[X&Y] "I Don't Love You Anymore, Therefore You Must Be A Cheater"
Published: Wed, 02/27/13
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WHAT'S INSIDE: If you let a woman choose YOU when you really
haven't chosen HER, this is what very well might happen...
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"I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE, THEREFORE YOU MUST BE A CHEATER"
The following story is true. The names have been changed to
protect the innocent.
But there isn't anything that's going to protect YOU from the very
same thing happening in YOUR life unless you deserve what you want
and put to an end any mindset whatsoever that would cause you to
"settle".
Here's the deal.
About two years ago Billy Bob went to a bar, hopefully to meet some
women. After throwing the proverbial "spaghetti against the wall"
to see what "stuck", lo and behold he got a woman named Mary Meenow
to talk to him.
She gave him her number. He called her and asked her out the
"customary" three days later.
A few weeks went by, and Mary started bugging Billy Bob about
becoming "exclusive". "Make me your girlfriend or I'm outta
here!", she announced.
After an audible wussy-boy sigh, Billy Bob feverishly rifled
through the file cards in his head but gave in.
After all, it was hella easier than going out there sarging some
more, huh?
So Billy Bob and Mary soldiered on a few more months. Finally,
Mary uttered the inevitable: "Hey my friend told me today that her
boyfriend asked her to marry him, and we've been dating longer than
they have!"
Billy Bob was flustered and avoided the issue. But Mary was
persistent.
Only a couple of days passed by before she dropped the Weapon Of
Mass Destruction: "I've had it with your non-committal attitude.
Either I get a ring from you or I'm walking. You have five days
to think about it."
And so the ultimatum had been issued. Using the exact same logic
he drew from months before, Billy Bob showed up with a ring four
days later.
Within two weeks they got married in Vega$.
Only a mere thirty days went by before Billy Bob--a military man
--got orders out to a base 1500 miles away.
Mary, who had a son in school, decided to wait behind for the
duration of the six month deployment rather than pick up and move
only to move back half a year from now.
Shortly thereafter, she got a call. Billy Bob was being sent out
to sea for 90 days, during which time any communication would be
all but impossible.
But it was only a month and a half or so before Mary got another
surprise call from Billy Bob.
He had seen her Facebook post where she talked about having gone
Salsa dancing the other night.
(Note: If you are thinking this whole jigsaw puzzle is missing a
couple of pieces, I'm right there with you.)
Billy Bob was angry, branded her a "cheater" and declared that he
wanted a divorce.
Click.
So what happened here?
Well, Mary isn't a cheater. And furthermore, here it is: Billy
Bob doesn't actually think so either.
It's just that he...well, uh...he sorta hasn't really...um...
missed her a whole lot since he has been gone.
It isn't like he even looks at her picture much. And he darn
skippy didn't use whatever precious Internet access time he had
to email her, let alone mix in a Skype account.
He doesn't love her anymore. In fact, he probably never did.
Worse, he doesn't have the masculine strength to admit it to her,
therefore he scapegoats her with a ridiculous excuse.
How do I know all this? Simple: men who LOVE their cheating wives
typically respond to discovery of infidelity with hurt and denial
rather than a quick and dirty exit.
He SETTLED. And SO DID SHE.
This is what happens when there is no effort made to deserve what
one wants, and two people allow themselves to be okay with
accepting whomever "happens to come along".
Both Mary and Billy Bob DID NOT choose each other.
They accepted each other vis-à-vis circumstance, and once they did
both were so insecure with their own ability to deserve that they
dreaded the concept of breaking up and "starting all over" with
someone else more than they did staying together.
At least until now, when the house of cards finally collapsed.
Absolutely go out and meet some people--at a bar, club or even in
the elevator. But don't be a Billy Bob . Deserve
what you want and never, ever "settle".
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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