[X&Y] 6 Lame Excuses For Staying With The Wrong Woman
Published: Wed, 07/18/12
X & Y COMMUNICATIONS NEWSLETTER FOR MEN
=====
IN THIS EDITION: It's shockingly easy to end up in a relationship
with the WRONG woman. So why can it be so hard to hit the "eject"
button and GET OUT?
=====
A REAL, TANGIBLE WAY TO FINALLY BE FREE FROM THE RAT RACE
Want to know how I personally dumped my "day job" and made
it work as a dating coach?
Well, it definitely all started with having a passion for making
sure guys like you realized the same level of success with women
that I've figured out how to enjoy.
And there's no question that having a knack for imparting that
sort of information always helps.
But without the Internet, I'd have to depend on a yellow page
ad and "word of mouth" in order to scrape up whatever business
I could locally.
And even then, I'd probably have to sit in an office all day
and trade "time for money" in order to survive instead of coaching
the number of guys I really WANT to coach.
Hey...wait a minute...I just realized something. That's what
almost all doctors, lawyers, counselors and Indian chiefs
actually DO, isn't it?
It's the 21st century, gentlemen.
You flat-out don't have to play by the old-skool rules of
how to make a living.
I'm living proof that you can have a worldwide audience, travel
the world and throw away your alarm clock--all through the magic
of what's known as "information products".
You know, information products. I can put my heart and soul into
programs like The Leading Man and The Master Plan ONE TIME, and
the end result benefits thousands of guys for YEARS.
After I sent yesterday's e-mail telling you about how Eben Pagan
(aka David DeAngelo) has FINALLY put together a step-by-step
training program on exactly how to build "information products"
of your very own, I've gotten a TON of feedback from you.
If you haven't yet seen what Eben's got going on, here's the link:
http://www.scotrecommends.com/eben
I could use cliches like "life-changing" to describe the opportunity
available to you here. But it's probably much more meaningful to
you to simply say that THIS is the guy who influenced me personally
to GO FOR IT and do what I'm doing today.
It's worked out pretty well, I must say. And at the risk of dropping
another cliche, "if I can do it, you can do it".
Take a look and see if this just might be the right thing at exactly
the right time for you:
http://www.scotrecommends.com/eben
I need to tell you ahead of time. This is no "$27 e-book". This
is an entire, full-on, comprehensive education on exactly how to
succeed online with information products.
Be sure to watch the entire video and fully grasp everything
that Eben's including in in this program.
=====
6 LAME EXCUSES FOR STAYING WITH THE WRONG WOMAN
By now you know that we talk a lot around here about deserving what
you want. By definition, this means becoming the kind person who
can attract the MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex) we dream about.
But importantly, it ALSO means we have to know how to RECOGNIZE
great ones and ELIMINATE the wrong ones from our lives. Then and
ONLY then do we have a clear shot at entering that magical realm
affectionately known as "full control over one's dating life".
Once we get over personal issues related to confidence (e.g. "Great
women? That's for other guys...they'll never want ME.") and/or
flat-out laziness it's time to take inventory regarding the kind of
women we as guys have been inviting into our lives.
As you've heard me talk about before, all too many guys get into the
position of waking up one day and finding themselves married to a
woman they didn't even CHOOSE.
How on earth does that happen?
Well, it all begins when they hook up with someone out of pure
convenience or even coincidence who happened to like them some.
But what perpetuates it is the simple truth that even when a guy
finds himself in such a mediocre situation, he STILL doesn't end
things.
Below are six lame-o (but unfortunately very common) excuses that
we as guys use to fool ourselves into staying in relationships that
are far from fulfilling.
And really all of what we're talking about today is equal opportunity,
so any ladies out there listen up. By the way--FAIR WARNING--I'm
about to lay it on the line in a starkly forthright manner, so get
ready.
1) "But The Sex Is Pretty Good"
Man, if this isn't the battle cry of the sex-focused yet desperate
man. The insidious thought here is that if the breakup happens,
he isn't going to be "getting any"...maybe for a LONG time.
