[X&Y] Why We've Stopped Making "New Year's Resolutions" (And It's Not What You Think)

Published: Wed, 01/01/14




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WHAT'S INSIDE:  Today you've probably already heard a lot about
"New Year's Resolutions".  Here's a completely different (and more
effective) way to look at it (along with some "resolution
resources").
 
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WHY WE'VE STOPPED MAKING "NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS" (AND IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK)


The idea of making a "New Year's resolution" is one of the most
tired, old, worn out traditions I can think of. 

Every January 1st we all make one.  And by about January 10th
we've all usually given up on it (or flat-out forgotten about it) already.

I think I've figured out why this is the case.

Simply, it's because the question, "What's your New Year's
resolution?" has become as much of a default during the first week
of January as asking "How are you?" when greeting someone.

And like we do for the latter question, we make sure we have a
shiny, positive answer ready for the former.

This means, of course, that HAVING an answer is more important
than CARING about the answer.

So in a sense, "resolutions" are cheap this time of year.

Sure, we can know deep down that getting the job done would be a
good idea.  But if the heavy lifting ultimately mattered little
to us until now, what's going to make January 1st any different?

Having ruminated upon all of this, I've (ironically enough) decided
to come up with a New Year's resolution this year anyway...albeit a
radically different one than usual.

Actually, it's a two-part resolution, but bear with me.

First, I resolve to make more resolutions more often, all year
long.  That is, I'm making a "resolution to resolve".

And going along with that, I resolve to KEEP my resolutions.

Essentially, what I'm aiming to do is form a HABIT of intentionally
improving every aspect of my being that could use it.  No more
"one and done" resolutions that the calendar coerced me into
making.

And further, I'm going to SHOW SOME CHARACTER and actually
DO what I tell myself I'm going to do.

Now, what I'm about to say next may be like dropping a bomb.  I know
it seemed like that for me when the light bulb went on earlier this
morning.

Here it is:  If I can't make good on promises I make to MYSELF,
then why should I be trusted to make promises to anyone else?

Surely, if I let MYSELF down on a regular basis (and I live here),
then why should ANYONE ELSE think I'd come through for them?

Either I am a man of character whose actions follow his words, or
I'm NOT.

When thought about that way, it's a true game changer for the whole
idea of making "resolutions". 

After all, "resolution" is virtually synonymous with "promise". 

And here's the craziest part of all. 

"Character", remember, is one of the "big four".

So in a very real way, making a resolution to KEEP your resolutions
actually IS--in and of itself--a resolution to get better with
women.  See how that works?

Furthermore, ambition, motivation and passion ATTRACT women.
They're MASCULINE traits, as defined by women themselves.

A man with a goal and a confident plan for accomplishing it in turn
inspires confidence in a woman.  So making a "resolution to
resolve" fits that persona hand-in-glove.

Roll up everything we're discussing here and you've got the "big
four" (masculinity, confidence, making women feel safe and comfortable
in your presence, character) covered.

Did I get your attention yet?

Perhaps you were expecting me to give you some "rah-rah" pep talk
about how you should resolve to get better with women in 2014, like
every other dating coach is doing today.

And rest assured, I JUST DID.  Far be it from me to disappoint you.
 
But before I close, I want to share something else with you that's
relevant to this conversation, and that you may find as
particularly intriguing as I do.

Whenever a guy begins a Ten-Plus program with me, I give him what
I call an Initial Assignment.

As you may be aware, Ten-Plus is a guided 1-on-1 coaching plan
that's customized for each individual to take him from where he is
today to exactly where he wants to be when it comes to success
with women.

Obviously, before I can build the right outline for such a custom
plan I need to know where the guy it's designed for is today and
the what exactly is the lifestyle with women that he dreams of
making his reality in the near future.

So the very first section of the Initial Assignment is this:  "List
25 things you would like to do, see, or have in your lifetime."

Every guy's response tends to be completely unique, which is a good
thing.  But there is one amazing thread of commonality between
those responses.

Usually, at least half of the items on any particular man's list
could be accomplished AT WILL and AT ANY TIME...were they only
to get slotted on the schedule and made time for.

We're talking about things like, "take salsa dancing lessons",
"drive a 2014 Corvette" and even "watch a sunset from beginning to
end".

Gentlemen, what's on your "bucket list"?  Are there items on there
that are as easily arranged in real life as they are dreamed about?
 
And wait...can you even THINK of 25 items to fill out such a list?
I've had guys return their Initial Assignment to me with as few
as seven entries, including mostly broad generalities as "be happy",
"stay healthy", etc.

Remember, having the kind of inspired life that women want to be
part of is a HUGE factor in attracting the highest quality ones.  

If you go to your day job, come home and watch the tube, wake up
the next morning and do the SAME THING the next day you're bringing
NOTHING to the table.

If that's your lifestyle, you're not LEADING in a way that's
attractive to women.  She can remain bored and uninspired
without you, thank you very much.

So my challenge to you is this:  Why not take the time to write out
your own list of 25 "bucket list" items and let that kick start
your own "resolution to resolve"?  

If you find yourself jotting down stuff you can actually GET DONE
if you'd simply make a move, so be it.  Make today the day you get
going on those...for real.

And if you find yourself writing down loftier goals that will take
some time, ingenuity and even pure luck...that's cool also.  Start
putting your ducks in order so those dreams and visions start
appearing to draw nearer to you.

Should some of the items on your list involve travel or other
experiences that might involve rearranging your expenses a little,
start asking yourself whether or not there really is always
something more pressing to do with your hard-earned money than
the 25 biggest dreams you have in life. 

Believe me, there's ALWAYS going to be something that seems in
the moment to be a "better" use of funds than taking that trip to
Australia.

Furthermore, stare "fear of failure" in the face and boldly stop
letting yourself down.  Take that "list of 25" and RUN WITH IT.

Even if you find it contains some typical "resolution"-type tasks
to accomplish, that's fine also.  If you need to quit smoking, lose
weight AND make more money this year...why stick to one? 

Whatever a "resolution to resolve" means to you, by all means
consider making that promise to yourself. 

Happy New Year to you.


Be Good,

Scot McKay


P.S.   And now, as promised, here are some "resolution resources"
for you...
 
 
 
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RESOLUTION RESOURCES


Want to get certain parts of your life handled?  Here are my
top recommendations for 2014.



LOSE WEIGHT: Here's a major secret to my own personal success. 
I've found this to be powerful, and it doesn't cost a lot:


Lose The Extra Pounds



STOP PROCRASTINATING:  If you want to finally stop putting off
until tomorrow what is better done today, then here is exactly what
it takes:


Get The Job Done


By the way, I LOVE the underlying principles of that system.  It's
a total game changer.



MAKE PEOPLE (ESPECIALLY WOMEN) LAUGH:  If you can make a
woman smile, and then laugh she's pretty much putty in your hands:


Make Her Laugh



QUIT SMOKING:  I'll be honest, I had to research this one a bit
for you, but this is hands-down most effective resource out there:


Stop The Cigarettes



FIND DIRECTION / MOTIVATION:  This is probably the most creative
and flat-out cool strategy I've seen for transforming yourself into
a man with a plan of action for his life.  Even if you're the most
ambitious dude on Earth, this is STILL worth a look...just to see it:


Make Your Dreams Happen



GET IN SHAPE:  And, of course, here's the link to Brad
Howard's Adonis Effect...which has also been instrumental in my
recent (and ongoing) return back to shape:


Finally Have The Body You Want




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