[X&Y] What To Do When Women Ask CRAZY Questions
Published: Wed, 11/13/13
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IN THIS EDITION: Out of nowhere she asks you a question that stops
you dead in your tracks. How do you think quickly so as to stay calm and collected, but without blurting out a disastrous answer?
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CAN YOU REALLY CONTROL THE "ATTRACTION SENSORS" IN THE FEMALE MIND?
I know what you're thinking. "Wouldn't THAT be nice."
Well, it is:
I've got to hand it to this guy.
He's not only figured out how to "activate" a woman's sexual
attraction mechanism, he can show you how to do the exact same
thing.
You've just got to take a look at this:
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WHAT TO DO WHEN WOMEN ASK CRAZY QUESTIONS
It went on for probably thousands of years.
A man would meet a woman. The woman would ask simple questions.
The man would answer.
Then the woman would follow up with the STICKIER questions.
At that point, the man would get the "deer in the headlights
look".
Then, along came David DeAngelo et al who offered a disarmingly
elegant solution: Never give a woman a straight answer.
And as crazy as it sounded, the truth was that such a strategy
often worked...AMAZINGLY well.
For starters, it kept first and second dates from degenerating into
"job interviews".
And let me tell you, as much as you and I know how much those kind
of "dates" S-U-C-K (capital letters intentional), I've met two more
"lady gurus" within the last two weeks alone who actually go around
TEACHING women to ask a bunch of hardball questions on first dates.
As if that's how women endear themselves to us. Nice advice, huh?
So yes...women will come at you with zingers like, "How much money
do you make per year?" WAY, WAY sooner than you might think.
And to give a straight answer in such situations may just lead
to even CRAZIER questions early on.
Heck, there may BE NO "right" answer to some of them, especially
the ones about sexual experience. No matter WHAT you tell her
she's not going to want to hear it.
So why does she ask? Believe me, I'd like to know also.
But posing that question directly is probably the WRONG direction
to go, if you get right down to it.
So is, "You first", by the way. She may just answer. Then what?
If you ask me, the proper recommendation remains to inject humor
into the scenario and give her an outrageously funny and
unreasonable pseudo-answer:
Her: "How many women have you slept with?"
Him: "Oh, let me see... Nine thousand, four hundred--no wait, TEN
thousand SIX hundred and one. Make that two." [followed by
three seconds of a straight face, then a wry smile punctuated with
laughter and shaking your head]
Or how about this gem?
Her: "When was the last time you had sex?"
Him: [looks at watch] "Two hours and thirty...[pause]...seven
minutes ago."
Guys, there's no doubt about it. If you ARE NOT about lying to
women, then you've got to BE 100% ABOUT knowing how to change the
subject when women ask questions on dates that they DO NOT want to
hear the answer to.
You never, ever owe a stranger your life story up front.
And if she's fishing for all the negatives before giving herself
any opportunity to find out the positives, then that may be all
you need to know about her.
Here's a secret: A mature, high quality woman is not going to
press you into divulging information she knows she doesn't want to
hear.
A man and a woman on a date should first figure out if they even
LIKE each other's company before drilling down to the depths of the
netherworld of sexual pasts, annual income, political leanings and
so forth.
Now if you're hiding the fact that you still live with your parents
...or that you've done ten years of hard time ...or that you're STILL
MARRIED, I can't help you.
You're on your own there. She's probably going to need to know
those things sometime before things get too serious. Sorry, man.
But here's the part that I think is particularly crazy.
It has occurred to me that A LOT of guys take this whole bit about
"not giving women straight answers" a bit too far.
They apply the strategy to ANY and EVERY question a woman asks, not
just the ones for which there is no good answer.
Look, I completely get that if you let her manhandle the
conversation with a bunch of Q & A, you're handing over your
masculine power and WILL NOT be respected as a man who can lead.
But even so, I'd say you'd better have a bit more depth to your
portfolio of situational wisdom than simply "avoiding direct
answers".
Here's a pair of examples to illustrate what I mean:
Her: "So, what do you do for a living?"
Him: "Oh, I'm a 'diesel fitter'."
Her: "Really? What's that?"
Him: "I inspect the panty hose at the department store and say,
'diesel fitter'."
Her: "Seriously. What's your real job?"
Him: "I work at Six Flags directing traffic. At the bumper cars."
Similarly:
Her: "So, do you have a girlfriend?"
Him: "Girlfriend? I'm way past that. I'm married."
Her: "Seriously?"
Him: "Actually, I've got FIVE WIVES. I like watching them fight
over me. Fun stuff."
Unfortunately, I've received emails recounting situations VERY
SIMILAR to each of the two above within the past week or so.
And in the real world, both guys DID NOT get a second date.
In fact, the women pretty much DISAPPEARED off the face of the
Earth after the first date.
FAIL. And why?
Well, simply put, when you don't give a straight answer when a
straight answer is absolutely called for, you leave the woman with
no choice other than to ASSUME THE WORST.
Now granted, when you change the subject and/or refuse to give an
answer to the sexually incriminating questions, she'll probably
assume the worst also.
But at least she may have the presence of mind to realize you were
in fact kind enough to spare her the conversation...for now, at least.
When it comes down to appearing JOBLESS or MARRIED though, you'll
generally find women are WAY LESS forgiving.
The sad part here?
In the "real world" versions of the examples I just gave, the first
guy had a great job, and the second wasn't even seeing any other
women besides the one he was with.
So they retained their "power"...I guess...but they LOST the woman.
And the tragic part is that the REAL POWER was really present in
the correct answers, wasn't it?
Being a great guy with a good job is PREFERABLE to being jobless,
isn't it?
And being eligible is WAY SUPERIOR in the eyes of a quality woman
to being a cheater...isn't it?
Think about it...why fail to leverage all that power in favor of
withholding straight answers?
Why think "defense" and keep your "offense" riding the bench?
It's silly when you think about it, isn't it?
What then is the practical solution here?
How do we keep control of the conversation, but make sure the
POSITIVE FACTS about ourselves are clearly articulated?
This is where you've simply got to change your mindset.
That means looking at the gray area. It doesn't have to be
black or white.
What you do is give her the FUNNY, ENTERTAINING answer FIRST, let
her respond, THEN share the real answer.
Example:
Her: "What do you do for a living?"
Him: "Well, I used to transport illegal aliens from Guatemala via
18-wheeler, but it stopped being so lucrative after I forgot to
leave the air vent open that one time."
Her: [speechless...slackjawed...finally laughing out loud] "Yes,
well I can imagine you've probably been bogged down in legal stuff
since that fateful moment, huh?" [giggles]
Him: "Yeah, pretty rough going. So I've had to go back to being a
regional marketing manager for XYZ company to pay the bills."
Her: "Oh, okay...I see." [still laughing]
Him: "But I sure do miss the open road..."
You can see how in this situation you keep control of the flow of
the conversation while being utterly entertaining.
All the while, you are sending a subtle message that interview
questions on first dates are a pretty lame idea. Do you see how
that is sub-communicated?
Meanwhile, and perhaps more importantly you've clearly demonstrated
that you're going to be able to field whatever she hits your way
like you're friggin' Brooks Robinson (or at least Manny Machado).
And THAT, my good man, leads to FEWER HARD QUESTIONS.
After all, you will have demonstrated an ability to inspire her
confidence, all in concert with exerting your own masculine
confidence.
But best of all, what if this was all a non-issue?
What if you actually kept your "powder dry" enough to have good,
solid answers to women's questions...even the sexual ones? Well,
that's called CHARACTER.
Get all of that down, and you'll have hammered home the kind of
"big four" guy you are.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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