X & Y COMMUNICATIONS NEWSLETTER FOR MEN


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IN THIS EDITION:   Have you ever been on a blind date?  If you're
into online dating, make that a "yes".  Find out the potentially
hazardous tricks your mind plays on you when out on a blind date,
and how to get your head back into the game and deserve what you
want.

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PHONE SEX?  THIS IS WHERE I DRAW THE LINE...


Okay, let's just throw this out on the table.

David Wygant completely lacks shame.   But that's only because he's
"donated it to science".

Here's what I mean:



http://bit.ly/PhoneSexRevealed



Let me be the first to admit to you that this brand new program of
his (called Phone Sex Revealed) is one that I was SERIOUSLY on the
fence about.  

I mean, YES...I fully realize that every shred of what he's teaching
you in it is FOR REAL.  In fact, it isn't only POSSIBLE, it's
PROBABLE.

I know first-hand that women secretly LOVE to be horned on via the
telephone...as long as they're both ATTRACTED to you and COMFORTABLE
with you.  It really brings out that "naughty side" that I've
written to you about before.

Basically, if you call a woman when she's in a nice, quiet place
where she's free to let her fantasies run wild (e.g. when she's
already snuggled in her bed late at night), then it's pretty much
safe to say she'll be flat-out disappointed if you "fail to deploy".

But when Wygant told me he had compiled actual LIVE DEMOS of how it
all magically unfolds when done correctly, my mind started racing.

Now, I wasn't necessarily giving thought to WHAT David was teaching.

After all, I've "been there and done that".  I've got a long
history of getting women hot on the phone myself. 

It's REALLY fun, by the way.  Better yet, you might be SHOCKED by
how women are absolutely NOT "all talk and no action".  You might
very well have a "tiger" on your hands the next time you see her.

What I WAS wondering, however--if you want me just to be blunt about
it--was if David actually had CONSENT from these women to actually
PUBLISH his "conversations" with them.

I know there's NO WAY I'd personally make public anything like this
from my own "archives"...not even some of the hot IM convos I've
enjoyed.  (By the way, David includes a few of his own examples of
those as well).

And there's also NO WAY I'd share the Phone Sex Revealed program
with you if Dave didn't have full permission from everyone involved
to offer it.

But he swears up and down that these crazy chicks featured in his
program were MORE THAN HAPPY to have him share the audio files.  (I
don't know, man...California girls, right?)

To be honest, Phone Sex Revealed really is a bit "edgier" than what
I usually tell you about.  In fact, this program steps RIGHT UP to
the "line" and comes just short of crossing it.

The truth is I don't at all condone any of the recent wave of "sex
training" products that features the word "porn" in the title.  And
rest assured you won't see me promote any of them...ever.

But in this case, I suppose the real orgasms from real women are an
integral part of the "big picture".

And hey...this really is a MAJOR skill that women really WANT you to
possess.  Plus, I have to say that Dave's priced this program very
reasonably considering all that's included (e.g. complete
breakdowns to go with the audios and some nice bonuses).

So with all that in mind, here you go...check out Phone Sex Revealed
and decide for yourself:



http://bit.ly/PhoneSexRevealed



I guess the only question left to ask is, "So Champ, do you have
the skills?"  One thing's for sure.  Once David Wygant's through
showing you the ropes, you most certainly will.  His 100% guarantee
says so:



http://bit.ly/PhoneSexRevealed



(By the way, he doesn't feature this program on his Web site for
some reason.  Go figure...)

Now let's turn our attention to blind dates.
 


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BLIND DATES:  DON'T BE LEFT IN THE DARK


Let's talk old skool for a bit. 

It used to be that a 'blind date' came about by a simple
conversation.  Someone you know (preferably) came up to you,
sensing for better or worse that you were basically dateless, and
said, "You know, I have this friend you HAVE to meet.  You two
would LOOOVE each other."  

Usually this would-be matchmaker was female, as it has always
seemed to me that women love to take on that role (e.g. find me an
"It's Just Lunch" franchise with a male director).  

If you were like me, being the willing accomplices such that we
were, you'd tend to go, "Uh...sure...why not?  What do I have to lose?"
 
Now, considering most of us as guys tend to go through a phase
where we're all about spending large sums of cash securing first
dates that "impress women" with how artificial and awkward they are
you actually had PLENTY to lose. 

But whatever...that was beside the point.

So you went on the date.  And your brain would start to mess with
you...hard. 

I'll elaborate more on that in a minute.

First, however, let's teleport back into the present.  If you are
like millions of others scattered across the four corners of the
virtual landscape, you've discovered the masterpiece that is
"online dating". 

By now you know that we're huge believers in online dating around
here, and hope you are too.  (If not, drop me a note at
scot@deservewhatyouwant.com.  We have ways of replicating that
mindset.)

This, then, naturally means that "blind dates" have become a
multi-billion dollar industry.  No longer is what we're talking
about here limited to your Aunt Gertrude setting you up with her
bridge partner's brace-faced niece.  Not really.  This is the 21st
century, boys and girls.

And come on, let's get down to it:  When you meet someone you met
on an online dating site for the first time, it really is a blind
date.

Profile narratives?  Telephone conversations?  IM?  Even pictures?
They're all essentially meaningless in the real world much of the
time. 

When that person darkens the door to Starbucks you might very well
be darkened also.  Or else you'll light up.  Or...your brain will
start to mess with you, like I said.  After all, it's a blind date.

