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IN THIS EDITION:   Have you ever been on a blind date?  If you're
into online dating, make that a "yes".  Find out the potentially
hazardous tricks your mind plays on you when out on a blind date,
and how to get your head back into the game and deserve what you
want.

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IF YOU KNEW THIS WOULD MAXIMIZE YOUR CHANCES WITH WOMEN...


...wouldn't you be all over it?

Even though the answer to that question seems pretty obvious,
here's a startling truth.

99% of all other guys out there are still going to ultimately
say, "Nah...not really." 

That's even though the solution is in PLAIN SIGHT.

I personally have no idea why that is. 

Laziness?  Fear of failure?  Sheer apathy?

Who knows, ultimately?

But what I DO know is that if YOU, on the other hand, are
willing to make a few simple tweaks to how you do things, then
MORE FOR YOU.

And absolutely NOWHERE is this phenomenon more sharply evident
than online.

Right now, I'm willing to hand over every single hard-earned
(and GOLDEN) secret to fast-tracking your online dating
fortunes that I've got...all for half price:



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Just use the coupon code online50 and you're in.

Now, I know that what's in Online Dating Domination 2.0 is
insanely valuable because I hear success stories from guys
who have it just about every day.

Meanwhile, I ALSO get lots of e-mails from guys who are asking
me how to get women to open their messages and write them back.

Let me just tell you point blank:  The difference is Online
Dating Domination 2.0, hands down:



50% Off -- Online Dating Domination 2.0



Hint:  When you score your copy, go straight to the Fast-Track
List and 50 First E-Mails sections first.  You'll never look
back from there.

The online50 coupon is good until Friday night...so
getchasum.



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BLIND DATES:  DON'T BE LEFT IN THE DARK


Let's talk old skool for a bit. 

It used to be that a 'blind date' came about by a simple
conversation. 

Someone you know (preferably) came up to you, sensing for better
or worse that you were basically dateless, and said, "You know,
I have this friend you HAVE to meet.  You two would LOOOVE each
other."  

Usually this would-be matchmaker was female, as it has always
seemed to me that women love to take on that role (e.g. find me an
"It's Just Lunch" franchise with a male director).  

If you were like me, being the willing accomplices such that we
were, you'd tend to respond to such a suggestion with, "Uh...sure
...why not?  What do I have to lose?"
 
Now, considering most of us as guys tend to go through a phase
where we're all about spending large sums of cash securing first
dates that "impress women" with how artificial and awkward they are,
you actually had PLENTY to lose. 

But whatever...that was beside the point.

So you went on the date.  And your brain would start to mess with
you...hard. 

I'll elaborate more on that in a minute.

First, however, let's teleport back into the present.  If you are
like millions of others scattered across the four corners of the
virtual landscape, you've discovered the masterpiece that is
"online dating". 

By now you know that we're huge believers in online dating around
here, and hope you are too.  (If not, drop me a note at
scot@deservewhatyouwant.com.  We have ways of replicating that
mindset.)

This, then, naturally means that "blind dates" have become a
multi-billion dollar industry. 

No longer is what we're talking about here limited to your Aunt
Gertrude setting you up with her bridge partner's brace-faced
niece. 

Not really.  This is the 21st century, boys and girls.

And come on, let's get down to it:  When you meet someone you met
on an online dating site for the first time, it really is a blind
date.

Profile narratives?  Telephone conversations?  IM?  Even pictures?
They're all essentially meaningless in the real world much of the
time. 

When that person darkens the door to Starbucks you might very well
be darkened also.  Or else you'll light up.  Or...your brain will
start to mess with you, like I said.  After all, it's a blind date.

So what do I mean by all this talk about "your brain messing with
you"?

Well, it's like this.  As much as most guys have issues with
approaching women in the "real world", there is one undeniable
factor involved in doing so that can bring a lot of clarity to a
man's life if he lets it: 

When you approach women live and in person you are FULLY AWARE
of how sexually attractive she is to you initially.

You absolutely, positively NOTICED here and made a move.

If you walk up to the most attractive woman in the place, verify
that she's a high-quality woman--and she's digging your chili--then
you KNOW THE SCORE.  Way to deserve what you want. 

On the other hand, if "hope" is your strategy and you go through 20
or 30 women before one actually will hang out with you, you also
KNOW THE SCORE.  You are SETTLING. 

On a blind date, that's all off the table--you get no such frame of
reference, really. 

