[X&Y] Doc Love Sits In For Scot McKay
Published: Fri, 11/02/07
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Hello Everyone:
By the time you read this, Emily and I will be
on our honeymoon. With that in mind, today's
newsletter features the first installment of my
"guest writer" series.
Sitting in for me today is none other than Doc
Love. Doc is a friend of mine who has been at
this business of providing "dating advice" for
more years than I think I'm allowed to admit on
his behalf. He's a good friend and I am proud
to say I've been one of his few and infrequent
guests on his weekly international radio show.
To all of the ladies on the list, be advised
that Doc writes primarily to men. Nonetheless,
I think you'll enjoy the read since Doc gives
wimpy guys a VERY hard time and talks at length
about how the woman's interest level is THE
most crucial factor in a relationship.
Guys, if you haven't read or heard Doc's stuff
before get ready for something completely dif-
ferent. You'll be challenged.
Oh...and PLEASE remember that Doc's opinions
are his own. Your regularly scheduled program-
ming will return after I'm back in the country.
Enjoy!
________________________________________________
Guys, Has A Woman Ever Bewildered You With Any Of These Lines?
-by Doc Love
"Can't we just be friends?"
"I don't kiss on the first date."
"I need someone who is more exciting."
"Did I tell you about my present lover?"
"I think you're a nice person, but..."
If you have heard any of these lines, you're in
luck because I have the medicine to cure your case
of Confusion-itis. You are privileged to be
reading the only romantic love column in America
that comes from a male perspective.
In last week's article, we covered two major
concepts: The Reality Factor ("Things are the way
they are. If you go against reality, reality works
against you, resulting in pain.") and The Bottom
Line Factor ("Only a woman's actions truly reflect
her feelings toward you."). These two facts of life
form the foundation of my unique approach to
relationships, which I call The "System." This week,
I will give you the framework of The "System" by
naming the three factors that determine success or
failure in romantic relationships. These factors are:
female Interest Level, female attitude, and male
attitude.
Interest Level is one of the most overlooked factors
in successful relationships. Women call their Interest
Level "romantic feelings," or "love." Interest Level
is a degree of love. What is a "degree" of love? Let
me give an example. Tom is at a party and he asks two
women, Jill and Caprice, for their home phone numbers.
Jill responds, "I'll give you my work number instead -
I just don't know you very well." Caprice, on the other
hand, tears a bank deposit slip from her checkbook,
circles the home phone number, and hands it to Tom with
a smile saying " Now, you'd better call me!"
Interest Level is a scale that ranges from 0 to 100
percent. In our example, I would place Jill's Interest
Level in Tom at 20% and Caprice's at 80%. Now, think
about this: If Jill and Caprice were thoroughbreds
running in the seventh at the Del Mar racetrack, and Tom
were a betting man, whom should he put his money on?
Why is female Interest Level so important? Because the
closer the woman's Interest Level gets to 100%, the more
she likes you, and the more fun you will have - whether
it's on the first date or on your 20th anniversary. In
sharp contrast, the further away her Interest Level is
from 100%, the less she likes you, and the more she will
eat, nag, and watch Ricki Lake. To you Psych majors: a
man should only love a woman who loves him first and a
lot.
Of the three factors that make or break romantic
relationships, the woman's Interest Level - not the man's
Interest level - is the single most important factor.
In addition to overlooking the woman's Interest Level,
males typically overlook the importance of female
attitude - a woman's morals and her temperament. Even
though your Miss Right is beautiful, inside and out, don't
you still have to ask yourself, "Is she going to be part
of the crew or part of the cargo?" To you Psych majors,
"Is she high maintenance or low maintenance?" If you are
going to serve time with Miss Right, isn't it best for your
comfort level and sanity to find a wife who rubs your back
and compliments you once in a while just for taking out the
trash? Of course it is.
So, what comprises a good female attitude? Integrity,
giving, and flexibility.
A woman's integrity is made up of honesty, loyalty, and
trust - in other words: "Would I go into business with this
person?" is the question you should ask yourself before you
give up your freedom.
To find out whether Miss Right is a giver or a taker, ask
yourself, "Is she on my side? Is she sweet, serene, and
supportive - at least some of the time?" One sign of a
giving wife is that she says, "I like to do things to make
my husband happy" when she talks with her girlfriends.
As for the definition of flexibility - let me tell you what
it isn't: hardheaded, structured, stubborn, intransigent,
nor is it personified by nagging - the most cruel and usual
punishment in America today. Flexibility is being willing to
try something new - even if it is going fishing with you once,
and baiting the hook with a creepy crawler.
If a woman is normal, you make her like you more or less by
the way you treat her, but you cannot affect her attitude -
she comes to you wired that way. So, it is your job to do the
things that raise her Interest Level toward 100%. How? By
exhibiting the proper male attitude, made up of: confidence,
control and Challenge.
Most men know what confidence is, and even know that women
love confident men. The other relationship experts, who come
from a female perspective, don't tell men specifically what to
do to get this confidence. But if you read my column every week,
you will learn how to automatically appear confident, even when
you're a nervous wreck inside!
"Control" in my system stands for self-control (not controlling
the woman). It means controlling your choices and actions in
spite of what your emotions urge you to do. For example, if
you're at a dance club, and a gentleman hustles your girlfriend,
you know to take it as a compliment to your taste instead of
putting a chair over his head. By practicing self-control and
not making a fool of yourself, you raise her Interest Level to
even loftier heights.
Challenge is nothing more than playing hard to get. You do this
because the woman is happiest when she does the chasing, and
when she thinks it is her idea to pursue a romantic relationship
- rather than yours. If you do what I say, you'll have to beat
'em off with a stick!
So remember to e-mail me at doclove@doclove.com and all of your
love questions will be answered, and those of general interest
printed. Visit me at www.doclove.com or call me at 800-404-2644
to find out more about The "System".
P.S. Hi Scot,
Congratulations on your marriage. I hope both of you are very happy.
Have fun,
doc
###
Doc Love is a talk show host, entertainment speaker, and coaches
men in his seminars. For the past thirty years he has asked
thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus
another?"
Copyright DocLove DotCom
_____________________________________________
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