[X&Y] When NOT To Date (5 Examples)
Published: Sun, 08/26/12
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IN THIS EDITION: When NOT to date ... Is the CHEATER still in
CONTROL? ... Sleepless nights
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TEN-PLUS ULTIMATE: FIND THE WOMAN OF YOUR DREAMS AND MARRY HER
I am opening up a very limited number of spots for a brand new
1-on-1 coaching program.
This is designed specifically for the man who wishes to identify
the right woman and marry her.
He wants to build the kind of relationship with a high quality
woman that is all too rare in today's world and which others
envy.
He wants to be the ultimate version of his authentic self and
to therefore boldly choose the most amazing woman he has ever
met.
And most of all, he wants to maximize the likelihood of long-
term happiness together.
Yes...this is the long-rumored program designed specifically
to find a great wife.
You have consistently reminded Emily and I that we are uniquely
suited to offer a best-in-class coaching program of this type,
and we are now following through on that.
The cost of Ten-Plus Ultimate is $15,000 USD. As such, it will
only be for a select few, and there is an application process.
If finding the right woman is a top priority for you, e-mail
me at scot@deservewhatyouwant.com.
Those who are accepted to the program will receive an
unprecedented level of personal attention, so only the serious
should inquire.
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TOO YOUNG, SEPARATED, MOVING, OR NOT MOVING
Hello,
I have a question. Is there any time when someone honestly should
not date? If so, how do they know when to finally start dating?
Monty
PS- I love your show. Thanks for pointing out some obvious stuff
to men.
Monty:
That's one of those questions that requires me to go through ALL
the file cards to make sure I don't miss anything.
No wait...I can only think of three:
1) You are young enough that your parents still have
authority in your life and prohibit it.
2) You are "separated" and still pending divorce.
3) You are dead.
Notice that "married" is conspicuous by it's absence. Emily and I
go on dates all the time.
On second thought, there's arguably a fourth:
4) You are about to permanently move far, far away within a
short amount of time.
...and probably a fifth also, come to think of it:
5) You are either psychopathic and/or narcissistic enough to
inflict wanton evil upon MOTOS (members of the opposite
sex) without any regard whatsoever for their needs,
desires or happiness.
If any of those situations apply you would most certainly want to
start dating once the issue at hand is resolved...although #3 would
be particularly challenging to overcome.
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WHAT...CAUTIOUS? HIM? REALLY? (LETTER FROM A WOMAN)
Dear Scot,
Thank you so much for all the emails I receive from you guys.
I have one problem Scot, the thing is I am stuck. I have known this
one guy in my area for about six months or so, he is a good guy and
once in a while we chat but that's just it.
I know he likes me because he really pays attention to me and calls
me at least twice a week. The problem is that last year a week before
his wedding he found his fiancee to be in bed with his best friend.
That really upset him and their wedding was called off. Sometimes he
can be so aloof but how do I get really close to him because he seems
very cautious at times?
Rita
Hello Rita:
Ah yes... another example of the type of emails like that have been
showing up in our inbox more often than ever lately.
I call 'em the "How We'd Love To Have A Word With The One You're
Complaining About" type of emails.
Clearly your friend has had a traumatic experience. One that
continues to torture him to the core, as evidenced by how he
appears to be projecting a deep level of inherent mistrust upon
the women he meets nowadays.
That, of course, is unfair. After all, his (former) best friend
(who is male, I assume?) was involved in the infraction also. Yet
I'm sure he still trusts himself--a fellow male.
Yes. I'd love to have a word with your friend. Share some life
experiences. Explain that there are some amazing and perfectly
trustworthy women out there (of which you may very well be one).
Maybe I'd tell him that he'll continue to attract and settle for
untrustworthy women into his life as long as that is who he expects
to show up.
Exhort him that life is way too short to let this former fiancee
CONTROL him to the degree she still is. That last one would be a
wake-up call, wouldn't it? Boy howdy.
Or, on the other hand, maybe I'd just slap his wrist and get him to
stop leading on a nice woman like you with a bunch of lines
designed to hold you at bay until he finds someone he likes more.
I guess I'd have to make the judgment call on which direction to go
sometime into our little talk.
But the truth is I didn't get the email from him. I got it from
you.
So my answer for you is much less complicated and even more
pragmatic: You aren't going to change him.
You deserve a man who is--let's see...what's the term women typically
use? Ah yes..."emotionally available"--which this one isn't.
Now go deserve what you want. And remember, part of deserving is
recognizing who you deserve.
=====
ATTACK OF (OR ADVICE OF?) THE CLONES
Scot:
My friend told me about your site. I read it, started listening to
The Chick Whisperer and some of the other audio lessons too. I
like what you have to say.