So what do I mean by all this talk about "your brain messing with
you"?

Well, it's like this.  As much as most guys have issues with
approaching women in the "real world", there is one undeniable
factor involved in doing so that can bring a lot of clarity to a
man's life if he lets it: 

When you approach women YOU are FULLY AWARE of who's doing it for
you and who isn't. 

If you walk up to the most attractive woman in the place, verify
that she's a high-quality woman--and she's digging your chili--then
you KNOW THE SCORE.  Way to deserve what you want. 

On the other hand, if "hope" is your strategy and you go through 20
or 30 women before one actually will hang out with you, you also
KNOW THE SCORE.  You are SETTLING. 

On a blind date, that's all off the table--you get no such frame of
reference, really. 

You have not chosen someone from a field of many.  You simply have
a certain person in front of you...RIGHT HERE.  RIGHT NOW.  Having
literally skipped the whole process of realizing initial attraction
from afar, you're actually on a real, live DATE with this person
from the first time you actually see her.

The "heavy lifting" usually associated with getting to that step
has been done for you.

That's where "lazy" goes "crazy".  And the longer it has been since
you've been on a quality date, the more hallucinatory the trip gets.

One of the key hallmarks of a Wildly Successful Dating Life is that
you are comfortable weeding out people who do not meet your
exacting standards. 

This is not a matter of snobbery, it's a matter of necessity when
you have options. 

Simply put, relationships that are not exactly platonic are not
exactly the place for philanthropy.  If you want to save the world,
team up with the greatest person you've ever met when that happens
and save the world together.  When you are talking about something
as mission-critical as having the right MOTOS in your life, then
charity cases need not apply.

But until we get to that place...the Wildly Successful Dating
Place...we often let certain insidious factors creep to the top of
our list when deciding who we're going to date and/or talk
ourselves into being attractive to. 

These factors are (in order):

   

1)   "This person actually finds me attractive, therefore I'm
attracted." 


2)   "This person is actually available, therefore I'm available."


3)   "We're already on a date, so the convenience of this set up sure
beats having to go out and dredge up someone else."



I talk about being "clouded by beauty vision" quite often.  Now
we're talking about being flat-out "blinded by blind dates".

No joke. 

Seriously, here's where the rubber meets the road:  If you had seen
this person you are on a blind date with out in public prior to
being set up together, would you have even TAKEN NOTICE?  

Here's the crazy part.  Often, if you have the guts to ask yourself
that question on a first date with someone you met online (or who
your Aunt Gertrude recommended, for that matter) you find yourself
answering as follows:  "You know, I DON'T KNOW."

It's true.  Sometimes your brain plays tricks on you to the point
where you simply can't separate where the "butterflies" of being on
an actual date with someone end and real, natural attraction
starts.  

So yeah, you go on a second date, and you may even be excited about
it.  But your brain is flipped out over this.  What is REAL here?

Thankfully, I believe there are several reliable metrics you can
apply that will give very real clarity to the situation:



1)   Would you be proud to introduce your date to your friends?  This
is HUGE.  If you are embarrassed by this concept, you're only
fooling yourself.


2)   Have you seen someone else during the course of the first date
who caused your attention to wander?  If you're at breakfast and
can't keep your eyes off the chick in the booth over there, it's
your judgment that's been scrambled and/or fried over hard.


3)   Are you more excited about seeing this person again, or more
excited to just be dating someone?  Can you clearly see the
difference between these two states of mind?  It's important to do
so.


4)   Were you bored at any time during the first date?  If you find
your mind drifting, you're kidding yourself if you think there's
chemistry there.


5)   Do you find yourself justifying and/or wishing away certain
flaws?  Remember, there's a real-world difference between
"perfectly imperfect" and straight-up "not right".  "Perfect
imperfections" endear you to someone.  That's good.  Justifying
stuff that irritates you or turns you off?  That's settling.


6)   Are you using all the time spent on e-mail, IM and telephone
prior to actually meeting this person (or Lord forbid--the cost of
the plane tickets) as a weapon against yourself to "give this a
chance" despite your gut reaction?  Stop kidding around.  It's
going nowhere.  Welcome to why most online dating experts recommend
moving from first e-mail to first meeting ASAP.



So there you have it.  A half-dozen highly practical principles you
can use like a GPS to find your mental bearings and get your head
around "blind dates".   

In closing, here's some good news.  Once you deserve what you want,
it's amazing how well "blind dates" can go. 

Even back in college there was a time when a friend set me up over
the summer with a girl who was going to be in the incoming freshman
class where I was going to school.

I remember being impressed when I met her, but in retrospect I now
recognize how I struggled at the time with a lot of the things I've
written about in this newsletter. 

We decided to enter the school year as "friends", but once we were
at college together I found myself choosing her over all other
options.  So my friend had his game on when he set me up with her.
Looking back, all of the "clarity factors" above were in check.

And yes, that fateful morning Emily and I met all the boxes were
checked also...even though both of us had options.  And that's about
as much 20/20 foresight as a blind date can offer.
  

Be Good,

Scot McKay




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X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of
life you are in.  It's straight talk about the most creative
subjects, somehow encompassing character-based principles while
being neither too shy nor too judgmental to hit the important
things head on. The basic fluff you've heard a million times
isn't rehashed around here.

Enjoy!

Please also note that the information in this newsletter is for
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"professional advice".  You are responsible for your own decisions
in life (which we hope will include meeting more high quality
women).

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