[X&Y] What To Do If You're Just "Painting By Numbers"

Published: Sat, 12/07/13



=====

IN THIS EDITION:  Is the "paint by numbers" approach enough to get
you somewhere with women?  Possibly, at least in the short term.
But why not turn your skills with women into a true work of art
instead?

=====



WHAT TO DO IF YOU'RE JUST "PAINTING BY NUMBERS"


Listen up.  I fully understand that we all want quick and dirty
answers in life.

We tend to respond eagerly to marketing messages that tell us how
our pain "isn't our fault" and that the cure is as easy as falling
out of bed in the morning.

We all want the "Easy Button", right?

There's only one problem with all of that.

The proposed solutions rarely work, especially over the long term.

Sure, if you're starting from Square One when it comes to your
skills with women, some very objective basics can work wonders. 

If you've never done a cold approach before, the right opener can
indeed change that for you.

If you need a better grasp of when a woman is ready to be kissed,
knowing the signs to watch out for (e.g. her playfulness, touching
and/or getting closer to you) can work wonders.

But let's face it.  If, for example, you've got 50 pounds to lose
it's not going to "melt off overnight". 

If you want to get rich, it's not going to happen within the next
two weeks as you drink pina-coladas while relaxing on the beach.

And if you really want to attract high-quality women and manage
relationships with them in masterful fashion, you just can't recite
a bunch of lines.

Yet, even as some guys aspire to be "artists" (pickup or
otherwise), what they sometimes really settle for is PAINTING BY
NUMBERS.

And painting by numbers isn't exactly "art", now is it?

I see this sort of thing all the time.  Guys are following very
objective steps "by the book" according to what they've seen or
read somewhere--anywhere--and not understanding why the desired
results aren't happening.

It can take several forms.  Perhaps there's the "cocky" without the
"funny", resulting in a guy wondering why women aren't responding
to raw insults with "instant, uncontrollable attraction".

Or maybe "Mr. Nice Guy" reads about how "women love jerks" and
swings his pendulum to the opposite extreme, only to be left more
bitter toward women than ever.

All of this is the result of reading or hearing random bits and
pieces on "how to pickup women" and attempting to apply them in a
linear fashion to every single situation with every woman.

It ends even more poorly when guys attempt to apply a half-baked
understanding of those strategies--even if the teaching is perfectly
solid.  Ouch.

You know what?  I don't think most guys who are underperforming
with women are bad guys.  I don't even believe they're necessarily
as bad with women as they think they are.

The truth is that guys like that are probably only doing what
they THINK they read was the right thing to do.  But their
understanding itself might very well be flawed.

With practice, they might learn what isn't working (the hard way)
and get more effective with women.  And hey, at least they're
actually practicing instead of just sitting around reading. 

I give any guy in such a situation all the credit in the world for
that.

But where paint-by-numbers will turn into true artistry for him
(and indeed for any other guy) is when he realizes that objective
strategies ultimately won't cut it with women.

After all, women are human beings like we as men are.  That means
applying some of the more subjective truths about social skill,
character and masculine presence in general has got to take
precedence over any step-by-step tactics.

You can begin to "see the light" here by putting the proverbial
shoe on the other foot. 

For starters, if WE wouldn't respond positively to what we're
saying to women, there's solid reason to believe THEY won't either.

Similarly, if WE would feel pushed and/or swindled if treated a
certain way, we shouldn't exactly expect women to get the "warm
fuzzies" if we feed them the same.

This all isn't necessarily hard to grasp, it simply means that we
have to be a bit more flexible in our ability (and even our
willingness) to meet the challenge of interacting with every woman
we meet (and indeed, EVERYONE we meet) on an individual basis.

We've also got to actually LIKE women in order to expect them to
LIKE us back.  They follow our lead, remember?

But you can't recite from of a manual.  And you can't FORCE that
leadership on them.

So how about it?  Can you put aside the "paint by numbers
approach", even if it potentially means leaving your
comfort/familiarity zone with women?

Can you trust your genuine, authentic "big four" self to come
through for you on the fly every time you're with a new and
uniquely individual woman?

Once again, this comes down to making a woman feel comfortable
in your presence.

It's also about igniting her femininity with your masculinity even
as you respect her basic inalienable rights as a fellow human
being--without pushing, without cajoling.

You've got to believe your personality WORKS, whether you are in
the presence of a woman you are attracted to or not.

If your mindset is such, you are well on your way to leaving the
"paint by numbers" approach behind and achieving true artistry.

Have a great weekend, guys.


Be Good,

Scot McKay


P.S.  Tomorrow I have a MAJOR announcement for you.  Ahead of
that announcement, I strongly suggest finding 30 minutes of
time within the next week or so that you can set aside.

You'll thank me for this.




=====




(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2013.  All Rights Reserved.


This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it.  If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly (and promptly) remove you from our mailing list.