[X&Y] 4 More Star-Studded Storytelling Secrets
Published: Fri, 02/04/11
X & Y COMMUNICATIONS WEEKLY NEWSLETTER
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WHAT'S INSIDE: Here's the second part of my series on how to be a
master storyteller. This is a powerful advanced skill that can
truly enchant women FAST.
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That's just two days from now.
And now, let's talk about storytelling...
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STORYTELLING SECRETS (PART TWO)
So why is storytelling skill so important when it comes to
attracting women?
Sure, you could simply banter back and forth in a playful manner
for a while and probably succeed at getting her number. Isn't that
enough?
Well, think about it this way. We already know that women are
attracted to a man with an interesting life and that they are
hard-wired to follow your lead.
When you tell a great story, you not only offer a window into what
must be but one of numerous fun and exciting adventures continually
happening in your life, you do so in a much smoother, more elegant
and more efficient manner than the herd of d-bags who try to get
that job done by bragging objectively about their possessions,
status and/or accomplishments.
What's more, by definition telling a good story DRAWS PEOPLE
IN...gaining and holding their attention. In case it's not obvious,
this inherently demonstrates that YOU are not only leading, but
also that your leadership is ENJOYABLE to follow.
Now, how about that?
Last time I shared with you the first four of eight key ways to
make sure you're a master storyteller.
Here is the second quartet of secrets, starting off--as
promised--with another key way to make sure the all-important
element of delivery is spot on:
1) Deliver It With Inflection, Not Infection
I don't care if you've notched more amazing exploits than that guy
in the Dos XX commercials. If you talk about them in a way that
reminds everyone of a dial tone, then your efforts are going to
fall flat.
Simply put, if YOU don't sound excited about what's being recounted
in the story, you really can't expect anyone else to be excited
about it either.
Remember, storytelling demonstrates leadership.
How do you want the listener to feel toward your story? If your
delivery is stiff, emotionless and/or awkward that vibe is going to
"infect" whoever is listening.
But when you speak with a bit more energy it makes your listener
more enthusiastic about hearing your story.
Use the right tone of voice and cadence to carry whatever it is
you're talking about, depending on exactly where you are in the
storytelling process.
If you imagine a Dad telling a three-year-old the story of the
Three Little Pigs, you instinctively know that there's just GOTTA
be a different voice for the three pigs and the Big Bad Wolf.
And when you get right down to it, we never outgrow what it is that
makes bedtimes stories great.
You don't want to wave your arms and bellow like a Mexican radio
announcer, of course. But you do have to show at least SOME sign
that your story is, at the very least, interesting.
2) Don't Compromise Your Good Image
Before you tell a story simply on the merit of what a great story
it is, be sure to take the time to think through what underlying
tale that story is going to tell about YOU.
For example, will telling the story indirectly advertise to the
listener something about you or your past that you'd rather not
disclose?
Or does the story somehow subjectively convey to the listener that
you might have a character flaw that really isn't there?
As great as the story might be, is the subject matter really sort
of inappropriate for the social setting you're in? If so, telling
the story in that context may cause others to think you lack basic
social graces.
I think you get what I'm saying here.
Essentially, the important thing is to THINK THROUGH the actual
social ramifications of having told the story BEFORE you actually
launch into telling it.
I mean think about it...what if you get about 2/3 of the way through
the story and figure out that you'd probably be better off not
finishing it?
You and I both know it'll be too late at that point to "save face".
You just can't leave people hanging in situations like that.
3) Have An Abridged Version
Here's a great little storytelling tip that almost NOBODY ever
thinks about: Make sure you've got the "Cliff's Notes" version of
your best stories handy.
Why?
Because not all social situations are created equal, that's why.
Sometimes you may have all the time in the world to present your
best story in all of its glory.
But other times, you may just want to give the salient points of it
and leave it at that.
This might prove valuable in other situations besides the obvious
one of being short on time.
Sometimes, for example, you may sense that the level of intrigue
you'd create in a woman towards you might be greatly enhanced by
simply dropping a few hints about an amazing moment in your life
rather than giving all the lurid details...especially when conversing
with several people at once.
Or, someone else may be sharing a fun story, and you might choose
(correctly) to simply offer a glimpse into the rapport the two of
you share WITHOUT completely stealing his or her thunder.
For example, someone may be telling a story about a recent trip to
Tokyo and mention how great the sushi was.
After the story is finished, you might chime in with, "Yeah man, I
completely agree. I particularly enjoy those kaiten zushi places
where they send the plates of sushi around on a conveyor belt and
you just pay for the number of plates you stack up. It's hilarious
how the lady comes around, counts the plates and writes a number on
your ticket, right?"
Notice how you're simply RELATING to the storyteller, not really
playing "one-upmanship" with him or her.
Meanwhile, other participants in the conversation will likely be
amazed just a bit by the matter-of-fact subtlety with which you
convey how varied and rich your own life is.
That's a good thing.
4) Be "Inductive"
I've saved the true "ace in the hole" I have for you for last.
Let's just cut to the chase. The single biggest MISTAKE that we
tend to make when telling a story is to tell it in a DEDUCTIVE
manner as opposed to an INDUCTIVE manner.
What the heck do I mean by that?
Well, here's an example of how a DEDUCTIVE storyteller might kick
off his tale:
"Hey, one time my Uncle Harold almost fell off a cliff trying to
catch butterflies. Turns out he didn't, but it was crazy. Here's
what happened..."
What's the problem there?
Instinctively, we often feel as if we have to inform our listener
of exactly what the story's going to be about before we start
telling it.
Usually, this includes a dead giveaway of how the story ENDS.
But rather than achieving our apparent intention of creating
interest in how the story might unfold, we actually all but KILL
the intrigue when we do this.
Essentially, you will have immediately and automatically DISENGAGED
the listener's brain from the storytelling process because he or
she already knows the outcome.
On the other hand, an INDUCTIVE storytelling method might involve
beginning the story more like this:
"Man, my Uncle Harold really knew how to turn simple, silly
activities into the world's craziest adventures. For example,
one time he decided he would buy a butterfly net and..."
As you can guess, a story told this way would hold the listener's
interest far more effectively because it SOUNDS interesting from
the outset but the ending is as yet UNKNOWN.
This naturally encourages the listener to guess for him or herself
along the way about how the story might end, and therefore fosters
total commitment to hearing the whole thing.
Indeed, INDUCTIVE storytelling all but makes sure that your
listener hangs on every word...and it certainly makes the story more
fun to hear in general.
Think about it. When have you seen a good detective show on TV
that DIDN'T leave you hanging until the very end?
Seriously, this one simple structural change to how you present
your stories is very likely to be THE difference maker as to
whether your stories completely captivate or otherwise.
Having now discovered the eight keys to storytelling that I've
shared with you, it might be easy to feel a bit overwhelmed.
By all means, don't sweat it. As I mentioned, we're talking about
an advanced skill here and as such it might take a bit of time to
perfect.
Nevertheless, if you start off with a solid story that you know
well, presenting it in an inductive manner with an enthusiastic
delivery will take you most of the way to mastery. From there,
it's all about fine-tuning your storytelling skill in order to go
from good to great.
Give it a try.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. The next episode of TCW will be recorded on MONDAY, having
been rescheduled due to "rolling brownouts" here in San Antonio...no
thanks to the ridiculously unusual (read: "friggin' cold enough to
snow") weather.
You've been asking for the topic my co-host and I will be covering
so stay tuned...
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