[X&Y] 6 Blunderous First Date Choices That RUIN Your Chances
Published: Wed, 03/06/13
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WHAT'S INSIDE: Why do guys INSIST on blowing their chances with
women by taking them on first dates like THESE? Who knows? But
from this day forward you'll be among the ranks of the wiser ones
who know better. This is a "must read", for sure...
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YOU DO NOT WANT YOUR "COMPETITION" TO FIND OUT ABOUT THIS...
Back when I was in the IT world, we kept a very simple but powerful
idea in mind whenever it was decision-making time.
We asked ourselves, "How would our competition feel when they found
out we made this decision?"
Generally speaking, if we instinctively knew it would strike fear
in their hearts, we knew it was a good idea.
So why am I sharing this with you?
Well, the simple truth is that when you do a search on Match.com or
Plenty Of Fish you are not alone.
There are TONS of other guys in your metro area who are on that
site, and the cold, hard truth is that they are attempting to
meet--and date--the SAME WOMEN you are.
And to be completely forthright with you, as you narrow your search
and focus in on your absolute top choices among "prospects" in your
city the more COMPETITION you're going to have.
That only makes sense. The most desirable women are getting the
most attention, pure and simple.
But as you know, I talk about being a man with OPTIONS. I talk
about being a CHOOSER instead of a CHASER.
So the big question in light of all this revolves around how YOU
are going to be the man who succeeds with those women where all
others fail...miserably.
What is it that you could do that would bolster your success ratio
while at the same time dramatically reducing all the other guys'
chances?
In other words, what is the LAST thing they'd want YOU to do in
this circumstance?
If you guessed, "become a stone cold expert at attracting the most
desirable women online", you nailed it.
Why? Because virtually NONE of those other guys in your city are
doing diddly-squat to improve their odds out there
They're cutting and pasting the same lame e-mail template and
getting similarly lame results. And when they FAIL, they do twice
as much of the same--somehow hoping for better.
Meanwhile, women are fed up. They're ready for a man who GETS IT.
They're ready to meet a man who knows how online dating is supposed
to work.
And that's precisely what my Online Dating Success Package is all
about...equipping YOU with the know-how necessary to distance
yourself from the herd:
http://www.datetoorder.com
DateToOrder is the online dating training division of X & Y
Communications, if you're not familiar with it just yet.
When you take the bold and decisive step to set up your Online
Dating Success Package with me, you'll immediately arm yourself
with a clear advantage over just about every other guy online.
Here's why.
For starters, I'll spend a FULL HOUR with you 1-on-1 transforming
your online dating profile into the most effective
attraction-creating web presence imaginable...guaranteed to create
instant intrigue among the feminine sweethearts you really WANT to
meet.
No, this is not a "profile writing service". After all, anyone who
actually succeeds at online dating already knows that DOESN'T WORK.
Instead, we'll find YOUR voice so that you'll not only start
enjoying rapid and adoring responses from women, you'll rock their
world in the form of your genuine, authentic self when you actually
MEET them.
Makes sense, doesn't it?
But any man who succeeds with women online also knows that having a
great profile isn't enough.
It's even more important to get your first e-mails to women right.
After all, that's how you serve notice that you are SELECTING the
women you want.
...But it's the "kiss of death" to come off like a "chaser".
So then, how do you find that balance? I'll show you the secrets
in our second one-hour call so that you'll be composing flat-out
masterful first e-mails in no time flat.
If you'd like, you can even get Emily's input at any point along
the way...which is a tremendous bonus you just can't get anywhere
else.
Once we get you firing on all cylinders online, you'll also get a
20-minute follow up call a couple of weeks later just to make any
necessary tweaks, answer any questions and/or address any remaining
"sticking points" you have.
It's all a part of the Online Dating Success Package, found right
here:
http://www.datetoorder.com
Without a doubt, this service is 100% unique. Emily and I both
have a real-world track record of tremendous success at online
dating, and the plain truth is we know how to make similar success
happen for you.
Since the Online Dating Success Package involves real, live 1-on-1
time space is limited. We've also recently adopted the policy of
only allowing one man every six months to receive this training per
metro area.
So if you're ready to distance yourself from the other guys in your
city, reserve your spot now:
http://www.datetoorder.com
Believe me, your online competition DOES NOT want you to gain this
kind of power.
They'll never even fully realize why they never got to meet the
women they so desperately wanted to...but all along it'll be because
YOU got their first.
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6 BLUNDEROUS FIRST DATE CHOICES THAT RUIN YOUR CHANCES
For the purposes of today's newsletter, I'm going to assume you
already know that the typical generic "dinner and a movie" date is
a bad idea.
However, the truth is that even if you DO create that
pressure-packed scenario where you're sitting across the table from
a woman at dinner trying to figure out how not to overspend and/or
wrestle over the bill at the end, things can still turn out okay.
And yes, if you sit in a dark movie theatre without saying a word
to each other for two hours, she MIGHT still agree to a second
date. After all, you two did virtually nothing to get to know each
other yet.
BUT...rest assured that if your idea of a good first date involves
ANY of the following half-dozen cockamamie schemes, you're
TOAST...with pretty much ZERO CHANCE of a second date:
1) Messy, Gassy Restaurants
If indulging in the full-on, sit-down, drag-out dinner date weren't
bad enough, some of us think more with our stomachs instead of our
brains.
Heck, even if we let our "smaller head" do the thinking for our
larger one, as it were, we'd figure out we do NOT want to risk
splattering Italian red sauce all over our shirt, slobbering
burrito innards all over ourselves, getting all sticky after
picking at BBQ ribs and/or reeking of "eau de peel and eat shrimp"
for the remainder of the evening.