This isn't merely shortsighted, it completely lacks vision
altogether.
Often the same guys who regard "sexual variety" as an exciting
thought are the exact ones who stay with the same woman
just because their sex life might suffer if they don't.
I'm not sure whether this is "oxymoronic" or just "moronic". But
such are the tricks a guy's mind can play on him when sex alone
is the focus.
I don't care who the woman is, after you have had sex with her a
number of times you are going to know your way around and need
something MUCH deeper to sustain a relationship.
Need proof?
Okay, for all you "one handed web surfers" out there, find the
most smoking hottie on the web you can find. Get all the video clips
and pics you can handle. How long is it going to be until you are
bored and looking for the next one?
I give you fifteen minutes...tops. Real life is no different. If
it's all about the sex, your priorities are messed up.
By the way, there's another angle to this. If you are staying with
a woman because the sex is particularly good, I've got news for
you. Women tend to respond to a man's leadership in the bedroom.
Great sex starts with YOU. Once you can ignite feminine passion,
you'll find that women respond.
Then again, if you are "sex-focused yet desperate man" as mentioned,
you have a very real point in believing you "got lucky" if the
woman you are currently with is sexually exciting.
2) "But She's The HOTTEST Chick I've Ever Been With"
This concept follows the one above very closely. When a guy who is
used to dating mediocre women finds himself with a particularly hot
one, it's disarmingly simple to fall into a trap of believing he'll
never in a million years be able to repeat such good fortune.
Now, once the woman picks up on this one of three things can
happen. First, his insecurity will cause her to realize she's way
out of his league and the breakup will take care of itself...courtesy
of her.
Second, she may be an outstanding woman of all-around character
to match her external beauty and everyone's happy--and rightly so.
BUT...she may also opportunistically proceed to take full advantage
of the situation and steamroll the guy into oblivion. This third
situation is the one I'm most interested in for now.
What's the cure for letting go of the hottest woman you've ever
been with when you know she's poisonous?
Easy. If you can do this once, you can do it again.
How's that for an uncomplicated answer?
It's all a matter of personal confidence. It was not a fluke that
she was attracted enough to you to be with you.
Other women will feel the same way...and if you continue to build
upon your masculine character and confidence level you'll find that
you may even RAISE THE BAR.
I've lost count of the number of guys I know who have finally
kicked the wrong (but hot) woman out of their lives only to slap
themselves upside the head sooner than later for not having done
so months (or even years) earlier.
3) "I Don't Want To Make Her Cry...I'd Feel Like A Bad Guy"
Granted, most guys don't like to make women cry. And this isn't
even about women being "emotional manipulators" most of the time.
We as guys do this to ourselves, simply because we want to avoid
something that is unpleasant and will perhaps cause some sense of
guilt.
The truth is that if the breakup needs to happen, putting an
upsetting moment off is only increasing the potential agony later.
Imagine the tears if you are headed to divorce court years from
now...with little kids in the balance.
4) "Aw Man...I'd Have To Start Completely Over"
Okay, there can indeed be some insecurity at issue here. But
really this is usually all about flat-out laziness.
Even if the relationship falls short of expectations it's often
just way to COMFORTABLE to stick around. Otherwise, a guy has
to go out and meet some other woman, go through the whole "get
to know you" process, meet the parents again, build another whole
history, etc.
And why would all of that sound like drudgery as opposed to
something that's actually exciting?
Truth be told, staying in stale relationships can in these cases
literally be a matter of continuing to wake up doing exactly what
went on yesterday rather than TAKING ACTION. That's right...pure
PROCRASTINATION.
Not surprisingly, many guys report a feeling of having had a
"weight lifted off their shoulders" when they finally make the
right call in these situations and break things off. Go figure.
By the way, for most people who deserve what they want it takes
way, way less time to make a real, valid connection with someone
new than they think.
I've personally met someone online in the morning, gone to coffee
in the afternoon and soon shared a mutual feeling of "having known
each other for ten years".
