[X&Y] Do Women REALLY Know What They Want In A Man?
Published: Sun, 07/22/12
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IN THIS EDITION: When a woman talks about what she likes or
dislikes in a man, can we take what she's saying at face value...ordo women really have no idea what they want in a guy?
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DON'T WORK OUT WITHOUT THIS...
I get a lot of e-mails from guys who have some serious "limiting
beliefs" when it comes to what women look for in a man's physique.
For better or worse, those beliefs are usually DEAD WRONG.
Well, my good friend Brad Howard has teamed up with some
world-class fitness experts to come up with a REAL, SCIENTIFIC
formula for exactly what body type TURNS WOMEN ON.
It's called the "Adonis Index":
And when you click that link above, you're going to find a slick
calculator to help you figure out your own "Adonis Index".
Now hey, it is absolutely, positively true that you can have
amazing women in your life WITH or WITHOUT being in top condition
physically.
But I'll tell you what, if you ARE choking down protein shakes and
pounding the gym on a daily basis to get yourself in shape,
shouldn't you at least know whether or not what you are shooting
for is going to make you MORE or LESS attractive to most women?
The answer to that question may sound obvious...but according to
Brad, A LOT of guys are MISSING THE POINT.
And based on that alone, I'd say taking a look at Brad's calculator
is a great move:
Brad's calculator got me thinking about the whole idea of what
women tend to REALLY want in a man, which in turn reminded me of
conversation or two I've had recently. Read on...
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DO WOMEN REALLY KNOW WHAT THEY WANT IN A MAN?
There's a popular teaching going around these days, particularly in
Seduction Community circles.
Basically, a lot of guys believe that no guy in his right mind
should EVER get ANY kind of dating advice from women.
"After all", so the story goes, "they have no idea what they really
want."
This fascinates me.
On one hand, I fully get how this sentiment would come about.
After all, there are quite a number of lady "dating gurus" teaching
women how to trick guys into relationships. After all, we as men
obviously (in their mind's eye, at least) "only want one thing",
and a relationship isn't it.
And, of course, there's the age-old meme that women want "nice
guys", when every "nice guy" out there has been slapped with the
"Just Be Friends" talk ad nauseam.
But on the other hand, I question whether an entire gender can
fully and consistently wander around the desert aimlessly, having
no Earthly idea what it wants out of MOTOS (members of the opposite
sex).
And when it comes right down to it, I DO think women are PERFECTLY
CAPABLE of recognizing--and articulating--what they want in a man.
No doubt, if you've been hanging out here for more than a month or
so, it should be obvious to you that I value women's opinions
regarding what they want in a man.
I've done video interviews with them in the past to that effect.
And I've never been shy about inviting "lady gurus" to sit in
with me to talk shop on the podcast.
And then there's that OTHER "lady guru"...some chick named Emily
McKay. I've become fairly familiar with her opinions on men over
the past few years.
So yes, based on what I've seen, what women TELL you they want in a
man will indeed bear itself out in reality...USUALLY.
Ha...got you there, didn't I?
But careful. We shouldn't be so quick to paint women as uniquely
fickle and clueless in this area. The same sometimes holds true
for us guys also, doesn't it?
As a matter of fact, the point of the whole matter is that a
regardless of gender, one's taste in MOTOS is not exactly a BLACK
and WHITE issue.
Consider, for example, how you may have spent your youth
daydreaming of getting a tall, leggy supermodel of a blondie in
your life someday...only later to find yourself with a 5'1 former
gymnast with raven black hair.
And you may indeed have been thrilled by that outcome.
Or maybe you always thought you wanted a woman who wasn't exactly a
"shrinking violet"...until you actually found yourself in a
relationship with a woman who challenged your every thought. Then
you reconsidered.
And see, that's the thing: Man or woman, I believe there are TWO
very distinct areas where our opinions on what we want or don't
want in MOTOS is very much subject to change.
The first is when our preference is built on PURE FANTASY rather
than OBJECTIVE EXPERIENCE (read: "reality").
A petite woman may SAY she wants a man who is 6'4". And when she
gets in a relationship with such a guy, she MIGHT be blissfully
happy.
Then again, she MAY discover that there are some aspects of that
arrangement she hadn't thought through ahead of time.
Or perhaps there's a guy (or three) out there who just crested the
"Big Four-Oh" and is jonesing for an 18- or 19-year-old girl to
date (yes...he said "girl").
Show me a man who longs to date 'em that young, and I'll often show
you a guy who HASN'T done so.
Why? Well, because someone should be PAYING HIM to babysit...
that's why.
By the way, as an aside here, note that a TON of "limiting beliefs"
commonly found on both sides of the gender ledger are often driven
by PURE FANTASY, as supposed (or is that "imposed"?) upon the
GENERAL POPULATION by today's media-driven culture.
Crazy isn't it?
But moving on, the second instance where what we SAY we want from
MOTOS is subject to change is when an EXCEPTIONAL human being comes
along who "breaks the mold".
You see, even if objective experience has crafted a very real,
genuine preference in us; we just cannot logically dismiss the
possibility--however remote we see it--that the "right person" is
going to come along who challenges every thought, opinion
and--yes--experience we've ever had.
After all, we as human beings are individuals. And with that
individuality comes the wonderful, magical ability for any person
at any given time to exceed the capacities of our imaginations.
So let's say you have a specific type in mind, and along comes a
woman who breaks every blasted rule you have for who you're
typically attracted to and compatible with...or the subjective ones,
at least, right?
Are you settling if you select her? Of course not. You simply
raised the bar in a way you never expected...and in a way that only
a certain, magical woman ever could.
By the way, make no mistake: No matter what YOUR "limiting belief"
is, as long as you are a "Big Four" man doing the best with what
you have, there are women out there for whom YOU will be a "magical
exception" also.
Sound Pollyanna-ish to you? Stop kidding yourself. As sure as YOU
have found yourself attracted to women without "logical"
explanation, YOU can indeed defy "logic" in a woman's mind. Count
on it.
So finally then, what about when you REALLY CAN expect when women
know exactly what they're talking about when it comes to their
taste in a man?
Well, essentially, that would be EVERY TIME other than those
instances I've presented above.
For example, if a woman has been out with her fair share of guys, I
think she is speaking from a position of authority when she tells
you what will and will not lead to a second date with her.
"Magical exceptions", after all, are NOT common.
I think it's ESPECIALLY important to recognize that when either YOU
OR A WOMAN express a like or dislike for a VERY CLEAR, OBJECTIVE
thing, it should be taken at face value.
To dismiss someone's sentiments toward that which IS black and
white is essentially to either utterly disrespect someone's common
intelligence and/or to stick your head in the sand due to personal
insecurity and or flat-out stubbornness.
So yes, when you say you don't like women who are raging
alcoholics, I think it's a safe assumption to believe you mean
it...at face value.
And yes, when a woman says she'd rather a guy man up, pick up the
phone and call her rather than hiding behind a bunch of text
messages, I think it's a safe assumption that she meant that too.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. It's heating up over on Facebook. Why not "like" the page and
join the conversation?
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