[X&Y] Getting Her Number While She's Working [Reader Question]
Published: Sun, 01/19/14
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IN THIS EDITION: Yes. It's appropriate to meet a woman
while she's working...as long as you go about it the right way.
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BE THE "WHOLE PACKAGE"
Just this morning I was in a conversation with one of you about
what women really, truly respond to.
And I got to thinking.
We can talk about techniques and tips all day long. We can draw up
gameplans and blueprints for the steps to attraction, etc., etc.
But when you get right down to it, if you're the RIGHT MAN all you
really have to do is grace high quality women with your presence
and the rest really, truly takes care of itself.
And the more breathtakingly feminine and fantastically sexy a woman
is, the MORE that rings true.
Masculinity is what magnetizes femininity...those are the very building
blocks of sexual polarity.
Ignite femininity and you just straight-up never have to push
things with women in order to make them happen. You'll never again have to figure out what to say first. You might
not even have to approach her. It's probably even okay if you
still miss the kind of flirtatious signals sometimes that are
"obvious" to others.
But that said, I WILL say this. If you can add a layer of "utterly
amazing" to your natural masculine presence, you'll become
UNSTOPPABLE.
That's a word that's kicked around quite a bit, but know this:
it's the RIGHT word to describe the phenomenon I'm talking about.
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men NEVER really, quite "get".
Do that and you'll have the "whole package", right?
Well, as fortune would have it my flagship program The Master Plan
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You'll be digging into both of them today, and putting the secrets
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This opportunity is yours until tomorrow night at 11:59 PST. Bold
action is rewarded with big results. Always.And now, let's hear from Barry in California who asks about how
to meet women when they're "on the clock"...
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LETTER FROM A READER
Hey Scot,
There is a woman that I really want to meet. Well, in a way I have
already kind of met her.
This is the deal. She works in a retail capacity (not a clothing
store). I've only been to the store she works at a couple of times
but the last two times she has helped me and we've carried on a
short conversation and I feel a huge spark of energy/attraction
when we are talking.
The last time I was at the store she made mention that she had an
"ex" and kind of signaled that she was single without really saying
it flat out.
So I wanted to get your opinion on how to get her number.
First off, is approaching a woman at her workplace inappropriate? I
really have no other idea on how I would talk to this girl outside
of her work since that is the only time I have seen her.
And since the store she works at is usually very busy I do not want
to start having a conversation with her and then try to pull her
aside.
I noticed that her supervisor is usually within a couple of feet
from her and I don't want to maybe get her in trouble if she is
seen "fraternizing" at work.
You know what I mean?
Anyways man, any advice you could give me would be greatly
appreciated and I want to say thank you in advance for your time
and effort.
Barry (Rancho Cucamonga, CA)
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Hello Barry:
YES...you absolutely, positively CAN meet a woman when she's
working.
Yours is a great question because approaching a woman in her
workplace is something guys tend to worry about WAY more than is
warranted.
Sometimes we're concerned about getting her in trouble, other times
we get the sneaking feeling that she's a "hired gun" and is
therefore quite possibly just being "nice" and/or flirting with us
for that reason.
Here's my take on that.
Interestingly, and perhaps contrary to conventional wisdom, if
anything I've noticed that women sometimes SUPPRESS signs of
attraction when at work rather than vice-versa.
When you think about your concern for getting her in trouble this
makes perfect sense because some bosses (especially in retail or
food service) really can be a bit "heavy handed" due to low-grade
egotism, jealousy toward the attention you're giving the woman,
etc.
But the opposite scenario, where the woman is falsely projecting
attraction, is a lot less common than most guys assume. In fact,
it's rare.
Only in very specific situations where flirting is part of the
decorum of the establishment do you ever have to second-guess
yourself in this regard AT ALL.
But overall, I'm telling you...women are comfort seeking creatures
and they generally won't sacrifice personal dignity for a better
tip, sales commissions, or in the name of simple customer service.
In the end, most guys use assumptions about "hired guns" as an
excuse to--you guessed it--FAIL TO DEPLOY.
In my experience, I've come to realize that women will respond to
"big four" leadership with a very certain behavioral pattern,
regardless of circumstances, including when they're on the clock.
In other words, they'll smile a little longer, stick around in
conversations a little longer, and drop subtle hints like unto what
you've noticed.
Importantly, they'll also TURN UP their femininity and put it on
full display for you. And when a woman does that, you can bet
she's sexually attracted to you.
Trust your instincts in these situations, and don't psych yourself
out. Regardless of what you've been told, you can be every bit as
intuitive as any woman if you allow yourself to be. Your gut
feelings are just as reliable.
So how do you get the heavy lifting done here?
If you sense her nearby boss is a threat to the situation for
either of you, simply get the attention of the woman you're
interested in and ask her to help you with something in another
corner of the store.
If that appears to be unworkable because of the size of the
establishment or because her boss hovers, send her boss to the
back to check on something for you or on some other distracting
task.
Then, you've got to assume there's VERY LITTLE time to work with.
Respecting her time whether she's actually busy or not--or
whether her boss will be back faster than you think or not--is a
great idea no matter what.
Tell the woman you acknowledge that time is short, and you'd like
to continue the conversation with her later. Tell her to give you
her number, and tell her when you'll call her.
That way she can know to pick up the phone when it rings around
that time.
When you see signs of attraction like you mentioned there is NO
NEED for phone-related games (as if there ever really is, right?)
She likes you, so all she really needs to know is what to expect.
That way you improve your OWN chances of not getting her voicemail.
From there, she's a red-blooded woman like every other (as she has
been all along, right?) Call her up later as planned and sweep her off her
feet.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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