=====

WHAT'S INSIDE:  Following up on yesterday's blog post on being
picky, I realized that there's yet another factor (or two) to
consider...

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MASTER THE ART OF LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIPS, BUT BE SURE TO MEET THE RIGHT WOMAN FIRST


Now if that headline doesn't deliver some sage advice on how to
achieve ultimate success in this life, I don't know what does.

Think about it.  You've absolutely, positively GOT to make sure you
know how to lead in a relationship with a woman, or else you'll
have HUGE headaches down the road.

Divorce.  Legal bills.  Loss of at least half of your net worth.
Only seeing your kids on first and third weekends.

And to make sure you've got your best chance at long-term happiness
taken care of up front, you've also GOT to make sure to actually
MEET the right woman.

You've just got to find the woman of your dreams...lest your life
become a living nightmare instead.

How can you be sure to get all of this handled?

Well, right now I've got the ultimate solution to that for you,
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That way you'll have the world's most complete toolkit for
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and attracting the right woman:



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Taking advantage of this couldn't be easier.  Just order The
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The doors are open until midnight on 3/29.  That's when this promo
will expire.



=====



PERFECTLY IMPERFECT


[Ed. Note:  The following is a reprint of one of my earliest
newsletters.  It was originally sent on 2/6/2006, exactly five days
before I met Emily.  Go figure...]


By now you have likely figured out that I freely move between the
practical and the philosophical around here, and today you will not
get a bulletized list of info. 

Instead, I am going to let you in on something you may have already
suspected is true, but perhaps have not yet been able to quite
figure out completely.

As such, today's conversation is one I cannot wait to have with
you, because it carries with it the possibility for tremendous
personal freedom and empowerment.  And it goes a little sumthin'
like this (hit it):

A while back, I wrote to you about how the media in this country
has a lot to do with programming us with pre-packaged ideas about
what we are "supposed" to be attracted to. 

As you know, I believe there are a lot of men and women out there
who are going to great lengths to approach a certain level of
"beauty" that is, for the most part, a constant chasing after the
wind.

Last night I happened upon "The Bachelor" as I was flipping
channels.  The eponymous subject is apparently to decide between
four women, all of whom are completely different. 

What a heart-wrenching challenge for him, according to the plot. 

Well, I looked at the TV and as my eyes started to glaze over
(losing interest) it dawned on me...I was personally feeling
virtually zero attraction for any of the four women he had before
him.

Don't get me wrong.  It's not anyone's fault that this is the case.

Everyone involved with the show is beautiful, "nice", etc.  

I'm just different. 

And this got me to thinking.  If I really consider the type of
woman I would be most attracted to, she would never really be the
"Barbie" type, approaching media-driven perfection physically.
Ever. 

Let me spell this out:  Put a woman who somehow seems more like an
even match for me next to "Barbie", and I will be feeling more
natural, visceral "energy" for her than for the Super Model type. 

So who is this chick?

Some call her the "Girl Next Door".  I call her amazing.  And
better yet, I'm going to tell you why.  The general idea is that
it's precisely the fact that she is NOT so perfect that makes her
more attractive to me. 

The 'imperfections' themselves may not be so easily defined.  In
fact, I'm hard pressed to come up with a laundry list of them
because it would be different for me than it would be for you. 

But basically, such a woman brings a total package that I can
flat-out appreciate.  Maybe the "imperfections" are exactly those I
can relate to. 

But whatever the case, what makes her potentially "imperfect" for
others is what makes her who she is in my eyes, and I would never
want to change her to be more "perfect". 

In every case, though, she's the type of woman who others will
invariable say "looks cute with me".  We just look like and act
like we belong together.
 
This is a magical thing. 

When I know this is going on, I am proud to be with her and to be
seen with her, even if other guys may not have seen in her what I
see. 

In situations like these when things are firing on all cylinders,
we both understand how what's perfect and what's IMPERFECT work
together to make us get along so well.

It has been said that people often end up together who physically
look alike.  If you have ever seen a couple and aren't really sure
if they are brother/sister or on a date, you know exactly what I'm
getting at.  I think this is absolutely a truism. 

I have a friend who is physically very different than I am, and the
women he tends to go nuts over I wouldn't ask out in a million
years.

But see, what I think doesn't matter.  If he is with someone who he
really digs, then that is all that counts.  And it's particularly
interesting how he gravitates towards women who kind of look like
him. 

Unfortunately, many of us want approval from others when it comes
to who we are dating.  We want to be with the one whom everyone
else finds attractive. 

The irony is, of course, that this is impossible to really measure
for sure, and quickly becomes wasted energy. 

Want a quick test as to whether you are vulnerable to this way of
thinking? 

OK...I can do that.  Here it is:  Have you ever found yourself dating
someone who many of your friends think is utterly fantastic, when
you yourself have this nagging feeling that you are not
appreciating him/her as much as someone else would? 

I certainly have in the past.  It's as if I am just straight-up
feeling like I am dating someone else's woman. 

It's easy to get somewhat confused in these cases because the
feeling on the surface is, "What is wrong with me?  How come I
can't fall for this person?" 

Well, that's a case of being caught up in seeking "perfection"
rather than "imperfect perfection". 

Get it?

Just in case you don't, consider this:  The SAME holds true if
you're passing up women who you're genuinely drawn to simply
because you're concerned that they won't be beautiful enough,
impressive enough, etc. for "the masses" (i.e. your social circle).

Nobody is perfect of course, but focusing on someone who is perfect
for me is about as good as it gets.  What about you?


Be Good,

Scot McKay


 

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