[X&Y] What To Do If You're Not The "Life Of The Party"
Published: Sun, 07/01/12
X & Y COMMUNICATIONS NEWSLETTER FOR MEN
=====
IN THIS EDITION: Do you think that as an introverted type of
guy the women aren't going to go for you as much as some "party
guy"? If you've ever let that thought creep into your head, read
on...
=====
SOLID, NEW IDEAS FOR WHERE AND HOW TO MEET WOMEN
After yesterday's newsletter I got more than the usual number
of comments.
Several of you mentioned that even though you weren't necessarily
hitting on throngs of debutantes, you did notice that women tend
to travel in packs (although they're hopefully more like "foxes"
than "wolves", natch).
How do you handle even the more TYPICAL situations like that?
Well, below I've got a nice solution for you guys out there who
might not have the same personality type as a game show host.
But before I get to that, I also want to remind you that bars,
clubs and big parties are NOT the only places you can meet women.
Far from it.
In fact, if you want to arm yourself with an all-out arsenal
of skills you can use to meet women anyplace, anytime and
anywhere I recommend these guys:
http://www.scotrecommends.com/daygame
I've met them in person and can vouch first-hand that they
know their stuff.
Take a look and be inspired. They're normal guys like us who've
literally cracked the code to meeting women during the day:
http://www.scotrecommends.com/daygame
=====
WHAT TO DO IF YOU'RE NOT THE "LIFE OF THE PARTY"
When it comes to dating advice for guys, how many times have we
heard about the importance of being the "alpha" man in a room full
of people?
After all, women are magically drawn to confidence and leadership,
aren't they? And a charismatic personality is generally understood
to kick the attraction potential into hyperdrive. Right?
So we as men are bombarded with continuous tips and tricks on how
to stand out. Attraction appears to be predicated upon learning to
"banter" and be a "storyteller".
And if you have the personality to carry all of this, there's no
question it's powerful stuff.
But there's a problem.
Not everyone has the same personality type, do they?
As long as there yet exists a "strong silent type" persona that
carries archetypal mystique in the imaginations of certain women,
the reality shall remain that there just isn't a blanket solution
when it comes to identifying one single and all-conquering "type"
that is sure to attract "all women".
To illustrate this further, consider how "cocky/funny" is powerfully
effective stuff...but only with women who find it, well, powerfully
effective.
Some genuinely attractive women just don't resonate with it for
whatever reason. That's life.
But wait a minute. How then is the "strong silent guy" supposed to
"stand out" in the loud, flamboyant world of "night time game"
where appearing "larger than life" rules if he isn't up to the
"peacocking" challenge?
The truth is a guy with an introverted personality may have
incredible potential for igniting attraction in certain women.
But how can he effectively convey that in a bar full of people?
That's a good question, and I've been asked it more than once
within the past couple of weeks.
In offering a potential answer to it, let's focus on a key scenario
in a bar/club setting.
Almost always, night time pick-up strategy begins with "opening a
set" (By the way, don't complain to me--I didn't invent the lingo).
This means having the flat-out confidence and energy to be a part
of a larger group of people and TAKE CHARGE of it.
The guy who controls the mood and the flow of a group of people
(be they all women or mixed company) is the guy who is best
positioned for creating attraction among the women of that group.
This makes sense. Once you've mastered "working the crowd", as
the best stand-up comedians are known for, you can often find
yourself in the envious position of taking your pick as to
which woman you'd like to "single out" for a more private
conversation.
Common wisdom says this requires a gregarious personality of the
most outgoing sort.
Not so fast.
The most powerful boardroom chairmen--and indeed the most effective
U.S. Presidents--tend to have something in common when it comes to
group dynamics.
And I believe it's a valuable secret that introverted guys can
learn from when it comes to winning over a room full of people.
Their secret is this: they are fantastic listeners. What's more,
they are equally adept at INVOLVING OTHERS and evaluating opinions.
John F. Kennedy in particular was known for being able to hold a
group of high level dignitaries and/or cabinet members at absolute
rapt attention.
Bear in mind these groups were typically composed of men with
immense egos.
Yet, JFK actually said relatively little.
Instead, he urged involvement from particular individuals at the
table with him and paid full attention to their input.
When any one person had completed his thought, he would quickly
hand off the subject to someone else. Often he would enact the
transition by simply asking another person to "continue the thought"
or "offer his or her opinion".
Invariably, the culmination of all this was a great desire on the
part of those at the table to finally hear Kennedy's word on the
matter.
Not once having elbowed his way into the conversation to exert his
views, by the time he spoke all eyes were trained upon his and all
ears were hanging on his every word.
A man of great character may be confident, masculine and very much
a leader. But they might not necessarily be "the life of the party".
The untold truth, however, is that he can indeed emerge as the most
overwhelmingly attractive man in the group even at a bar or club...
if he can do what JFK could.
Lead. Listen. Care. Earn respect and in the process you will
have the full attention of some high-quality women.
Will this work always? Will it be effective everywhere?
Nothing is...not even the more mainstream "game" tactics, right?
But if you are an introverted man, what we've discussed here today
is one serious and more "natural" alternative to a persona that doesn't
fit.
By the way, whatever your personality type try JFK's attitude on
for size at work sometime. Watch your career gain forward mobility
as a direct result.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. Remember, you really can (and should) meet women ANYWHERE...
not just when you're out at night:
http://www.scotrecommends.com/daygame
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2012. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.
