[X&Y] Reader Questions And Comments
Published: Mon, 04/23/07
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READER QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS
SPRING HAS SPRUNG AND IT'S TIME TO GET YOUR "GAME" ON: NOW is the
time to get your act together in time for summer. Learn how to
master cooking for your date. Get yourself into a position of
DESERVING the one you have your eye on. Prepare yourself for WILD
SUCCESS. How about ALL of those things? Whatever you wish it is
my command, and to prove it here's your coupon for ***35% off***,
good until the next newsletter is published: "summer35". Use it
on any of the three books or on the BONUS package found at
www.deservewhatyouwant.com (http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com).
Now, on to your letters...there are some killer ones this time around:
=====
Swimming Lessons
Scot:
I wanted to tell you that even though I've just been
reading/listening to you and your wife's programs for a month or
so, I've learned or had MANY more life changing realizations than
I've ever had with the "other gurus". (I won't name names) Keep
up the amazing information.
I was also wondering if you would do an introduction podcast
(perhaps you have one that I haven't found). But more for the
purpose of other listeners and I to give the podcast to a friend to
catch their interest. I can get a friend to listen to one of your
recent podcasts but it's kind of like throwing them into the water
and telling them to swim, you have to want to swim and know why you
need to learn to swim in the first place. Just an idea to help
guys like me support and expand you in an easier way. Even for
women, I need to introduce some women to these so they can actually
deserve me! Haha
Thanks again,
B--Mississippi
You know, I continue to be amazed at how few guys out there in
"Dating Guru Land" (I can see the oval DGL stickers on the backs of
cars now...) are focusing on helping people find someone GREAT
instead of "just anyone". Especially since "settling" is BOGUS and
what we're talking about here is the secret to true fulfillment.
I'm with you...I believe that's where the "life changing
realizations" are found. Let's face it, I have PERSONAL EXPERIENCE
in finding "just anyone", and that didn't take a whole lot of
self-improvement...just a pep talk in order to get up enough nerve to
go "sarging" or something. It didn't lead to anything but a
continued quest for something greater.
Lately, I've started to see some of the well-known "guru" guys who
have been around for years starting to give lip service to finding
a great woman by becoming a greater man, vis-à-vis advice on how to
"pick up strippers" or "hypnotize chicks", etc. This helps me fall
soundly asleep at night, not incidentally by the side of the most
amazing woman I've ever met. Perhaps we truly are making a dent in
changing the world for the better around here.
With regard to your more pragmatic question--you know you are
absolutely correct. We really never did an "introduction-cast",
did we? This is probably for two reasons. First, we started the
whole podcasting thing on purely a whim nearly a year ago--before X
& Y Communications even had a registered business license
(yep...despite how much we've grown, it was only around September 1,
2006 that we were officially "born"). So those first shows were,
how you say, "not so professionally produced". If your prurient
interests get the best of you, email me and I'll send you the link
to XYotF Episode 1. You'll flip.
Second, we really have believed all along in "hitting the ground
running" with solid content. Before the DYD interviews and iTunes
Top 20 lists, who knew we'd ever even be asked about people more
about ourselves? BORING. Well, at least we think so. But you
know, it could be a fun walk down memory lane to do a special
edition that's more biographical. If and when we do that, we'll be
sure to banter our brains out in the process so it's at least worth
a good laugh.
You know, though...that FIRST EPISODE of "X & Y On The Fly TV" is
scheduled to be filmed tomorrow night. If and when you see maybe a
minute or two of bio at the front end of that, congratulate
yourself "B"...it was YOU who inspired it.
=====
Maybe YOU could be...NEXT
Scot and Emily,
Of all the dating tips, tricks, and programs I've checked out, your
comprehensive program is truly one of the most honest and
straightforward (along with David DeAngelo's). Even though I know
you both love what you do, you are truly providing a service that
our parents could never have given us. After a string of
relationships that were doomed from the get-go, I started losing
faith in women and harbored a lot of resentment for the opposite
sex. With one look at your program, I was "blinded by the light,"
so to speak. The simple mantra, "Deserve What You Want,"
encompasses the very concept that I was simply overlooking, even
though it was right in front of my face. I could go on, but I
think simply telling you that I'm forever indebted to your work
gets my point across just fine.
That's all I have for now. I'm sure you'll being hearing from me
soon. Thank you. Thank you so very much.
