[X&Y] When She Says, "It Doesn't Matter"
Published: Mon, 08/26/13
=====
WHAT'S INSIDE: What does a woman REALLY mean when you suggest
something and she says, "It doesn't matter"?
=====
NEW BOOK COMING ON WEDNESDAY: STOP CHASING, START CHOOSING
As promised, I've been working long hours to get my latest book
ready for you.
And I'm sure some of you have already taken one look at that
title and said, "It's about time."
It may be long overdue, but here--at last--is a clear and complete
guide to being a man with OPTIONS who has FULL CONTROL over his
dating life.
Every single day I hear from men all over the world who STILL
believe that women have ALL the power and call ALL the shots.
But that's about to change. Starting on Wednesday afternoon,
you'll know everything there is to know about how to be one of
the rare men who even the sharpest women realize will NEVER
beg or grovel to them.
You can leave the desperate, needy chasing to everyone else.
Suffice it to say that high quality women actually like you
BETTER that way.
I'll save the details for later, but for now I can tell you
this:
1) I'm including ten premium audios with the package again.
2) It'll be on Amazon, but you don't need an actual Kindle
device to enjoy it.
3) It won't break the bank, even though it's a full-length
book.
4) My cover artist is a madman.
The book itself is a hybrid, of sorts. I've compiled my very
best work on the subject of choosing vs. chasing into one
volume, combining it with plenty of brand new content.
More later...
Oh, and I almost forgot. If you're in the Power Sessions
inner circle be sure to watch your inbox around lunchtime
tomorrow. I've got a nice surprise for you.
=====
WHEN SHE SAYS, "IT DOESN'T MATTER"
I know you LOVE practical tips, so here's a particularly powerful
one for you guys that I've never before heard discussed elsewhere.
Picture this. You're out with a woman you don't know very well.
Maybe it's a first date.
You've finished up at your first stop and things are going well, so
you suggest going somewhere else instead of taking her home early.
OR...maybe you're on the phone with a woman PLANNING the
all-important first date.
Either way, when you make a suggestion she gives you a VERY typical
answer:
"It doesn't matter."
On the surface, this is frustrating to hear.
It sure sounds like she's leaving you hanging...giving you NOTHING to
work with in the moment but sheer ambiguity.
But that's not really true. In reality, "It doesn't matter" is
about the BEST answer you could ever hope for.
Why is that?
Let's break it down.
You've just suggested that the two of you either MAKE PLANS or
EXTEND the plans that are already underway, right?
Were she NOT into you at all--would she leave things so apparently
"open ended"?
Nope. She'd say something to the effect of, "Well, you know...I have
to get up early so let's just go home", or "Nah...I've got plans for
the next fourteen weeks solid."
This is human nature of the non-gender-specific variety, isn't it?
When you're NOT interested in taking someone up on his or her
suggested plan you make your opinion known, right?
You bet you do.
So when she responds to your suggestion to hang out with you in the
form of, "it doesn't matter", what she's REALLY saying is, "YES...I'd
LOVE to!"
I hear what you're probably asking. "So Scot, how come she doesn't
just SAY so?"
Granted, some women are bold and confident (and some would even say
unwise) enough to blurt out, "Sure. That sounds great."
But the reason why many women say, "it doesn't matter" instead is
TWOFOLD.
First, remember this: Women are being taught to avoid appearing
needy and clingy JUST like we are. They know that over-eagerness
is an attraction killer.
Throwing the ball back in our court keeps them from looking
desperate, doesn't it?
But more importantly, I'd argue, her responding to our suggestion
with, "it doesn't matter" is a STRONG message to us that she wants
US to take the lead.
That's right. She wants US to make the plan.
She does NOT want to take that role because she sees it as YOURS.
You are the man...and when YOU make plans and direct the date
accordingly, it's a builds ATTRACTION.
You see that dynamic at work?
"It doesn't matter" is actually BETTER than a straightforward "yes"
because she's demonstrating she knows how to present herself with
high value.
PLUS, she's freely offering you the opportunity to MAN UP and
ignite her femininity.
It's all pretty fascinating when you think about it...especially
considering that we as men tend to throw in the towel and assume
the worst whenever we hear, "it doesn't matter".
Based on what I can tell, we do that a STAGGERING percentage of the
time.
But misreading this scenario is particularly tragic because you
BOTH end up disappointed...every single time.
Forget that noise.
Next time she says, "it doesn't matter" consider yourself prepared.
By the way, if you sense things are going well and want to make
plans with a woman, be careful to make a firm suggestion rather
than asking her what she wants to do.
Say, "That was fun. Let's go get a drink now because it's still
early."
That's better than, "Would you like to go get a drink now or do you
want me to take you home?"