I have to wonder though, how you are able to answer e-mails, be
available for phone calls, and come up with audio interviews
including Power Sessions?
Are you sure it's only you (and Emily)? Are there 3 Scot McKays?
PS- I love your show. Thanks for pointing out some obvious stuff
to men.
Monty:
That's one of those questions that requires me to go through ALL
the file cards to make sure I don't miss anything.
No wait...I can only think of three:
1) You are young enough that your parents still have
authority in your life and prohibit it.
2) You are "separated" and still pending divorce.
3) You are dead.
Notice that "married" is conspicuous by it's absence. Emily and I
go on dates all the time.
On second thought, there's arguably a fourth:
4) You are about to permanently move far, far away within a
short amount of time.
...and probably a fifth also, come to think of it:
5) You are either psychopathic and/or narcissistic enough to
inflict wanton evil upon MOTOS (members of the opposite
sex) without any regard whatsoever for their needs,
desires or happiness.
If any of those situations apply you would most certainly want to
start dating once the issue at hand is resolved...although #3 would
be particularly challenging to overcome.
=====
WHAT...CAUTIOUS? HIM? REALLY? (LETTER FROM A WOMAN)
Dear Scot,
Thank you so much for all the emails I receive from you guys.
I have one problem Scot, the thing is I am stuck. I have known this
one guy in my area for about six months or so, he is a good guy and
once in a while we chat but that's just it.
I know he likes me because he really pays attention to me and calls
me at least twice a week. The problem is that last year a week before
his wedding he found his fiancee to be in bed with his best friend.
That really upset him and their wedding was called off. Sometimes he
can be so aloof but how do I get really close to him because he seems
very cautious at times?
Rita
Hello Rita:
Ah yes... another example of the type of emails like that have been
showing up in our inbox more often than ever lately.
I call 'em the "How We'd Love To Have A Word With The One You're
Complaining About" type of emails.
Clearly your friend has had a traumatic experience. One that
continues to torture him to the core, as evidenced by how he
appears to be projecting a deep level of inherent mistrust upon
the women he meets nowadays.
That, of course, is unfair. After all, his (former) best friend
(who is male, I assume?) was involved in the infraction also. Yet
I'm sure he still trusts himself--a fellow male.
Yes. I'd love to have a word with your friend. Share some life
experiences. Explain that there are some amazing and perfectly
trustworthy women out there (of which you may very well be one).
Maybe I'd tell him that he'll continue to attract and settle for
untrustworthy women into his life as long as that is who he expects
to show up.
Exhort him that life is way too short to let this former fiancee
CONTROL him to the degree she still is. That last one would be a
wake-up call, wouldn't it? Boy howdy.
Or, on the other hand, maybe I'd just slap his wrist and get him to
stop leading on a nice woman like you with a bunch of lines
designed to hold you at bay until he finds someone he likes more.
I guess I'd have to make the judgment call on which direction to go
sometime into our little talk.
But the truth is I didn't get the email from him. I got it from
you.
So my answer for you is much less complicated and even more
pragmatic: You aren't going to change him.
You deserve a man who is--let's see...what's the term women typically
use? Ah yes..."emotionally available"--which this one isn't.
Now go deserve what you want. And remember, part of deserving is
recognizing who you deserve.
=====
ATTACK OF (OR ADVICE OF?) THE CLONES
Scot:
My friend told me about your site. I read it, started listening to
The Chick Whisperer and some of the other audio lessons too. I
like what you have to say.
I have to wonder though, how you are able to answer e-mails, be
available for phone calls, and come up with audio interviews
including Power Sessions?
Are you sure it's only you (and Emily)? Are there 3 Scot McKays?
Frank
Hello Frank:
Nope, there really is only one of me. Having seen Multiplicity
with Michael Keaton a few years back I decided cloning is out of
the question.
Here's the simple truth. It's generally accepted that waking up
every morning excited about one's work is as good as it gets.
Well, there are sometimes days where I've woken up the DAY BEFORE
excited about my job...and haven't gone to bed yet.
That said, nowadays we have a super effective team of people who
take care of a lot of our daily operations, technical bits and
artistic pieces.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2012. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please use the
link below to quickly and securely remove yourself from our mailing
list.
Hello Frank:
Nope, there really is only one of me. Having seen Multiplicity
with Michael Keaton a few years back I decided cloning is out of
the question.
Here's the simple truth. It's generally accepted that waking up
every morning excited about one's work is as good as it gets.
Well, there are sometimes days where I've woken up the DAY BEFORE
excited about my job...and haven't gone to bed yet.
That said, nowadays we have a super effective team of people who
take care of a lot of our daily operations, technical bits and
artistic pieces.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2012. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please use the
link below to quickly and securely remove yourself from our mailing
list.