Sincerely,
D--Parts Unknown
You are quite welcome. After all, isn't "Keeping It Real" is what
life is all about? Why share information at all unless it's
something both Emily and I have found to be the TRUTH and in turn
helpful for others to know? Isn't it ironic that once upon a time
David D.'s book helped me personally to an immense degree, and
nowadays I get to experience the immense joy of receiving letters
like this? To me this is all "paying it forward". Let me tell
you...the more thought that goes into this very necessary art of
helping both men AND women navigate their dating lives in this
altogether gender-bent culture of ours, the better.
One day I want very much for one of YOU reading this newsletter to
become the NEXT "dating guru". Aw yeah, baby.
=====
Proof Positive?
Hi there:
I have a quick question for you. A buddy and I were talking about
this subject. Everybody knows that being seen out in public with
attractive girls boosts a guys "social proof", but does it work the
other way? Does being seen out in public with unattractive girls
lower your "social proof"?
Thank you.
M--California
Interesting question.
I think to a degree it does, but what's really interesting in that
it depends on the woman and her particular mindset.
Women apparently do not think about this the way men do. Because
men are so visual, we see a woman with an ugly guy and it tends to
hurt our impression of her. Have you ever been dating someone,
seen a picture or two of ex-boyfriends (or even met them in a
social context) and said to yourself, "Wow...is THAT the level I'm
on dating this chick?" If so, you know what I'm talking about.
Women will often ask themselves, "Hmmm...I wonder what he sees in
her?" with regard to a man who is with a woman whom they perceive
as unattractive. But the truth is that she may assume that such a
guy was "nobel" enough to have "looked past outward appearances"
and therefore the social proof is still there. Female approval of
any sort drives other female approval. I'm also not going to
discount that a competitive spirit is stoked on the part of women
who believe themselves to outshine whomever you are with.
Notwithstanding that, there are definitely other women who think
and feel more like the typical guy would. But no matter what, at
the very least being seen with a woman is a plus vs. not having any
women at all around you.
=====
Scot,
I liked what you had to say on the common mistakes short men make.
As proof of concept I recently traveled to Houston where I met a
very interesting woman who was 5'11". What I had heard in your
audio program really hit home for me when she stated that I was not
like other short men she had met in the past. I quickly corrected
her and let her know I wasn't short but I was "fun sized". It was
an interesting evening made possible by shifting certain portions
of my personal views.
I am curious about your upcoming single father program being one
myself. For some reason, when I tell a woman I am a single father
it is a deal breaker. Is this because they are not the right women
for me or do women tend to avoid single fathers in general?
H--Texas
I'm glad that you enjoyed the audio program. I love hearing the
success stories. I just mentioned your "fun size" concept to Emily
and she laughed with delight. Me, though, I've never understood
how a bite sized candy bar is the "fun size". To me "fun size"
would be getting a hold of a "Snickers" so gigantic I'd need an
insulin shot afterwards.
The single parent program is coming in June, according to current
timelines. We're still building the concepts to be covered in it.
We have a LOT of info on tap, but are truly swinging for the fence
on this one by interviewing some of the GREATEST PARENTS in the
world on the subject. Hang in there with us, and we'll have one
amazing program for you when it's released. You have my word on
that.
Your situation is an interesting one. I personally expected to get
a lot of resistance from women when I had my daughter come live
with me. But instead, I found it made many women feel that I was
somehow pre-approved as "safe" and they would open up more almost
immediately. I can see their point. After all, if a guy has been
awarded custody of his 5-year-old daughter he's probably not an axe
murderer. I'm sure some younger never-marrieds would have been
more shy, but even so there were MANY who were 25-27 with no kids
who were happy to hang out.
My educated guess is that you have happened by coincidental
circumstance to hit a string of women who believe that way. I
don't think it's all women--not by a long shot. Women who are
single moms, though...I've found that they almost UNIVERSALLY LOVE
when a guy is a single dad. It's like being halfway to "soulmate"
from the very start. Keep your masculinity intact and your
confidence high.
BTW, fellas. I am working on an interview with a guy who is one of
the most renowned experts on fatherhood in the universe. Rest
assured I am going to ask him all about single-father dating
issues. I also can't wait to pick his brain regarding how younger
guys can telegraph to great women what a great father they would
be, and how profoundly all of that affects attraction. This is
going to be a KILLER interview--whether you want kids or not, you
have to admit that such a talk would be GROUNDBREAKING stuff.
=====
Be good,
Scot McKay
PERSONAL COACHING: I have exactly two coaching slots open right
now, thanks to two people who saw results MUCH faster than
expected. If you have been thinking at all about the concept of
putting me to work for you directly, now is the time to contact me
at info@xandycommunications.net.
