tell you about my
Uncle Gerald?" you just might get puzzled looks...shortly before
everyone gets up and leaves the table, so to speak.
By the way, as an important aside, always be sure to avoid
"one-upmanship" stories in the name of keeping the topic on track.
This is kind of in line with point #2 above also. That just comes
off as an insecure form of approval seeking.
Think about it. There's really nothing worse than when someone
follows something amazing you just said with, "That's nothing. One
time I..." That's just an open display of horrible social skills.
4) Get The Story Straight
Here's a REALLY important one.
Just like every good stand-up comedian already knows, DELIVERY is
everything.
That can only mean you've got to KNOW YOUR STORY like the back of
your hand before you tell it. Make sure you know all the important
parts (without leaving any out) and are able to tell them in order.
In other words, you don't want to sabotage your tale by saying "Oh
wait--I forgot to tell you about the part where..."
That just messes up the flow of things, all the while sapping much
of the ever-elusive charisma out of your presence. Not fun.
Here's a great tip for making sure you really KNOW your stories:
Create your stories around events AS THEY HAPPEN.
That's right. Whenever you experience something awesome, make it a
point to remind yourself that THIS is the kind of thing you're
going to want to tell your grandkids (and the next hottie you meet)
about.
That will help you form a terrific story while the memory is still
fresh.
Similarly, if you hear a story from someone else that you think
you'd be interested in recounting later, be sure to go over the
main points in your head right after hearing the story so you can
commit it to memory.
And yes...3rd party stories can be just as effective as 1st person
ones. At the very least, by starting a story with, "You know, a
friend of mine once..." it shows you likely have an active social
circle (aka "friends") already in place.
In our next regular newsletter we'll follow up with four more
critical components of solid storytelling...starting with yet another
one having to do with that all-important aspect of DELIVERY.
And the other three I've got in store for you? Let's just say that
I'm almost sure you'll have never thought of ANY of them before.
Stay tuned...and get ready to set yourself apart from all other
would-be storytelling geniuses out there.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. I have something on my calendar for 11 am EST tomorrow that,
if it goes according to plan, will be one of the MAJOR COUPS in X &
Y Communications history.
And if it indeed happens, I'll share everything with you as soon as
possible afterward. (And seriously...your jaw will drop.)
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X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of
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subjects, somehow encompassing character-based principles while
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Enjoy!
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"professional advice". You are responsible for your own decisions
in life (which we hope will include meeting more high quality
women).
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