Either way you could get the same, "it doesn't matter" answer, no
doubt. But the first version above conveys masculine confidence
far more effectively than the latter.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2013. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly (and promptly) remove you from our mailing list.
As promised, I've been working long hours to get my latest book
ready for you.
And I'm sure some of you have already taken one look at that
title and said, "It's about time."
It may be long overdue, but here--at last--is a clear and complete
guide to being a man with OPTIONS who has FULL CONTROL over his
dating life.
Every single day I hear from men all over the world who STILL
believe that women have ALL the power and call ALL the shots.
But that's about to change. Starting on Wednesday afternoon,
you'll know everything there is to know about how to be one of
the rare men who even the sharpest women realize will NEVER
beg or grovel to them.
You can leave the desperate, needy chasing to everyone else.
Suffice it to say that high quality women actually like you
BETTER that way.
I'll save the details for later, but for now I can tell you
this:
1) I'm including ten premium audios with the package again.
2) It'll be on Amazon, but you don't need an actual Kindle
device to enjoy it.
3) It won't break the bank, even though it's a full-length
book.
4) My cover artist is a madman.
The book itself is a hybrid, of sorts. I've compiled my very
best work on the subject of choosing vs. chasing into one
volume, combining it with plenty of brand new content.
More later...
Oh, and I almost forgot. If you're in the Power Sessions
inner circle be sure to watch your inbox around lunchtime
tomorrow. I've got a nice surprise for you.
=====
WHEN SHE SAYS, "IT DOESN'T MATTER"
I know you LOVE practical tips, so here's a particularly powerful
one for you guys that I've never before heard discussed elsewhere.
Picture this. You're out with a woman you don't know very well.
Maybe it's a first date.
You've finished up at your first stop and things are going well, so
you suggest going somewhere else instead of taking her home early.
OR...maybe you're on the phone with a woman PLANNING the
all-important first date.
Either way, when you make a suggestion she gives you a VERY typical
answer:
"It doesn't matter."
On the surface, this is frustrating to hear.
It sure sounds like she's leaving you hanging...giving you NOTHING to
work with in the moment but sheer ambiguity.
But that's not really true. In reality, "It doesn't matter" is
about the BEST answer you could ever hope for.
Why is that?
Let's break it down.
You've just suggested that the two of you either MAKE PLANS or
EXTEND the plans that are already underway, right?
Were she NOT into you at all--would she leave things so apparently
"open ended"?
Nope. She'd say something to the effect of, "Well, you know...I have
to get up early so let's just go home", or "Nah...I've got plans for
the next fourteen weeks solid."
This is human nature of the non-gender-specific variety, isn't it?
When you're NOT interested in taking someone up on his or her
suggested plan you make your opinion known, right?
You bet you do.
So when she responds to your suggestion to hang out with you in the
form of, "it doesn't matter", what she's REALLY saying is, "YES...I'd
LOVE to!"
I hear what you're probably asking. "So Scot, how come she doesn't
just SAY so?"
Granted, some women are bold and confident (and some would even say
unwise) enough to blurt out, "Sure. That sounds great."
But the reason why many women say, "it doesn't matter" instead is
TWOFOLD.
First, remember this: Women are being taught to avoid appearing
needy and clingy JUST like we are. They know that over-eagerness
is an attraction killer.
Throwing the ball back in our court keeps them from looking
desperate, doesn't it?
But more importantly, I'd argue, her responding to our suggestion
with, "it doesn't matter" is a STRONG message to us that she wants
US to take the lead.
That's right. She wants US to make the plan.
She does NOT want to take that role because she sees it as YOURS.
You are the man...and when YOU make plans and direct the date
accordingly, it's a builds ATTRACTION.
You see that dynamic at work?
"It doesn't matter" is actually BETTER than a straightforward "yes"
because she's demonstrating she knows how to present herself with
high value.
PLUS, she's freely offering you the opportunity to MAN UP and
ignite her femininity.
It's all pretty fascinating when you think about it...especially
considering that we as men tend to throw in the towel and assume
the worst whenever we hear, "it doesn't matter".
Based on what I can tell, we do that a STAGGERING percentage of the
time.
But misreading this scenario is particularly tragic because you
BOTH end up disappointed...every single time.
Forget that noise.
Next time she says, "it doesn't matter" consider yourself prepared.
By the way, if you sense things are going well and want to make
plans with a woman, be careful to make a firm suggestion rather
than asking her what she wants to do.
Say, "That was fun. Let's go get a drink now because it's still
early."
That's better than, "Would you like to go get a drink now or do you
want me to take you home?"
Either way you could get the same, "it doesn't matter" answer, no
doubt. But the first version above conveys masculine confidence
far more effectively than the latter.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2013. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly (and promptly) remove you from our mailing list.