Knowing that's a fully replicable scenario can take the edge off
of having to "start over", huh?
5) "It's Just A Phase...We'll Figure It Out And Get Through It"
Also known as "denial".
So you think that an inability to get along, be sexually compatible
and/or share a common core belief system is going to "change over
time"? You're deluding yourself.
And you're in especially deep yogurt if she's telling you that
"having a baby" will "bring you closer together".
Don't shout me down for telling the truth. It never ceases to
amaze me how I can repeatedly encounter couples in public who can't
stand each other...and they aren't even married.
And if they ever DO actually get married, it might all be because
the bride wanted to throw a big party and be a princess for a day.
They'll figure out how to live life together later...I guess.
6) "She Just Has This Way Of Talking Me Out Of It"
I'll tell you, some women are world-class expert salespeople.
Their determination is impressive at times. Impressive enough to
cause you to keep her around, perhaps even after you've openly
expressed a desire to move on.
This can present itself through such classic statements as: "I
just haven't been myself lately...give me a chance", "How can
you throw away something so GOOD?", and "You just don't know what
you want yet--you'll wake up and see how great I am for you soon."
The, of course, there's my personal least-favorite, the infamous:
"What? Do you think you're EVER going to find someone else as good
as me?".
Yeah, yeah. See #2 above. That's manipulation at it's worst.
For all six of the examples above, another sentiment usually
applies and is common to each. That's the whole notion of, "Hey,
there's always someone out there worse off than I am, right?"
This is not the mindframe of someone who regards him or herself as
deserving what he or she wants, is it?
The bottom line is this: He (or she) who stays with someone long
after the breakup probably should have happened SETTLES.
And "settling" invariably leads to bitterness. The one who feels
he or she could have "done better" has his or her nose pressed to
the glass looking out at "greener grass" elsewhere...probably with a
nauseous feeling all the while.
But what of the person who has been "settled for"? Is he or she
doing cartwheels over his or her good fortune? Not on your life...
the feeling of not being wanted by your "significant other" is one
of the most empty, humiliating and degrading feelings imaginable.
The truth is EVERYONE SUFFERS when people SETTLE.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. Yes, I still really enjoy doing live coaching.
almost all doctors, lawyers, counselors and Indian chiefs
actually DO, isn't it?
It's the 21st century, gentlemen.
You flat-out don't have to play by the old-skool rules of
how to make a living.
I'm living proof that you can have a worldwide audience, travel
the world and throw away your alarm clock--all through the magic
of what's known as "information products".
You know, information products. I can put my heart and soul into
programs like The Leading Man and The Master Plan ONE TIME, and
the end result benefits thousands of guys for YEARS.
After I sent yesterday's e-mail telling you about how Eben Pagan
(aka David DeAngelo) has FINALLY put together a step-by-step
training program on exactly how to build "information products"
of your very own, I've gotten a TON of feedback from you.
If you haven't yet seen what Eben's got going on, here's the link:
http://www.scotrecommends.com/eben
I could use cliches like "life-changing" to describe the opportunity
available to you here. But it's probably much more meaningful to
you to simply say that THIS is the guy who influenced me personally
to GO FOR IT and do what I'm doing today.
It's worked out pretty well, I must say. And at the risk of dropping
another cliche, "if I can do it, you can do it".
Take a look and see if this just might be the right thing at exactly
the right time for you:
http://www.scotrecommends.com/eben
I need to tell you ahead of time. This is no "$27 e-book". This
is an entire, full-on, comprehensive education on exactly how to
succeed online with information products.
Be sure to watch the entire video and fully grasp everything
that Eben's including in in this program.
=====
6 LAME EXCUSES FOR STAYING WITH THE WRONG WOMAN
By now you know that we talk a lot around here about deserving what
you want. By definition, this means becoming the kind person who
can attract the MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex) we dream about.