=====
IN THIS EDITION: Do you think that as an introverted type of
guy the women aren't going to go for you as much as some "party
guy"? If you've ever let that thought creep into your head, read
on...
=====
SOLID, NEW IDEAS FOR WHERE AND HOW TO MEET WOMEN
After yesterday's newsletter I got more than the usual number
of comments.
Several of you mentioned that even though you weren't necessarily
hitting on throngs of debutantes, you did notice that women tend
to travel in packs (although they're hopefully more like "foxes"
than "wolves", natch).
How do you handle even the more TYPICAL situations like that?
Well, below I've got a nice solution for you guys out there who
might not have the same personality type as a game show host.
But before I get to that, I also want to remind you that bars,
clubs and big parties are NOT the only places you can meet women.
Far from it.
In fact, if you want to arm yourself with an all-out arsenal
of skills you can use to meet women anyplace, anytime and
anywhere I recommend these guys:
http://www.scotrecommends.com/daygame
I've met them in person and can vouch first-hand that they
know their stuff.
Take a look and be inspired. They're normal guys like us who've
literally cracked the code to meeting women during the day:
http://www.scotrecommends.com/daygame
=====
WHAT TO DO IF YOU'RE NOT THE "LIFE OF THE PARTY"
When it comes to dating advice for guys, how many times have we
heard about the importance of being the "alpha" man in a room full
of people?
After all, women are magically drawn to confidence and leadership,
aren't they? And a charismatic personality is generally understood
to kick the attraction potential into hyperdrive. Right?
So we as men are bombarded with continuous tips and tricks on how
to stand out. Attraction appears to be predicated upon learning to
"banter" and be a "storyteller".
And if you have the personality to carry all of this, there's no
question it's powerful stuff.
But there's a problem.
Not everyone has the same personality type, do they?
As long as there yet exists a "strong silent type" persona that
carries archetypal mystique in the imaginations of certain women,
the reality shall remain that there just isn't a blanket solution
when it comes to identifying one single and all-conquering "type"
that is sure to attract "all women".
To illustrate this further, consider how "cocky/funny" is powerfully
effective stuff...but only with women who find it, well, powerfully
effective.
Some genuinely attractive women just don't resonate with it for
whatever reason. That's life.
But wait a minute. How then is the "strong silent guy" supposed to
"stand out" in the loud, flamboyant world of "night time game"
where appearing "larger than life" rules if he isn't up to the
"peacocking" challenge?
The truth is a guy with an introverted personality may have
incredible potential for igniting attraction in certain women.
But how can he effectively convey that in a bar full of people?
That's a good question, and I've been asked it more than once
within the past couple of weeks.
In offering a potential answer to it, let's focus on a key scenario
in a bar/club setting.
Almost always, night time pick-up strategy begins with "opening a
set" (By the way, don't complain to me--I didn't invent the lingo).
This means having the flat-out confidence and energy to be a part
of a larger group of people and TAKE CHARGE of it.
The guy who controls the mood and the flow of a group of people
(be they all women or mixed company) is the guy who is best
positioned for creating attraction among the women of that group.
This makes sense. Once you've mastered "working the crowd", as
the best stand-up comedians are known for, you can often find
yourself in the envious position of taking your pick as to
which woman you'd like to "single out" for a more private
conversation.
Common wisdom says this requires a gregarious personality of the
most outgoing sort.
Not so fast.
The most powerful boardroom chairmen--and indeed the most effective
U.S. Presidents--tend to have something in common when it comes to
group dynamics.
And I believe it's a valuable secret that introverted guys can
learn from when it comes to winning over a room full of people.
Their secret is this: they are fantastic listeners. What's more,
they are equally adept at INVOLVING OTHERS and evaluating opinions.
John F. Kennedy in particular was known for being able to hold a
group of high level dignitaries and/or cabinet members at absolute
rapt attention.
Bear in mind these groups were typically composed of men with
immense egos.
Yet, JFK actually said relatively little.
Instead, he urged involvement from particular individuals at the
table with him and paid full attention to their input.
When any one person had completed his thought, he would quickly
hand off the subject to someone else. Often he would enact the
transition by simply asking another person to "continue the thought"
or "offer his or her opinion".
Invariably, the culmination of all this was a great desire on the
part of those at the table to finally hear Kennedy's word on the
matter.
Not once having elbowed his way into the conversation to exert his
views, by the time he spoke all eyes were trained upon his and all
ears were hanging on his every word.
A man of great character may be confident, masculine and very much
a leader. But they might not necessarily be "the life of the party".
The untold truth, however, is that he can indeed emerge as the most
overwhelmingly attractive man in the group even at a bar or club...
if he can do what JFK could.
Lead. Listen. Care. Earn respect and in the process you will
have the full attention of some high-quality women.
Will this work always? Will it be effective everywhere?
Nothing is...not even the more mainstream "game" tactics, right?
But if you are an introverted man, what we've discussed here today
is one serious and more "natural" alternative to a persona that doesn't
fit.
By the way, whatever your personality type try JFK's attitude on
for size at work sometime. Watch your career gain forward mobility
as a direct result.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. Remember, you really can (and should) meet women ANYWHERE...
not just when you're out at night:
http://www.scotrecommends.com/daygame
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2012. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.