[X&Y] 3 Ways To See Yourself As Others See You
Published: Tue, 07/09/13
=====
WHAT'S INSIDE: Can you see yourself as others see you? Can
you see them as they see themselves? Both are amazing skills.
=====
GAIN SUPERPOWERS
Realistically speaking, the single greatest POWER you can have
as a man is the ability to select the woman you really want and
keep her in your life as long as you choose.
Of course, that means she's got to be absolutely thrilled to
be in your life and excited about the adventures you'll lead
her into.
In order for ANY of that to become your reality, however,
you've GOT to become what I call The Leading Man:
2-For-1: The Leading Man + Your Choice
When you click that link above, you'll discover what is still
the undisputed #1 system for building masterful relationships
with women.
Guys who have it not only thank me for it, they tell me they
wish they had had it years ago. Some even get a second copy
for their sons:
2-For-1: The Leading Man + Your Choice
Remember, right now I've got a special 2-for-1 promo going on
that allows you to get a second program of mine for free when
you get The Leading Man.
Simply enter your choice of The Master Plan, The Difference,
Virtuosity, Online Dating Domination 2.0, or even Female
Persuasion in the specified field on the order page and I'll
send you BOTH.
You can even select The Man's Approach if you'd like. That'll
give you an amazing one-two combo of meeting women AND building
relationships with them.
You've only got about 24 hours left to take advantage of this
opportunity, so don't miss out.
=====
HOW DO OTHERS SEE YOU?
Let's talk some more about yet another way both men and women
completely hamstring themselves when it comes to gaining confidence
and meeting members of the opposite sex.
Today's angle is a particularly interesting one for two reasons.
First, and as is often the case, I've never heard or seen it
discussed anywhere else. At all.
Second, and importantly, the concept is undeniably useful no matter
who you are.
As a matter of fact, it's foundational to success with not only
members of the other sex but for LIFE in general.
As the title has already telegraphed, what we're talking about here
is discovering how to see yourself as others see you...and then
how to see others as they see themselves.
Imagine how powerful a skill that would be were you to acquire it.
You as a human being are in a remarkable position. Have you ever
considered how wild it truly is that out of six billion plus human
beings just like you on this planet, you will only ever see light
through the eyes of ONE of them?
You are confined to your own physical being, at least as far as the
laws of physics apply in this life.
The metaphysics of all this are, of course, a subject better suited
to some other newsletter that is not about dating and relationships.
Fair enough.
But since we ARE focused like a laser on your total, utter and
massive success in the dating world--up to and including complete
control over your dating life--you'd best believe that there is
tremendous value in exploring this concept more deeply from a
certain perspective.
So many of us are limited in our belief that we can possibly
deserve the kind of woman we want.
Going way beyond "approach anxiety"...going way beyond "getting
beat by a girl" and indeed way beyond anything you've ever heard
until now, it really can be safely assumed that much of the problem
is directly attributable to how you see yourself vs. how you see
others.
Since you know every intimate detail of your own thoughts, fears
and weaknesses--as well as your strengths, of course--you know all of
your own darkest secrets.
Every imperfection, every prurient thought, every doubt and indeed--
every single blasted thing that would cause you humiliating
embarrassment if others knew.
Armed with this knowledge, what do you do? You go out and become
completely disarmed by a "beautiful" and apparently "perfect"
creature of the opposite gender.
In your mind, she is flawless.
Then comes the vortex of self-doubt. "Oh man, I could never be in
HER league. She's a veritable vision of perfection...and I can't
even get into an elevator without feeling claustrophobic, come from
a foreign country, need a haircut, have a big nose, have spring
allergies, say stupid things when nervous, masturbate twice a day,
chew my toenails in private and once cheated on a math test."
So once again you talk yourself out of being successful.
Erstwhile, your "vision of perfection" is inside her own head
thinking, "Girl...get yourself TOGETHER! Your panty lines are
showing, you have stupid looking ears, are habitually late for
work, snort when you laugh, have two crooked teeth and wear contact
lenses. NO WONDER you've been DATELESS for a MONTH now!"
Crazy stuff, isn't it? If only we could see inside each other's
heads. Better yet, if only we could read the thoughts of others
regarding US.
Well, you can't do that, but here are three simple exercises you CAN
do:
1) Eliminate private knowledge as a "limiting factor" and take
notes regarding how others respond to you
First and foremost, realize that your private thoughts are NOT
public. Nobody else can evaluate you by them, so STOP using them
against yourself.