But importantly, it ALSO means we have to know how to RECOGNIZE
great ones and ELIMINATE the wrong ones from our lives. Then and
ONLY then do we have a clear shot at entering that magical realm
affectionately known as "full control over one's dating life".
Once we get over personal issues related to confidence (e.g. "Great
women? That's for other guys...they'll never want ME.") and/or
flat-out laziness it's time to take inventory regarding the kind of
women we as guys have been inviting into our lives.
As you've heard me talk about before, all too many guys get into the
position of waking up one day and finding themselves married to a
woman they didn't even CHOOSE.
How on earth does that happen?
Well, it all begins when they hook up with someone out of pure
convenience or even coincidence who happened to like them some.
But what perpetuates it is the simple truth that even when a guy
finds himself in such a mediocre situation, he STILL doesn't end
things.
Below are six lame-o (but unfortunately very common) excuses that
we as guys use to fool ourselves into staying in relationships that
are far from fulfilling.
And really all of what we're talking about today is equal opportunity,
so any ladies out there listen up. By the way--FAIR WARNING--I'm
about to lay it on the line in a starkly forthright manner, so get
ready.
1) "But The Sex Is Pretty Good"
Man, if this isn't the battle cry of the sex-focused yet desperate
man. The insidious thought here is that if the breakup happens,
he isn't going to be "getting any"...maybe for a LONG time.
This isn't merely shortsighted, it completely lacks vision
altogether.
Often the same guys who regard "sexual variety" as an exciting
thought are the exact ones who stay with the same woman
just because their sex life might suffer if they don't.
I'm not sure whether this is "oxymoronic" or just "moronic". But
such are the tricks a guy's mind can play on him when sex alone
is the focus.
I don't care who the woman is, after you have had sex with her a
number of times you are going to know your way around and need
something MUCH deeper to sustain a relationship.
Need proof?
Okay, for all you "one handed web surfers" out there, find the
most smoking hottie on the web you can find. Get all the video clips
and pics you can handle. How long is it going to be until you are
bored and looking for the next one?
I give you fifteen minutes...tops. Real life is no different. If
it's all about the sex, your priorities are messed up.
By the way, there's another angle to this. If you are staying with
a woman because the sex is particularly good, I've got news for
you. Women tend to respond to a man's leadership in the bedroom.
Great sex starts with YOU. Once you can ignite feminine passion,
you'll find that women respond.
Then again, if you are "sex-focused yet desperate man" as mentioned,
you have a very real point in believing you "got lucky" if the
woman you are currently with is sexually exciting.
2) "But She's The HOTTEST Chick I've Ever Been With"
This concept follows the one above very closely. When a guy who is
used to dating mediocre women finds himself with a particularly hot
one, it's disarmingly simple to fall into a trap of believing he'll
never in a million years be able to repeat such good fortune.
Now, once the woman picks up on this one of three things can
happen. First, his insecurity will cause her to realize she's way
out of his league and the breakup will take care of itself...courtesy
of her.
Second, she may be an outstanding woman of all-around character
to match her external beauty and everyone's happy--and rightly so.
BUT...she may also opportunistically proceed to take full advantage
of the situation and steamroll the guy into oblivion. This third
situation is the one I'm most interested in for now.
What's the cure for letting go of the hottest woman you've ever
been with when you know she's poisonous?
Easy. If you can do this once, you can do it again.
How's that for an uncomplicated answer?
It's all a matter of personal confidence. It was not a fluke that
she was attracted enough to you to be with you.
Other women will feel the same way...and if you continue to build
upon your masculine character and confidence level you'll find that
you may even RAISE THE BAR.
I've lost count of the number of guys I know who have finally
kicked the wrong (but hot) woman out of their lives only to slap
themselves upside the head sooner than later for not having done
so months (or even years) earlier.
3) "I Don't Want To Make Her Cry...I'd Feel Like A Bad Guy"
Granted, most guys don't like to make women cry. And this isn't
even about women being "emotional manipulators" most of the time.
We as guys do this to ourselves, simply because we want to avoid
something that is unpleasant and will perhaps cause some sense of
guilt.
