[X&Y] What To Do If You Have NO IDEA What To Say To A Woman
Published: Sat, 07/02/11
X & Y COMMUNICATIONS NEWSLETTER FOR MEN
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WHAT'S INSIDE: You see a woman from afar who literally stops you
in your tracks. You try to remember that PERFECT opener...but youdraw a blank. Here's how to "fix" that situation on the spot.
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[Ed. Note: It's the weekend--and a LONG one in honor of July 4th if
you live here in the States. You can use what I'm about to tell
you IMMEDIATELY to meet more women between now and when the alarm
clock goes off on Tuesday morning. Enjoy...]
WHAT TO DO IF YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY TO A WOMAN
Yesterday I was on a coaching call with a really great guy who
recently moved here to the U.S. from the U.K.
As I had promised him would be the case, he's definitely figured
out that naturally speaking in the Geico gecko's accent is truly an
added plus when talking to American women.
But first, of course, he had to start actually TALKING to them
before any of that could be apparent to him.
(Man, if that isn't the biggest stumbling block that most of us
face, right?)
Well, my friend started sharing with me a few key practical
applications of several of the ideas that I and some new friends of
his who were good with women had given him.
For example, the other day there had been a woman who pulled up to
the convenience store where he was and gotten out of her car.
As it turns out, a friend of his had just SOLD a car exactly like
she was driving.
So it was easy to ask her, "Hey, did you buy that car from a guy
named Mark? He's a friend of mine and just sold a car like yours a
few weeks ago."
She responded cheerfully to his perfectly reasonable question, and
they had a great conversation from there.
I couldn't help but be reminded of a time not too long ago when I
was at one of those "smoothie" stores. When the girl ahead of me
in line picked up her order, I noticed that the concoction was
BRIGHT PINK.
"Wow", I said to her, "that stuff looks delicious, but only a WOMAN
could drink that. No guy would be caught DEAD sipping anything
that PINK. We're all stuck with the 'kiwi/pear' thing."
She laughed, and responded with something friendly, to the effect
of, "Yes, being a girl has its perks, right?"
Now, since I'm officially "retired" from getting women's phone
numbers that conversation didn't progress any further. But it
could have.
Chalk it all up to "research" on your behalf since I'm all about
sharing my best secrets with YOU nowadays, right?
And sure enough, here's a startling conclusion I've arrived at.
Ready?
The reason why most guys have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what to say to a
woman when the "chips are down" is because they are NOT
OBSERVANT...at all.
I mean, think about it.
What did my British friend and I have in common that worked well in
each of our respective scenarios I just shared with you?
If you said, "You had your friggin' EYES OPEN", you earn a gold
star.
If you think about it, that sounds perfectly obvious, doesn't it?
Simply PAY ATTENTION to what's going on in the moment when you spot
a beautiful woman instead of just fixating on the WOMAN HERSELF and
you'll very likely find that a WHOLE WORLD of conversation starters
abounds.
How do I know that this really is a very real stumbling block for
some guys?
Well, let's just say this. I work with guys ALL THE TIME on Online
Dating Success Packages who have a terrible time coming up with
something to write first e-mails to women about.
This is often the case even if the women has used the full 2000
words allotted by Match.com to talk on and on about "Who She Is And
Who She's Looking For".
Invariably, there are at least a dozen or two angles that any guy
could potentially work from in any given woman's online profile.
Having given all of this some thought, I have TWO THEORIES as to
why SO MANY of us get wadded up in frustration when confronted with
the opportunity to start a conversation with a beautiful woman.
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"Scot, my man, The Difference is fantastic! The new format is
perfect, at least for my learning style.
I noticed that you have included quite a few exemplary situations
to illustrate your concepts. This is key. The examples really
solidify the practical applications of the concepts you're
conveying.
The audio program regarding first email's was very enlightening.
It really cleared some things up for me.
Your program on 'overcoming fear of women online' is nothing short
of GENIUS, a real eye opener."
Michael (Las Vegas, NV)
Guys are already talking about The Difference. See for yourself at:
There are still two Fast Action Bonuses there for you...but they'll
be disappearing soon.
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First, I have this sneaking suspicion that we've been trained to
use canned "openers" SO MUCH in the world of men's dating advice
(especially online dating advice) that we really feel like we've
GOT to use them.
The crazy truth, however, is that it's TONS EASIER to watch and
observe than it is to fumble around trying to figure out which of
many "openers" you've memorized is best suited to any particular
situation.
Meanwhile, as we're lost in thought, the woman (and/or her online
profile) disappears from view as quickly as she showed up.
The second theory I have is that guys confuse being ANALYTICAL with
being OBSERVANT.
What I'm talking about here is NOT about picking apart every single
"if/then" situation before deciding what to say to a hottie when
you see her.
That invariably sends us into a useless loop of "analysis
paralysis", doesn't it?
When you get right down to it, not only does over-analysis cause us
to dwell on negative outcomes, it flat-out WASTES TIME.
Be being OBSERVANT, you're NOTICING something. It's more of a
"scanning" operation than an analytical one.
And the conversation it leads to is a FAR more natural one than any
contrived, stilted one brought about by an unoriginal "opener".
Think about it this way. Isn't the "Who Lies More Opener" or
anything similar really just a cheap, generic SUBSTITUTE for being
observant?
The guy who relies on "openers" is blatantly advertising that he
has ZERO creativity and in fact ZERO ability to think on his feet.
Those traits are NOT attractive to high quality women, are they?
"Opener Guy" is likely to bore a woman to tears, and therefore is
far from deserving what he wants.
Fortunately the solution to starting devastatingly effective
conversations with even the most attractive women is EASIER than
you think. Just OPEN YOUR EYES...and observe.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. If you enjoyed this newsletter, you'll love The Difference.
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X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of
life you are in. It's straight talk about the most creative
subjects, somehow encompassing character-based principles while
being neither too shy nor too judgmental to hit the important
things head on. The basic fluff you've heard a million times
isn't rehashed around here.
Enjoy!
Please also note that the information in this newsletter is for
entertainment purposes only and is not intended to constitute
"professional advice". You are responsible for your own decisions
in life (which we hope will include meeting more high quality
women).
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