[X&Y] 6 More Ways To Make Her Feel Comfortable With You
Published: Sat, 06/11/11
X & Y COMMUNICATIONS NEWSLETTER FOR MEN
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IN THIS EDITION: By popular demand, here are more ways to help a
woman feel comfortable with you when making conversation with herfor the first time.
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PICKUP, SEDUCTION...AND THEN WHAT?
Sure, it's incredibly important to actually MEET women if you want
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SIX MORE WAYS TO HELP HER FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH YOU
Not too long ago I shared with you the secret of asking "how" or
"what" questions instead of "why" questions to help a woman feel
more comfortable with you.
Based on your positive feedback on that newsletter, I've compiled a
several more ways to cause a woman to feel safety and comfort when
she's around you.
You can attract her wildly, but if she doesn't feel SAFE around you
then you're getting NOWHERE fast
Here's a rapid-fire list of very practical ways to get the job done:
1) LEAVE THE "SHAMWOW" GUY IMITATION AT HOME
Were I to tell you that approaching and meeting women is NOT
exactly a sales demo presentation, some of you would argue with me.
Fine then. Just make sure you remember that YOU'RE the one with
the "product" that should sell itself, and that it's up to HER to
sell her value to you.
That alone should curtail any super-needy high-pressure sales
tactics on your part.
2) MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT...SORT OF
I'm sure you've always been told to "maintain eye contact" when in
a conversation with someone. That's an excellent idea talking to a
woman you've just met.
I mean, clearly you don't want to be starting off into space as if
ANYTHING going on around you would be more interesting that talking
to her (unless maybe it's true).
But here's the thing, you ALSO don't want to be LASER FOCUSED on
her to the point it's as if you're staring right through her.
That's just creepy. Be sure to divert your eyes casually at least
SOME of the time.
3) RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO CHECK OUT THE MERCHANDISE
Here's a bit of a secret. Most women really DO enjoy it when you
notice their more appealing physical "assets".
But that said, you don't want to overdo it to the point you appear
to be obsessed with getting her naked.
And most definitely you'll need to avoid "staring her up and down"
while you're in the act of conversing with her. That really makes
women self-conscious and seems very much like a "rookie mistake" to
them. Ouch.
4) AS FOR TEASING HER, REMEMBER THIS SIMPLE GUIDELINE
If a woman has a witty, fun personality then by all means tease her
a bit and let the banter fly. Just make sure that you don't INSULT
her in the process.
Insults are neither funny, engaging nor enjoyable.
Ask yourself if what you're about to say calls attention to
anything she might genuinely feel subconscious about--especially if
it involves something she can't really change.
Generally speaking, teasing her in a way that accuses her of things
that are clearly NOT directed toward her personhood and/or which
are completely innocuous is usually the best way to go.
For example: If she orders what you consider to be a "chick
drink", you might say, "Oh man...what a GIRL DRINK. Let me get you
one of those little pink umbrellas for it."
5) DON'T TAKE THINGS SO GUNFIGHTER SERIOUSLY
Ok, ok. I get that you've been told that cool guys don't smile or
laugh so much.
And you definitely don't see Clint Eastwood, John Wayne and James
Bond giggling themselves silly too often. Granted.
But then again, you can't be a total stone-face around a woman you
just met and expect to INCREASE her comfort level.
Make her "earn it" if you want, but if she does or says something
charming you can and should at least acknowledge it with a smile.
6) WATCH THE NERVOUS MANNERISMS
You know, thinking about the last point above one of the reasons
why the recommendation to NOT smile or laugh in a woman's presence
is so prevalent just might be because we so often interject fake or
"nervous" laughter into our conversations with them.
This betrays discomfort on our part at the baseline level. She
follows our lead down that dark alley...and we're toast.
Fidgety and/or random hand gestures; repeating the same word or
phrase too much (e.g. that's awesome, ending every sentence with
"okay?, etc.) and talking so fast that you truncate entire
sentences all have a similar (uncomfortable) effect.
What it all comes down to gentlemen, as always, is that it's NOT a
"competition". It's just a conversation.
Meeting women and talking to them should be something you enjoy.
Relax and have fun and she'll almost always be sure to so the same.
And if she DOESN'T, at the very least you'll know that it's HER
loss, right?
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of
life you are in. It's straight talk about the most creative
subjects, somehow encompassing character-based principles while
being neither too shy nor too judgmental to hit the important
things head on. The basic fluff you've heard a million times
isn't rehashed around here.
Enjoy!
Please also note that the information in this newsletter is for
entertainment purposes only and is not intended to constitute
"professional advice". You are responsible for your own decisions
in life (which we hope will include meeting more high quality
women).
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2011. All Rights Reserved.
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