The truth is that if the breakup needs to happen, putting an
upsetting moment off is only increasing the potential agony later.
Imagine the tears if you are headed to divorce court years from
now...with little kids in the balance.
4) "Aw Man...I'd Have To Start Completely Over"
Okay, there can indeed be some insecurity at issue here. But
really this is usually all about flat-out laziness.
Even if the relationship falls short of expectations it's often
just way to COMFORTABLE to stick around. Otherwise, a guy has
to go out and meet some other woman, go through the whole "get
to know you" process, meet the parents again, build another whole
history, etc.
And why would all of that sound like drudgery as opposed to
something that's actually exciting?
Truth be told, staying in stale relationships can in these cases
literally be a matter of continuing to wake up doing exactly what
went on yesterday rather than TAKING ACTION. That's right...pure
PROCRASTINATION.
Not surprisingly, many guys report a feeling of having had a
"weight lifted off their shoulders" when they finally make the
right call in these situations and break things off. Go figure.
By the way, for most people who deserve what they want it takes
way, way less time to make a real, valid connection with someone
new than they think.
I've personally met someone online in the morning, gone to coffee
in the afternoon and soon shared a mutual feeling of "having known
each other for ten years".
Knowing that's a fully replicable scenario can take the edge off
of having to "start over", huh?
5) "It's Just A Phase...We'll Figure It Out And Get Through It"
Also known as "denial".
So you think that an inability to get along, be sexually compatible
and/or share a common core belief system is going to "change over
time"? You're deluding yourself.
And you're in especially deep yogurt if she's telling you that
"having a baby" will "bring you closer together".
Don't shout me down for telling the truth. It never ceases to
amaze me how I can repeatedly encounter couples in public who can't
stand each other...and they aren't even married.
And if they ever DO actually get married, it might all be because
the bride wanted to throw a big party and be a princess for a day.
They'll figure out how to live life together later...I guess.
6) "She Just Has This Way Of Talking Me Out Of It"
I'll tell you, some women are world-class expert salespeople.
Their determination is impressive at times. Impressive enough to
cause you to keep her around, perhaps even after you've openly
expressed a desire to move on.
This can present itself through such classic statements as: "I
just haven't been myself lately...give me a chance", "How can
you throw away something so GOOD?", and "You just don't know what
you want yet--you'll wake up and see how great I am for you soon."
The, of course, there's my personal least-favorite, the infamous:
"What? Do you think you're EVER going to find someone else as good
as me?".
Yeah, yeah. See #2 above. That's manipulation at it's worst.
For all six of the examples above, another sentiment usually
applies and is common to each. That's the whole notion of, "Hey,
there's always someone out there worse off than I am, right?"
This is not the mindframe of someone who regards him or herself as
deserving what he or she wants, is it?
The bottom line is this: He (or she) who stays with someone long
after the breakup probably should have happened SETTLES.
And "settling" invariably leads to bitterness. The one who feels
he or she could have "done better" has his or her nose pressed to
the glass looking out at "greener grass" elsewhere...probably with a
nauseous feeling all the while.
But what of the person who has been "settled for"? Is he or she
doing cartwheels over his or her good fortune? Not on your life...
the feeling of not being wanted by your "significant other" is one
of the most empty, humiliating and degrading feelings imaginable.
The truth is EVERYONE SUFFERS when people SETTLE.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. Yes, I still really enjoy doing live coaching.
Do you believe your challenges with women are unique? If so,
and you are committed to deserving what you want, then put
and you are committed to deserving what you want, then put
me to work for YOU:
http://www.dating-coaches.com/
If you're like the vast majority of men I've worked with over the
years you'll achieve greater success than you've ever imagined
more quickly than you thought possible, and you'll never look back.
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2012. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.
http://www.dating-coaches.com/
If you're like the vast majority of men I've worked with over the
years you'll achieve greater success than you've ever imagined
more quickly than you thought possible, and you'll never look back.
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2012. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.