[X&Y] More From Women On What They REALLY Want In A Man
Published: Thu, 07/04/13
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IN THIS EDITION: Want more insight into what women REALLY want?
You got it. And how about TIMES THREE? (This is some VALUABLE stuff,
for sure.)
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MORE ON WHAT WOMEN WANT
OK guys, as you know I often print a question from a reader, and
answer it for you.
This time, I'm instead sharing a letter with you from a woman who
didn't have any questions, really. It's just that she agreed that
the basic ideas in The Master Plan are SO RIGHT ON that she just
had to share her experiences regarding a BAD DATE she went on
recently.
As you read this, I want to prepare you for something. It might
not be the easiest read. In fact, some of it may make you
cringe. But it's WORTH IT.
In fact, you may find yourself getting mad at the woman writing the
letter.
But believe me...if this story is ANYTHING CLOSE to accurate, it was
HIM...not HER.
Sure, you could easily say that if the guy cared more about this
date he would have shown more initiative...but given the train of
events, I doubt that was the issue.
If you pay VERY CAREFUL attention to Denise's words, you'll find
that she did EVERYTHING SHE COULD to give this guy a chance.
Ultimately though, as you're about to see, if you don't have the
"Big Four" going on, you tend to get "perplexed" when women
ultimately say "thanks but no thanks"...
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READER QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS
Dear Scot,
You are awesome and I often pass your websites along to folks I
meet who seem to be in wanton need of your it's-just-common-sense
advice. I LOVE IT!
I had such a nauseating experience last night I feel compelled to
share with someone who will "get" my reaction.
I accepted a 2nd date from a guy.
He seemed to be a good guy, a bit more reserved than I prefer, but
hey, he had the guts to actually ask me out, so I figured I'd give
him a chance to "shine" on perhaps more comfortable ground, i.e
something he would like to do on a date.
He called a few days later, this past Monday, asked me out for the
weekend. We arranged Friday. Said he would e-mail me the details in
the next few days. I'm impressed he's going to come up with a plan!
No word all week long. Calls me midday on Friday, leaves this
message on my cell:
"Sorry I haven't gotten back to you sooner, I hope you are still
available tonight. I couldn't really find anything going on so I
thought maybe we could just meet and maybe wander around and find
something."
Gee, now there's an offer I can't refuse!
Me--perplexed--this is Seattle, for crying out loud. There's music
all over the place! And, it's friggin' summertime and he's "inviting"
me to "wander around until we find something"???
At this point, all my initial impressions of him were confirmed
(aka, not "on top of his game") and I am now regretting having
accepted this date.
However, I'm not one to back out once I have accepted, except for
emergencies or hints there might be danger ahead, so I decided to
hang in there just for this one date and see how the rest of the
eve plays out.
I couldn't return his call till the end of my work day at 5 pm. He
still didn't have a plan. I fed him information because he
obviously needs some direction.
I tell him the weekend "what's happening" is released by the paper
on Thursday so he could look at it online. I even tell him exactly
the URL.
He wants to know where we should meet. (I thought he asked me
out?) We agree to meet outside of a certain restaurant (because he
knew where that was).
I told him there was a parking garage right there so he wouldn't
have to park six blocks away. He said he would Google the directions
to the parking garage--great initiative!
We talk at 8:20, both late, me 5 min, him 15. No big deal. He asks
me again for directions to the parking garage (guess Google wasn't
helpful).
We determine he's roughly 10-15 minutes away including time to
park, etc. I arrive at our meeting spot. After 20 minutes of
waiting I call to check (at this point I am skeptical he is going
to be able to find the place...again).
Sure enough, he has parked 6 blocks away and is walking, but didn't
know which direction he was walking--true story!
I get him set on the right track and 5 minutes later I call him
from street corner where I had walked to so he could find me (and
yes, I told him I was there).
Eventually, we meet up, but this entire direction-location-finding
thing took until 9 pm and I am ready to go home.
And he still has no plan.
I guess he didn't take advantage of my invite to look online, so I
suggest a wine bar that is around the corner as a starter. We
arrive, actually get 2 front and center seats at the bar, waiter
brings a list.
We chat long enough to settle in. After 10 minutes waiter hasn't
come back to ask us if we are ready to order despite our having put
the menus down. It seemed we were waiting an inordinate amount of
time for the bartender.
I wanted to jump up and say "excuse me we are ready"...but, I
wanted to give this guy a chance to do his man thing and take care
of this.
He didn't. We waited more than 20 minutes, sitting right at the
bar, in full view of bartenders who were mixing everyone else's
drinks right in front of us.
I wondered how long the bartenders were going to allow us to sit
there and drink water. In the meantime, while my date is talking
away, I conceded and thought, "okay, I'm just going to drink water
all night."
Then, finally coming to the realization that he really had no clue
that he should have gotten the waiter's attention on our behalf, I
took the initiative and gave the proverbial smile and nod to the
waiter. Drinks arrive. Yea...progress!
We continue to visit, (he talked mostly, I listened )...no
connection. He doesn't get it. I'm not surprised. We stay roughly
1.5 hours. He wants to go find some music.
I declined, it's late, I have to go check on my geriatric dog (16.5
yr old husky) who had been having a bad week.
As he walks me back to the parking garage and comments on how
"easy" the evening was, believe it or not he asked me if I would
like to go out again.
Me--aghast at the thought! I wanted to scream, "What......t?
Because we had such a great time tonight?????"
I shook his hand. Said thank you for the evening and graciously
declined. Left him standing at the top of the escalator looking
perplexed.
THE END.
Denise (Seattle, WA)
P.S. BTW- one tidbit I left out. When I called him while on my
wait to tell him I was running a few minutes late, as soon as I
said, "Hi this is..." he immediately jumped in with "are you
calling to cancel?"
That should have been my "stop sign"!
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Now to this guy's credit, he DID pick up the phone instead of
texting. And he DID have the presence of mind to walk her to the
parking garage. But the rest was a disaster.
Can you REALLY blame Denise for being frustrated? Sure she uses
some up-front language to describe what happened, but hey...she
tried. She TRIED.
She shouldn't have HAD to TRY. Her date should have MANNED UP.
Masculinity, confidence, character (doing what you say you're going
to do, for example) and inspiring a woman's confidence. Without
the "Big Four" (let alone ANY of the "Big Four"), you too could be
left "perplexed" at the end of dates.
Don't do that.
Avoiding just ONE MORE DATE that's ANYTHING CLOSE to the one above
is worth checking out The Master Plan.
After all, it's called The Master Plan for a reason. It's your
COMPLETE ROAD MAP for being exactly the version of your REAL SELF
who doesn't get left alone at the top of parking garage escalators:
The Master Plan -- 50% Off
Use the coupon code "masterplan50" today ONLY to get a full 50% off.
That's my Independence Day special for you.
And seriously, if you have a gut feeling that you've sometimes
dropped the ball on having a plan when in the company of a woman
--and it didn't end well for you--then The Master Plan will be the
best investment you've ever made:
The Master Plan -- 50% Off
I'll talk to you again soon.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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