They do not exist in the minds of others because they CANNOT.
As such, realize that nobody can "see through you" as if
clairvoyant any more than you can "see through" them.
2) Objectively consider the comments you receive from people and their
behavior toward you.
Realize that one person's standalone opinion shouldn't be seen as
infallible, no matter WHO you are (or how hot she is, for that
matter).
Rather, where you see and/or hear patterns repeated, that's when
it's wise to take stock in what you're perceiving.
If pointing to ways you can better yourself, DO SO and deserve what
you want.
If you hear recurring positive comments and/or see recurring positive
reactions to your presence and/or interactions, begin to recognize
the truly positive manner in which others perceive you.
Similarly, if negative reactions come from various people--especially
if they're from different social circles (or are even total strangers)
then the patterns you see there should clearly signal where you
need to improve your social skills.
This sounds so simplistic, yet how many of us go home and obsess over
self-perceived "negatives" that we are repeatedly told are POSITIVES?
And how many of us beat our heads against the wall making the same
social mistakes over and over again?
If in doubt, begin to pay careful attention to this dynamic in your
life. Note the PATTERNS that you detect, and trust them.
3) Pretend you are walking in the shoes of someone you find
attractive
Okay, here's the "power ball". Ready?
My guess is that when you encounter someone who really motors your
sexual attraction levels, that person is actually more "perfectly
imperfect" than "perfect".
The next time you are practically paralyzed by attraction towards
someone, I want you pretend for a moment that you were THAT PERSON
instead of yourself.
In your darkest, most self-critical thoughts, what would you be most
self-conscious about?
Go ahead and in your blind attraction make an effort to approach that
concept with sober judgment.
You will likely identify an entire litany of faults and potential
attitudes that would make her VERY insecure, at least theoretically.
Ironically, you may find yourself recognizing traits and/or features
that some people may be self-critical about but which are at the same
time EXACTLY what is making you so hot for this chick.
It's strange for sure. But it is no less an EYE OPENER.
Ultimately, what we're really exposing here is a dark corner of
human ARROGANCE.
We somehow believe that our own self-pronounced judgments both
AGAINST ourselves and FOR others somehow carry greater weight than
everyone else's, don't we?
That's exactly what ends up limiting us, yet yours or mine is only
one of over six billion different perspectives--be that towards
ourselves or others.
Allow yourself to open up to seeing others' perspectives for a
change. Do so and enjoy the shock when you finally do meet
someone who knocks you out...and you realize very quickly as you get
to know her that many of the insecurities you saw from her
potential perspective are actually ACTIVELY present in theirs.
And feel the power and joy of being able to share with that person
what others--namely YOU--see instead. How cool is that?
Usually you'll hear me harp on deserving what you want. Today you
get a breather. Today I've let you in on a secret: You may
already deserve WAY, WAY more than you have been giving yourself
credit for.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
=====
(c) X & Y Communications, 2013. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.
Let's talk some more about yet another way both men and women
completely hamstring themselves when it comes to gaining confidence
and meeting members of the opposite sex.
Today's angle is a particularly interesting one for two reasons.
First, and as is often the case, I've never heard or seen it
discussed anywhere else. At all.
Second, and importantly, the concept is undeniably useful no matter
who you are.
As a matter of fact, it's foundational to success with not only
members of the other sex but for LIFE in general.
As the title has already telegraphed, what we're talking about here
is discovering how to see yourself as others see you...and then
how to see others as they see themselves.
Imagine how powerful a skill that would be were you to acquire it.
You as a human being are in a remarkable position. Have you ever
considered how wild it truly is that out of six billion plus human
beings just like you on this planet, you will only ever see light
through the eyes of ONE of them?
You are confined to your own physical being, at least as far as the
laws of physics apply in this life.
The metaphysics of all this are, of course, a subject better suited
to some other newsletter that is not about dating and relationships.
Fair enough.
But since we ARE focused like a laser on your total, utter and
massive success in the dating world--up to and including complete
control over your dating life--you'd best believe that there is
tremendous value in exploring this concept more deeply from a
certain perspective.
So many of us are limited in our belief that we can possibly
deserve the kind of woman we want.
Going way beyond "approach anxiety"...going way beyond "getting
beat by a girl" and indeed way beyond anything you've ever heard
until now, it really can be safely assumed that much of the problem
is directly attributable to how you see yourself vs. how you see
others.