What's more, we'd also remember ahead of time that most anything
served at Mexican or Cajun restaurants (among others) tends to
conjure up some WICKED fart action in record time.
There's nothing like having THAT come home to roost when you're out
with a woman for the very first time, now is there?
And most of all, we'd immediately clue ourselves in to the fact
that SHE'D be even MORE mortified than we would be were any of
those tragic consequences befall HER on a date.
2) Concerts By Local Bands With Friends In Them
Man, this one sounds like such a fall-out-of-bed GREAT idea when we
suggest it to a woman.
After all, you'd be taking her to hear some cool music and probably
get in for free because your buddies are playing. Nice.
There's only one problem. You'd also be setting your buddies up
for automatic and inevitable recognition as the "alpha" guys in the
room.
Think about it. They're the ones who would actually be PROVIDING
the music you're so sure would be cool...all the while being
glorified on stage before a throng of adoring fans.
And don't kid yourself...an "intimate venue" might as well equal a
"throng" in this case.
If you go forward with such a crazy plan, don't be at all surprised
when she sheepishly asks, "Um...so...can you, uh...introduce my to your
friend? The one playing the guitar?"
Game over. And the worst part? You set yourself up for this.
For what it's worth, it's best to avoid ANY situation where you are
setting other dudes up to look like heroes in front of your woman,
while you're apparently relegated to "fanboy". This is especially
true if those guys are somehow socially accessible to the audience
in some direct way after the "gig".
Going to see plays, sporting events, etc. with your friends as the
main center of attention is almost never a good idea.
3) Anywhere You Haven't Researched First
The general rule is this: You can either PLAN or you can PAY.
Never mind the simple fact that showing up for a date with a clear
plan of action is an excellent indicator of masculinity as women
define it...while NOT having a plan ISN'T.
The more profound problem is that when you're left to "improvise"
your way through a date you might very well find yourself somewhere
you know virtually NOTHING about.
For example, let's say you decide to take her ice skating. The
only ice rink is on the other side of town.
No worries, you take her anyway. It's a Friday night, but for some
reason the "free skate" time ends at 8.30...which catches you by
total surprise.
You can't take her home before 9.00 because...well, that's just
"unthinkable". So you fall into the little restaurant on the
corner that she pointed out because it looked "quaint" or something.
Fine.
You park the car, walk into the modest-looking neighborhood eatery
and take your seats. A few minutes later you're handed your menus
and the entrees are priced like it's friggin' Morton's Steak House.
If you get up and leave you know you'll look like a cheapskate, and
things are going to get awkward REAL fast.
But if you stay you might not be able to make your car payment this
month. Whoops.
4) Anywhere She Won't Feel Perfectly Safe
We just found out that venturing into the "unknown" on a date is
fraught with peril.
But the "cost of doing business" aside, if your luck truly betrays
you there's a chance you may completely misread wherever you end
up...only find out there's either some ultra-creepy, socially
incongruent or flat-out dangerous vibe going on in there.
Guys who plan dates around venues they already know and trust
realize that "luck" actually has nothing to do with it. ...At least
it SHOULDN'T.
Remember that a woman you're with on a first date hasn't really had
the chance to fully get to know and TRUST you yet. At the very
least, you can't ASSUME that she trusts you already.
Women are "security seeking creatures". Always avoid dark
alleyways, driving through bad neighborhoods, etc. when you're
enjoying their company of a woman.
And whatever you do, don't PURPOSEFULLY take her somewhere that's
going to freak her out.
5) Anywhere Without An "Escape Hatch"
No matter how much you've (unfortunately) managed to convince
yourself that the woman you're going out with must be some sort of
"goddess" who can do no wrong, you'd do well to bear in mind that
ANYTHING can happen on a first date.
For example, you might discover you have mind-blowing chemistry
together.
Then again, one or both of you might be ready to pull the plug on
the whole thing within ten minutes.
Hey, even if you're both decent, upstanding people you could indeed
be driving each other stark, raving NUTS sooner than later.
And IF that happens, you'd better hope you haven't sequestered
yourself on some five-hour ferry boat ride or some other place
there's NO CHANCE of getting out of.
Yeah, it's good to be optimistic. But don't let your anticipation
of good things override common sense.
6) "Meat Markets"
The way I see it, this one should fall under the jurisdiction of
"Captain Obvious".
But go figure...I hear the horror stories again and again, so let me
spell it out for you.
Here's the deal, gentlemen.
For starters, why you would want to pit yourself night after night
against a bunch of other PUA-minded guys in a bar or club who are
all hitting on the same stuck-up chicks is beyond me to begin with.
But why you'd RETURN there once you already HAVE a woman to go out
with is completely beyond my comprehension.
I mean, if you're a masculine, confident man it's not like you
can't successfully AMOG all of those other guys who are invariably
going to mack on your girl as soon as you go to the bar to get a
couple of drinks.
But why on Earth would you WANT to?
You've GOT THE GIRL. Now go somewhere where you can actually get
to know her rather than having to concern yourself if you're even
going to LEAVE with her.
Having gotten to the end of the list, I'm realizing that I don't
think anyone has ever covered ANY of what I just shared with you
before.
Usually the advice you hear out there admonishes you not to drop a
pile of ca$h on a woman and pretty much leaves it at that.
If it's online dating advice in particular, just about everyone
(including myself) would suggest that you plan nothing more
elaborate than a half-hour visit to a coffee shop with any woman
you've never actually met before.
But now you know just how deep this "first date" rabbit hole
potentially goes.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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