THE DISCUSSION FORUM (aka MESSAGE BOARD): We've doubled our
membership since last week, so true to what I've been told message
boards really do start gaining momentum all of the sudden. There
are some great new topics, including among other things what to do
in the online dating world if you aren't exactly photogenic.
www.deservewhatyouwant.com/forum
(http://www.xandycommunications.net/forum). Sign up and jump right
into the conversation.
YOUTUBE(tm) VIDEO: The X & Y On The Fly LIVE show and The Chick
Whisperer TV are now ready to go. First episode will be filmed
tonight.
PODCAST UPDATE: "The Chick Whisperer" is now truly a worldwide
phenomenon, and I finally found the "Wanky Music" nirvana online,
which can only mean the theme music is now firing on all cylinders
per how I originally envisioned it. And Edroy Odem is sounding
smoother than silk, as always. Episode 6 hit the street Saturday
morning. It talks about how to get confidence and answers why some
men get bored so quickly in long-term relationships. It's not like
we've ever wondered about THAT, huh guys? Joseph South
(http://www.thechickwhisperer.com/south) is indeed in for the next
show about competition from other guys, after some scheduling
difficulties. Get a head start on all of that at:
http://feeds.feedburner.com/thechickwhisperer. Meanwhile, Episode
26 of "X & Y On The Fly" is also out, featuring Amy Waterman on
femininity. So far we've gotten some great feedback on that one.
Find out more about Amy at http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/amy.
Subscribe on iTunes right now at
http://feeds.feedburner.com/xyonthefly so you don't miss a thing.
Meanwhile the tenth episode of "Online Dating Profile Rating"
(http://feeds.feedburner.com/onlinedating) is also on the
loose--the VERY FIRST to feature a profile submitted by a listener.
We now have a backlog of profiles to "overhaul", thanks to YOU who
have sent them to us. As you would expect, all of these can be
subscribed to via feed, through iTunes or via email. As always, we
appreciate a review on iTunes and/or a vote for us on Podcast
Alley. Remember you can now leave us voicemail at 210-362-4400,
and we've got PRIZES for callers. By the way, congrats to Quincy
from London, UK whose email was read on the show, scoring a fresh
copy of Steve "The Dean" Williams' new "What Women Want And Why"
program (http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/dean) for his strong
effort.
POWER SESSIONS: Do you feel as if you have a lot to offer someone
great, and yet are STILL not experiencing the success you feel you
deserve? You know what I mean--you look good, you have some style,
a job, and lots of personality on top of all else...yet NOTHING is
going on in your dating life. If you've ever wondered to yourself
"WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE WRONG?" I've got great news for you. You
NO LONGER have to wait around for your friends to somehow get the
nerve to tell you what the deal is. The May issues of Power
Sessions will BOTH cover "Hidden Detractors" that are keeping you
from dating success without you even KNOWING IT. And yes...we're
talking about PRACTICAL information here. Your Mom isn't going to
tell you these things, and neither are the people who aren't going
out with you. So be sure to get in on the Power Sessions series
before May rolls around. You could SHOCK YOURSELF with how
profoundly your dating fortunes turn around as a result of this
important Power Session. In fact, there is SO MUCH stuff here that
we may end up releasing it as a separate audio program altogether
after May is done. Check it all out at:
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/powersessions/men (men) or
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/powersessions/women (women).
You can even get the first month FREE when you get your hands on
any of the three books, which sweetens the deal even more.
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/powersessions/women.
LISTEN TO PODCASTS ON YOUR CELL PHONE: Don't have an iPod? Don't
want to be chained to your computer? As always, I've got your
back. If you DO happen to have "rollover" minutes or "free nights
and weekends" out the wazoo, then you can DIAL-A-CAST! This is
RIDICULOUSLY cool. You just dial the number and the most recent
show starts playing. It's like dialing into a conference call at
work, only it's, well...NOT work. Many, many thanks to
www.podlinez.com for this (a service of www.phonecasting.com).
The wait for this was MONUMENTAL, as only several hundred numbers
are available and EVERY PODCAST ON PLANET EARTH wants 'em. So
imagine scoring numbers for all four of the shows we have around
here? Are you kidding me? NICE. Anyway, here are the numbers
below, which are FREE to call except for any applicable
long-distance charges. And, hey, if you are still paying LD, we
need to drag you kicking and screaming into the 21st Century...LOL
I've also given you the feed to the MP3 while I'm at it:
X & Y On The Fly
289-466-5002
Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/xyonthefly
The Chick Whisperer
415-376-7267
Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/thechickwhisperer
Online Dating Profile Rating
305-890-1549
Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/onlinedating
Nice Guys Need Love Too--Comedy Cast
305-890-1558
Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/niceguys
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