Since you know every intimate detail of your own thoughts, fears
and weaknesses--as well as your strengths, of course--you know all of
your own darkest secrets.
Every imperfection, every prurient thought, every doubt and indeed--
every single blasted thing that would cause you humiliating
embarrassment if others knew.
Armed with this knowledge, what do you do? You go out and become
completely disarmed by a "beautiful" and apparently "perfect"
creature of the opposite gender.
In your mind, she is flawless.
Then comes the vortex of self-doubt. "Oh man, I could never be in
HER league. She's a veritable vision of perfection...and I can't
even get into an elevator without feeling claustrophobic, come from
a foreign country, need a haircut, have a big nose, have spring
allergies, say stupid things when nervous, masturbate twice a day,
chew my toenails in private and once cheated on a math test."
So once again you talk yourself out of being successful.
Erstwhile, your "vision of perfection" is inside her own head
thinking, "Girl...get yourself TOGETHER! Your panty lines are
showing, you have stupid looking ears, are habitually late for
work, snort when you laugh, have two crooked teeth and wear contact
lenses. NO WONDER you've been DATELESS for a MONTH now!"
Crazy stuff, isn't it? If only we could see inside each other's
heads. Better yet, if only we could read the thoughts of others
regarding US.
Well, you can't do that, but here are three simple exercises you CAN
do:
1) Eliminate private knowledge as a "limiting factor" and take
notes regarding how others respond to you
First and foremost, realize that your private thoughts are NOT
public. Nobody else can evaluate you by them, so STOP using them
against yourself.
They do not exist in the minds of others because they CANNOT.
As such, realize that nobody can "see through you" as if
clairvoyant any more than you can "see through" them.
2) Objectively consider the comments you receive from people and their
behavior toward you.
Realize that one person's standalone opinion shouldn't be seen as
infallible, no matter WHO you are (or how hot she is, for that
matter).
Rather, where you see and/or hear patterns repeated, that's when
it's wise to take stock in what you're perceiving.
If pointing to ways you can better yourself, DO SO and deserve what
you want.
If you hear recurring positive comments and/or see recurring positive
reactions to your presence and/or interactions, begin to recognize
the truly positive manner in which others perceive you.
Similarly, if negative reactions come from various people--especially
if they're from different social circles (or are even total strangers)
then the patterns you see there should clearly signal where you
need to improve your social skills.
This sounds so simplistic, yet how many of us go home and obsess over
self-perceived "negatives" that we are repeatedly told are POSITIVES?
And how many of us beat our heads against the wall making the same
social mistakes over and over again?
If in doubt, begin to pay careful attention to this dynamic in your
life. Note the PATTERNS that you detect, and trust them.
3) Pretend you are walking in the shoes of someone you find
attractive
Okay, here's the "power ball". Ready?
My guess is that when you encounter someone who really motors your
sexual attraction levels, that person is actually more "perfectly
imperfect" than "perfect".
The next time you are practically paralyzed by attraction towards
someone, I want you pretend for a moment that you were THAT PERSON
instead of yourself.
In your darkest, most self-critical thoughts, what would you be most
self-conscious about?
Go ahead and in your blind attraction make an effort to approach that
concept with sober judgment.
You will likely identify an entire litany of faults and potential
attitudes that would make her VERY insecure, at least theoretically.
Ironically, you may find yourself recognizing traits and/or features
that some people may be self-critical about but which are at the same
time EXACTLY what is making you so hot for this chick.
It's strange for sure. But it is no less an EYE OPENER.
Ultimately, what we're really exposing here is a dark corner of
human ARROGANCE.
We somehow believe that our own self-pronounced judgments both
AGAINST ourselves and FOR others somehow carry greater weight than
everyone else's, don't we?
That's exactly what ends up limiting us, yet yours or mine is only
one of over six billion different perspectives--be that towards
ourselves or others.
Allow yourself to open up to seeing others' perspectives for a
change. Do so and enjoy the shock when you finally do meet
someone who knocks you out...and you realize very quickly as you get
to know her that many of the insecurities you saw from her
potential perspective are actually ACTIVELY present in theirs.
And feel the power and joy of being able to share with that person
what others--namely YOU--see instead. How cool is that?
Usually you'll hear me harp on deserving what you want. Today you
get a breather. Today I've let you in on a secret: You may
already deserve WAY, WAY more than you have been giving yourself
credit for.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
=====
(c) X & Y Communications, 2013. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.