[X&Y] "Let's Play", She Says...
Published: Fri, 09/23/11
X & Y COMMUNICATIONS NEWSLETTER FOR MEN
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WHAT'S INSIDE: Could you actually create more attraction on first
dates if you weren't so "grown up"? Hang in there with me on thisone...because it might make you re-think EVERYTHING.
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WOMEN...WHO CAN UNDERSTAND THEM?
YOU can, that's who.
Don't believe anyone who tells you that women are a "problem
wrapped in an enigma surrounded by a quandary."
Who knows how and why we've all been led to believe that, but it's
just NOT TRUE.
When you get inside a woman's head and find out what's going on in
there a whole new world opens up.
You know more about her wants and needs, and therefore have a
better handle on how to satisfy her.
You also find out how badly she really wants YOU to want her...and
therefore discover how to bring out the vixen in her.
It's like someone has "lifted the veil" and wiped the "just be
friends zone" from the map at the same time.
Yes, you can be the ONE man she's ever met who GETS IT, for a
change. Here's the way to be that guy from now on:
Chick Whispering is inspired by The Chick Whisperer podcast, and is
your roadmap to understanding women.
Included is the package is the Chick Whispering e-book and a
whopping TEN additional modules--each covering a specific angle on
approaching women.
Importantly, Chick Whispering is NOT to be confused with the
podcast itself. Those are still available on iTunes for you, and
always will be.
Chick Whispering is also NOT a "checklist" of rote items to
remember or a collection of psychological mumbo-jumbo.
Rather, it's all built around relating actual, real-world scenarios
and describing what's REALLY going on from a woman's perspective.
That way you'll get the hang of it in a real, practical sense in no
time flat:
Chick Whispering already delivers major "bang for the buck", no
doubt.
But right now I'm also going to include the combination to my
"secret vault" of retired episodes of The Chick Whisperer when you
snap up your copy of Chick Whispering.
That's the first nine episodes ever recorded, all in the previous
format that changed starting with Episode 10.
It's a $27 value, yours f-r-e-e when you get Chick Whispering
between now at midnight tomorrow night, PDT (GMT -7).
I'll send you the link automatically when you purchase...nice.
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"LET'S PLAY", SHE SAYS...
Today I'm going to share with you the first of three quick and
simple but devastatingly effective mindsets that will help you ace
first dates from now on.
To get the ball rolling, I want you to think back to around second
or third grade.
Your testosterone wasn't exactly raging yet. You may have had no
interest in girls at all around that time.
Then again, unless you had been banished to some private school for
boys you had to interact with them SOMETIMES, no matter what, right?
Deep down, you may have even enjoyed it, all the while having NO
IDEA what "sex" even was...or the significance of it, at least.
One other thing's for sure, though.
You ALSO hadn't been to any "sexual harassment" seminars, read a
whole lot on how masculinity is a "bad thing" and/or been jaded by
bad dating experiences, evil ex-girlfriends and/or ruthless job
stress.
So weirdly and perhaps paradoxically, you probably were--unbeknownst
to yourself at the time--a GENIUS with girls.
A "child prodigy", if you will.
That's right. You probably pulled their pigtails and teased them.
You probably told them they were "dumb" for not liking baseball.
When you found a frog in the schoolyard you caught it and showed it
to them...and they went away screaming (and giggling).
But the girls LOVED every minute of it...don't kid yourself.
That's why they tried to invite you to their "tea parties" and to
"dress up" time, and giggled when you recoiled in horror.
Maybe they even tried to kiss you...and you wiped it off and gave
them a dirty look.
But they intrigued you to no end because they were so DIFFERENT...and
WEIRD, huh?
Then over time, you hit adolescence...and suddenly the idea of oh,
say...seeing girls naked was MAGICAL.
And that's where the trouble started. Sexuality started having
power over your psyche.
If you're like most of us in this modern age of "delayed
adulthood", you didn't exactly get paired off with one of the girls
in your village and start making babies at age 12.
Nope. You had time to idealize the whole idea of sex...and to be
mystified by it.
Moreover, you started getting influenced by the "politics" of
sexual maturity...how you shouldn't "offend" women by showing
interest, or how women probably want a "woman with a penis" for a
boyfriend.
And as time went on, life got more serious. You had to get decent
grades in high school and make the team.
In college, you had to work hard to graduate or risk never getting
what you wanted in life. And you had to take on responsibility for
all of that yourself.
You then got a job and REALLY turned your stress levels up.
And weirdly, nowadays all of your interactions with the girls--who
are now full-grown women--are markedly different than they were back
in grade school.
You start a conversation with one and/or go on a first date, and
things just aren't so FUN and PLAYFUL as they were then
And make no mistake--adult women can be just as jaded and stressed
out as we are, right?
But wait a second, this is no joke. When y'all were kids things
really WERE less complicated and there was less pressure.
It's only when we get older--and are aware of and free to explore
sexual polarity in its fullness--that we ironically let LIFE
interfere with what naturally flowed so well as kids.
We go on dates and treat the other person across the table like a
"punching bag" to take out all of our stresses and aggressions on.
Maybe not literally so, but we sure do tend to rag on our exes,
what happened at work, our bosses, our finances or even the
opposite sex in general.
Further, we pile on so much stress over the possibility of "sexual
escalation" that we turn ourselves into a wadded-up mass of nerves.
And if we've lost respect for ourselves and/or for the opposite
gender we're CERTAINLY not exactly going make anyone we're on a
date with feel respected...and therefore safe in our presence.
What's more, we're not even exactly sure how to act AT ALL.
At the visceral level we instinctively KNOW we're men and they're
women...but because of how our masculinity has been beaten down in
today's culture we neuter ourselves and somehow expect sparks to
fly anyway.
Add it all up, and the crazy truth is that we very well could have
been BETTER with women at six or seven years old than we are now.
All because things got complicated.
What if you could show up on a date with a woman with the same
mindset you had back as a kid?
You know, the one that says, "let's play" instead of taking
everything so gunfighter seriously.
If you've ever seen the old movie "Big" with Tom Hanks, you've seen
a caricature of the type of brilliant effect this mindset can have
on women.
And yes...that concept really does carry over into real life.
For once, try to FORGET about whether or not she's going portray
any or all of those negative things you've seen in other women in
the past.
Decompress from a stressful day BEFORE you meet with her.
Ban any talk about ANYTHING that's a "downer" from the table...and
change the subject to something lighter if SHE starts going down
that trail.
And above all, STOP thinking so analytically about whether or not
you have any chance of sleeping with her or not.
Instead, show up ready to "play".
You had to grow up. And yes, you have to be a mature man.
But you don't ever have to LOSE the amazing wonder of sexual
polarity at its most basic level.
In fact, if you really think about it you're going to NEED the
foundation to build any other, deeper success with women on.
Go back and find it.
Tell her "Let's play."
If she's a particularly well-adjusted and feminine woman, you might
even take a chance and actually SAY THE WORDS...just to kill the
pressure.
She'll follow your lead...and you'll find you'd almost forgotten how
much fun it was to be one of the boys in third grade.
She might also have forgotten how much fun it was to feel like a
little girl.
Only now, the two of you get to be adults also...
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. Next time we'll talk about an EXTRA cool way you can LEAD on
first dates...in a way that most guys NEVER figure out.
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