[X&Y] Dirty Little Secrets (Sample Chapter)
Published: Mon, 06/17/13
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IN THIS EDITION: Here's another sample chapter from my new book
Most Valuable Player.
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DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS
[Ed. Note: Today I've got another "sneak preview" of my brand
new book Most Valuable Player, coming tomorrow at 5pm EDT to
Amazon. You can get a first look at the cover here, if you
haven't already:
http://www.themostvaluableplayer.com
By now I've finished the final edits and it's almost ready to go.
In the meantime, enjoy this sample chapter, which has been re-
formatted as a newsletter for your convenience...]
It's safe to say that we've all done stuff that we're not proud of.
That sort of goes along with human existence.
However, I think it's also a safe bet to assume that the vast
majority of us gain some wisdom along the way. As such, sooner
than later we tend to stop doing things that we know AHEAD OF TIME
are going to lead to shame...or worse, regret.
That's true, at least, until we start letting our "small head"
start thinking for our "big head". When it comes to MOTOS (members
of the other sex) some of us NEVER develop the willpower to resist
inviting problems.
That means we keep throwing monkey wrenches into our lives time and
time again, only to go back for more trouble where the last batch
came from.
Man, most of the stories I've heard about the regrettable
situations people have gotten themselves into just for the sake of
"hooking up" are so gnarly they'd make a train take a dirt road.
But deep down, if we're honest with ourselves we already know
when we're treading onto such dangerous territory voluntarily, don't
we?
The key indicator of that is that we KEEP EVERYTHING A SECRET.
So then, my message to you in this chapter is a disarmingly simple
one: If you feel like you need to keep a relationship with any
particular woman a secret, RUN AWAY.
There, how easy was that?
What's that you say? You want examples of how we as guys tend to
get into trouble in this area?
No problem. I can oblige. Here are several:
1) One Or Both Of You Is "Taken"
According to the reports of many who partake, extra-marital trysts
are exciting BECAUSE they're clandestine. The "taboo" makes
everything that much hotter.
But such flings often come at a TREMENDOUS cost, often sooner than
later. Families get broken. Lawyers run off with a fortune at the
expense of those involved. Sometimes dudes even get shot.
And even if the parties involved aren't married to whomever they're
cheating on, it's a well-known fact that vengeful ex-boyfriends or
ex-girlfriends can make one's life a living hell.
Cheaters know the ultimate consequences, but for some reason they
cheat anyway. However, the simple fact that they don't want ANYONE
to ever find out about what's going on is a dead giveaway that they
know they shouldn't be "going there" to begin with.
2) You're Embarrassed
Let's say both you and the woman you've been seeing are perfectly
"available". That's great.
But if you're embarrassed to be seen in public with her and/or
don't want any of your friends to find out about her, then here's
the most likely conclusion to be drawn: you're settling.
The potential humiliation we as guys dread so much in cases like
this might stem from the simple notion that we KNOW we should raise
the bar higher.
We KNOW we deserve better. And amazingly, we KNOW just about
everyone around us knows that as well. Yet, we somehow don't have
the courage to approach a woman we truly desire and lead
accordingly.
Or, hey...there's actually as second potential explanation at play
here. It could just be that we fear embarrassment because we're
uncomfortable with our own taste in women vis-à-vis the
media-driven image of "beauty" that we believe everyone else
idealizes.
If that's the case, we should make it a point to get over ourselves
and stop being influenced by others to date women we're not really
attracted to.
Oddly, we may find that everything turns out fine--and that our
friends and families actually see her as a total "gem" like we do.
But that will never be known for sure unless we overcome our
insecurities. Believe me when I say that the woman you're dating
will be ESPECIALLY appreciative.
3) She's Bad For You, And You Know It
No matter what the "early warning" signs are, some guys are going
to keep diving right into relationships with POISONOUS women. Why?
Because she looks too good to resist, that's why.
But even as guys throw "caution to the wind" in that regard, they
know EXACTLY what the people in their life with clearer heads are
going to say. Therefore, they simply keep the relationship a
secret.
Essentially, they already know she's either a raging alcoholic, a
total psycho, mean to waiters and/or just flat-out tasteless. That
only means they dread having anyone who really cares about them
corroborate the truth they're already aware of.
4) You're Bad For Her, And Everyone Else Knows It
This is perhaps the most fascinating one of all. Yet, as crazy as
it's going to sound, I know for a fact what I'm about to share with
you goes on.
By now you know that I'm all about facing the past and doing what
it takes to be the most excellent version of your authentic self
going forward. Well, PLENTY of men out there really couldn't give
a flip about that.
Character means nothing to them. Rather, they're content to
continue being the kind of guy who's NOT ready to be one half of a
great relationship.
That can be due to all sorts of factors, really. Maybe a
particular guy is lazy, jobless and has no ambition to change
things.
Perhaps his view on women is very negative and therefore his
intentions for women he dates are less than honorable. Or it
could be that he's got addictions, debts and/or other "demons" that
should be dealt with--but are instead left alone to smolder and rage
on.
The breathtaking part, however, is that people (men OR women,
really) who MOTOS should avoid like the plague usually KNOW that's
the case. Isn't that straight-up crazy and somewhat tragic at the
same time?
When you add it all up, it means that people who aren't yet
deserving what they want in a "significant other" tend to keep
their male/female escapades private.
Have you come to the conclusion by now that what we've discussed in
this chapter is no way to live?
Ultimately, unless we can hold our heads up and be PROUD of the
women we're associating with AND the nature of our relationships
with them, we're living life in FEAR. It's true.
FEAR of regret. FEAR of being found out. FEAR of social
embarrassment. FEAR of very real negative consequences. FEAR of
loss, even.
The proper antidote to that fear is, of course CHARACTER. A true
"Big Four" man understands that he's got to have a solid world view
and stick to it.
Consider this: doing the right thing even when nobody else is
looking means NEVER having to "keep secrets" again. As the fear so
directly associated with those dark secrets melts away, true
FREEDOM fills in the space where it used to reside in our soul.
As an old Spanish proverb states, "A life lived in fear is a life
half-lived".
But in contrast, a life lived according to strong character is a
life lived without ever having to look over one's shoulder ever
again.
It's always better in every conceivable way to do what it takes to
be the "man in demand" with high quality women, and then to boldly
choose the women we really belong with based on our strong sense of
self-worth, self-respect and--of course--self-confidence.
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Obviously, you can look forward to much, much more once the new
book is released tomorrow at 5pm EDT (GMT -4).
For now, I can tell you that it'll be $4.99 on Amazon, you won't
need an actual Kindle device to read it and YES...once again I'll
be handing over another ten FREE audios to go along with the book.
Stay tuned...
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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