[X&Y] Sexually Focused Men And The Objects Of Their Non-Affection
Published: Thu, 01/11/07
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SEXUALLY FOCUSED MEN AND THE OBJECTS OF THEIR NON-AFFECTION
Being in the business I'm in, and being a man, I'm often
asked by guys how to get women to have sex with them.
Ironically enough, my answer typically involves some
iteration of, "Well, genius, stop trying so hard to get
them to have sex with you."
But as many of us have already encountered time and again
in life, one of the most oft-repeated blunders in the
business world is "If something isn't working, do twice
as much of it."
Such a ham fisted redoubling of efforts tends to turn up
from time to time in the dating world also, doesn't it?
Particularly, it seems, when guys aren't getting women to
agree to all of the sex they want as often as they hoped.
Yeah, well. "Hope" is not a strategy.
Sure, male or female, we are all sexual creatures. But
there is SO MUCH more depth to us all. Perhaps
ironically, that's exactly the key to being more sexually
fulfilled. And therein lies today's point. Make sure you
are ready for this one, too...it's something you've never
heard before (which I major in, if you're just getting
acquainted with this newsletter). Here it is:
***Men who prioritize raw sexual fulfillment over
actually building a relationship with a woman are
almost universally the LEAST sexually fulfilled
people I know of.***
Is this attributable to the old theory that "the more
you chase something the more elusive it becomes"?
Maybe in part, but there's much more to it.
Okay, then. Is it because most women are wise to such
motives and don't give in? Unfortunately, that's not it
either. There seems to be equal numbers of women these
days who are okay with casual sex.
Well, what IS IT already?
The answer lies in the very telling likelihood that the
guy who views women as walking life support systems for
their vaginas is the VERY SAME ONE who constantly kvetches
about how all [women] are "dead lays" with absolutely zero
sexual skill, drive or creativity.
Bad sex = Low fulfillment
I submit that maybe the problem isn't the women. Come on
now, you can't really believe that all women are passive,
asexual and/or even frigid, can you? Well, maybe if that
helps you sleep at night.
But really, why should a woman's full sexual potential be
squandered on a guy who, when it comes down to it, is USING
her?
Make no mistake. It won't be. Show me a guy who has a
healthy respect for women, and furthermore actually ENJOYS
women...and I'll show you a guy who's partner is so fired up
in the bedroom (and the kitchen, and the closet, and the
shower...) that the smoke detectors are disconnected.
Most women know all too well that one man's "dead lay" is
another man's "Siren/Vixen" ("S/V"). And "I/J"s don't
experience "S/V"s so much.
Go and try to figure THAT out. And when you do, deserve
what you want.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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