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THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "FRIENDLY" AND "FLIRTING"


Today's newsletter is on a topic that really isn't talked about
nearly often enough.  But let me tell you, we as guys tend to tear
our hair out over it.

The scene is a classic one.

Maybe you're eating lunch at a restaurant, depositing a few checks
at the bank or checking in for a flight to Denver.

Whatever the case, a particularly attractive woman is helping you
out and during the course of your brief interaction with her you
distinctly notice how NICE she's being to you.

She's smiling, laughing at your bad jokes, asking if she can help
you with anything else, etc.

The thought crosses your mind to get her phone number, but you find
yourself wondering, "Is she really as charmed by me as it SEEMS, or
is she just nice to EVERYBODY and I'm no different?"

To be fair, the often-asked question of whether women who are "on
the clock" tend to be friendlier because they're paid to be is a
semi-valid one, even though I believe personality trumps paycheck
in most cases. 

If she's flirting with you, it's probably for real.

Women don't tend to FLIRT unnecessarily while on the job...especially
since, ironically enough, women who work for tips have LONG SINCE
figured out that being "nice" makes them as much if not MORE money
than being falsely flirtatious.

That's mostly because most of us as guys don't know the difference
anyway...hence the need for this newsletter.

But the situation I'm describing here is equally likely to happen
when you sit next to that transfer student in class or strike up a
conversation with a random cutie at the subway station.

So whether she's on the job or not, which is it?  Is she just
being NICE, or is she FLIRTING with you?

My first impulse is to remind you that it simply DOESN'T MATTER,
when you get right down to it.

If you WANT to get her phone number, you should make that bold move
to GET IT instead of over-analyzing the situation.  The only thing
holding you back would be "fear of rejection".

After all, women are individuals and as such not everything I'm
about to share with you is foolproof, anyway.  The only way to know
for SURE if she's interested is to proactively suggest that the
interaction continue later.

But then again, I fully realize that most of us would rather have a
better handle on the situation with a woman we've just met than
that before making arrangements to continue the conversation with
her.

Fair enough.  Here are TWO key considerations that will help you
out in these situations from now on.

The first one is what most guys would think of first:  Is she
giving you MORE ATTENTION than she is anyone else?

Simply stated, more attention = more interest.
 
Keep your eyes open here.  If you're in a busy restaurant and the
waitress keeps checking in on you and making small talk, that's
meaningful.

Similarly, if you are on a flight with a relatively light pax load
and the flight attendant actually sits down to chat with you--a la
Kirsten Dunst in Elizabethtown--then that's a pretty clear sign.

On the other hand, if the World's Hottest Bank Teller is saying the
same things to the 65-year-old grandma as she is to you and
flashing that same winning smile, then not so much.

The second indicator I want to share with you is arguably a BETTER
and certainly more POWERFUL one.

That's this:  Is she being FEMALE?

You got it.  You want to gauge whether she turning on the
FEMININITY for you or not.

It's like this, gentlemen.  Masculinity and femininity are the FUEL
that powers sexual polarity.   And if you want your motor to run,
you've got to gas up.  And if you want to PUT OUT a fire, you sure
don't throw a bucket of petrol on it.

So then, if she's talking, moving and generally carrying herself in
an unmistakably EXTRA FEMALE manner, you've got all the evidence
you need that she's interested.

I can prove what I'm telling you by putting the shoe on the other
foot, as is so often useful to do.

Have you ever been minding your own business when all of the sudden
a woman you are decidedly NOT attracted to decides to strike up a
conversation with you?

If you're a total idiot/jerk (or "I/J") you may just tell her to
get lost.  Since most of us aren't that rude though (neither are
most women by the way), we'll probably respond in a civil manner.

But think about it.  Even if you go through the motions of friendly
conversation with her, you're going to go out of your way to keep
things as NEUTER as possible, aren't you?

You instinctively know how to keep the conversation completely
DEVOID of sexual polarity.  After all, to actually FLIRT with a
woman who grosses you out would make your stomach turn.

I think you get my drift.

Remember always that the definition of "flirting", at least at the
baseline, is ANY interaction between a man and a woman that would
feel REALLY AWKWARD and creepy if between two heterosexual members
of the same gender.

So if the conversation you are having with ANY woman is one that
you'd UNIQUELY have with someone of the female persuasion, and
she's LIKING IT, then she's flirting with you.

That's about as simple and as practical as it gets.  Enjoy.


Be Good,

Scot McKay


P.S.  Check this.  I just got hit with a new audio program for The
Difference from one of my friends that is so GOLDEN I'm resisting
the urge to completely spill the beans about it right now.  But
it's SO GOOD I've got to keep it under wraps until precisely the
right moment.

Suffice it to say that The Difference will be WELL WORTH the wait.
I should have a firm release date for you very soon... 




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X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of
life you are in.  It's straight talk about the most creative
subjects, somehow encompassing character-based principles while
being neither too shy nor too judgmental to hit the important
things head on. The basic fluff you've heard a million times
isn't rehashed around here.

Enjoy!

Please also note that the information in this newsletter is for
entertainment purposes only and is not intended to constitute
"professional advice".  You are responsible for your own decisions
in life (which we hope will include meeting more high quality
women).



(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2011.  All Rights Reserved.



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