NOW...Free Daily Mini Podcast From Scot And Emily at www.PowerMonogamy.com

We know that "Nice Guys" tend to end up in the dreaded "Just Be Friends Zone". But that doesn't stop women everywhere from claiming that's what they really want in a man.  So what's the deal here?

As often seems to be the case, the true answer is a disarmingly simple one. "Nice" behavior by a man in and of itself is not what differentiates "keepers" from the "rejects" in the minds of women.  To the contrary, it's all about HOW the man presents himself.
 
Make no mistake, it's not necessarily the I/Js (Idiot/Jerks) who get women--ESPECIALLY the highest echelon of women.  Being "good" or "bad" in and of itself is NOT the key, despite what you may have heard elsewhere.  In fact, being a "bad boy" is at best a quick-fix for getting some women...any women who'll take him, as long as she's "hot". 

As always, I'm happy to break it down for you.  Here are some key differentiators between "nice guys" who finish first and those who...well...don't.

THE NICE GUY WHO FINISHES LAST (Having Come From A Position Of Weakness)...

1)      ...Capitulate To Women's Whims.  "Yes Dear."  "Whatever you want, honey".   Men only say this to avoid conflict (at best) or (at worst) because they pathetically think that their efforts will somehow impress a woman.  Women smell insincerity a mile away.  Sorry.

2)      ...Is Afraid To Lose The Woman He Is With. Therefore, they literally bend over backwards not to "upset" her or say the wrong thing.   Despite the obvious desperation involved here, arguably the most unattractive aspect of all this to a woman is how BORING it is.

3)      ...Has Zero Leadership Ability.  Guys often hear that "if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy".  So the thought process is geared toward letting them make decisions and letting them get what they want.  Unfortunately, women have a level of respect for a man that correlates to his level of leadership in a relationship.  Zero leadership equals zero respect...which, logically, equals zero second dates.

4)      ...Lacks Confidence.  If you are worried she won't like you she probably won't.  And similarly, if you act "nice" because you haven't the courage to stand up for yourself, she'll likely walk all over you...disgusted by every second of it.

5)      ...Has Thinly-Veiled Ulterior Motives.  Nobody likes to be "brown nosed" or "buttered up". There is no more blatant display of viewing a woman as a purely sexual object than to go overboard being "nice". She knows, you know and the rest of the world knows you wouldn't be so "nice" if she wasn't so sexy.  Consider how weak this appears to a woman.  End of story. 

Meanwhile,

           THE GOOD MAN WHO WINS (Having Come From A Position Of Strength)...

1)     ...Treats ALL WOMEN Well, Regardless Of Sexual Attractiveness.  Guys, take this test for yourself:  Do you open doors for ALL women, or only for the ones who look good.  If the latter, don't be so shocked that your dates slot you in the JBF zone so much.  Your "nice" behavior is all about manipulating women into giving you what you need.  Start appreciating women more genuinely, and you will begin to be more genuinely appreciated.  Is this really so difficult to get?

2)     ...Is Not Focused On "Getting Some".  Sex-starved men stay hungry.  Men without pressing sexual needs cause women to feel more comfortable in their presence.  Ironically, women who are comfortable around a man are more attracted...and ultimately more sexual.  So the pattern operates.

3)     ...Takes Charge.  Such a man does not sheepishly ask a woman her preference and thereby let her dictate the flow of a date.  A Good Man has paid attention and learned what makes the woman tick.  When the date comes, he has the plan completely handled.  At the end of the evening, the woman is often flabbergasted at how "perfect" her evening full of surprises was.  But the Good Man with leadership ability knows it was all no accident.

4)     ...Has Options. Therefore, he succeeds in causing the woman he is with feel to particularly valuable and special.  She views herself as the "winner", and rightly so.  Other women want this guy, but she is with him. That feeling is a good one to have. If a man can inspire a woman to feel valuable OR special he's on the right track, but getting both right is an unbeatable combination.  By the way, contrast this scenario with the weak man's cavalcade of compliments and/or gifts designed to help him somehow manipulate a woman's attraction.

5)     ...Has High Standards.  This means the man is EVALUATING the woman he is with rather than attempting to impress her.  He has complete control over his dating life, and as a good man is confident enough in his character to realize that women worth his time and effort will recognize that and be impressed without his having to press the issue. 

Come on, guys...get it figured out and go get the amazing woman you deserve.  Ladies, keep the candle burning.  We're busy around here building the population of real men for you.  Will you be ready when you finally meet one?

Be Good,

Scot McKay

PODCASTS UPDATE:   Episode 19 of "X & Y On The Fly" is called "The Weddingcast". It's not our typical show, as it covers what happened with the wedding and the honeymoon rather than our typical rapid-fire dating discussion.  A very cool development is that we are now doing mobile podcasting.  This means we have live clips to share, and will continue that trend in future casts.   http://feeds.feedburner.com/xyonthefly or www.deservewhatyouwant.com/main/podcast.htm to subscribe.  And hey, give our Frappr map some love:  www.frappr.com/xandy

Here's a MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT:  Now that Emily and I have tied the knot, we are all about helping everyone we can get in on the same kind of terrific relationship.  We call that POWER MONOGAMY! With that in mind, we're launching PowerMonogamy.com. There we're unveiling the beta version of a more "mainstream" future look to our X & Y portal, BUT...more importantly we're giving out a DAILY MINI PODCAST over there.  Cool, huh?  Yep...Emily and I were on a roll and recorded 72 of 'em in a row.  So you know we'll keep it updated.  Now you can get a brand new message on a daily basis...all for f-r-e-e, of course. 

Power Sessions For Men is NOW AVAILABLE.  This monthly program is dedicated to our most ADVANCED material and is designed for YOU...if you are serious about finding and deserving the most amazing person you have ever met.  Emily will be hosting Power Sessions For Women in the near future, likely beginning after the wedding and the holidays.  For now, get a handle on the "Deserving Community" by visiting http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/powersessions/men.  

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