You have not chosen someone from a field of many.  You simply have
a certain person in front of you...RIGHT HERE.  RIGHT NOW. 

Having literally skipped the whole process of realizing initial
attraction from afar, you're actually on a real, live DATE with
this person\from the first time you actually see her.

The "heavy lifting" usually associated with getting to that step
has been done for you.

That's where "lazy" goes "crazy".  And the longer it has been since
you've been on a quality date, the more hallucinatory the trip gets.

To better communicate the notion I'm about to describe, let's set
it all up this way.

One of the key hallmarks of a Wildly Successful Dating Life is that
you are comfortable weeding out people who do not meet your
exacting standards. 

This is not a matter of snobbery, it's a matter of necessity when
you have options. 

Simply put, non-platonic relationships are not exactly the place
for philanthropy. 

If you want to save the world, team up with the greatest person
you've ever met whenever it is you meet her and save the world
together. 

When you are talking about something as mission-critical as having
the right woman in your life, then charity cases need not apply.

But until we get to that place...the Wildly Successful Dating
Place...we often let certain insidious factors creep to the top of
our list when deciding who we're going to date and/or talk
ourselves into being attractive to. 

These factors are (in order):

   

1)  "This person actually finds me attractive, therefore I'm
attracted." 


2)  "This person is actually available, therefore I'm available."


3)  "We're already on a date, so the convenience of this set up
    sure beats having to go out and dredge up someone else."



I go on about being "clouded by beauty vision" quite often.  Now
we're talking about being flat-out "blinded by blind dates".

No joke. 

Seriously, here's where the rubber meets the road:  If you had seen
this person you are on a blind date with out in public prior to
being set up together, would you have even TAKEN NOTICE?  

Here's the crazy part.  Often, if you have the guts to ask yourself
that question on a first date with someone you met online (or who
your Aunt Gertrude recommended, for that matter) you find yourself
answering as follows:  "You know, I DON'T KNOW."

It's true.  Sometimes your brain plays tricks on you to the point
where you simply can't separate where the "butterflies" of being on
an actual date with someone end and real, natural attraction
starts.  

So yeah, you go on a second date, and you may even be excited about
it.  But your brain is flipped out over this.  What is REAL here?

Thankfully, I believe there are several reliable metrics you can
apply that will give very real clarity to the situation:



1)  Would you be proud to introduce your date to your friends?  This
is HUGE.  If you are embarrassed by the prospect of doing so, you're
only fooling yourself.


2)  Have you seen someone else during the course of the first date
who caused your attention to wander?  If you're at breakfast and
can't keep your eyes off the chick in the booth over there, it's
your judgment that's been scrambled and/or fried over hard, not
the eggs.


3)  Are you more excited about seeing this person again, or more
excited to just be dating someone?  Can you clearly see the
difference between these two states of mind?  It's important to do
so.


4)  Were you bored at any time during the first date?  If you find
your mind drifting, you're kidding yourself if you think there's
chemistry there.


5)  Do you find yourself justifying and/or wishing away certain
flaws in her?  Remember, there's a real-world difference between
"perfectly imperfect" and straight-up "not right".  "Perfect
imperfections" endear you to someone.  That's good.  Justifying
stuff that irritates you or turns you off?  That's settling.


6)  Are you using all the time spent on e-mail, IM and telephone
prior to actually meeting this person (or God forbid--the cost of
the plane tickets) as a weapon against yourself to "give this a
chance" despite your gut reaction?  Stop kidding around.  It's
going nowhere.  Welcome to why most online dating experts recommend
moving from first e-mail to first meeting ASAP.



So there you have it.  A half-dozen highly practical principles you
can use like a GPS to find your mental bearings and get your head
around "blind dates".   

In closing, here's some good news.  Once you deserve what you want,
it's amazing how well "blind dates" can go. 

Even back in college there was a time when a friend set me up over
the summer with a girl who was going to be in the incoming freshman
class where I was going to school.

I remember being impressed when I met her, but in retrospect I now
recognize how I struggled at the time trying to sort out a lot of
the ideas I've brought up in this newsletter.

It was HARD to sort out what my real thoughts were.

We decided to enter the school year as "friends", but once we were
at college together I found myself choosing her over all other
options. 

So my friend had his game on when he set me up with her, after all.
Looking back, all of the "clarity factors" above actually were
checked off.

And yes, that fateful morning Emily and I met all the boxes were
checked also...even though both of us had options.  And that's about
as much 20/20 foresight as a blind date can offer.
  

Be Good,

Scot McKay




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