[X&Y] Double-Barreled Disaster
Published: Tue, 07/03/07
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TELESEMINAR FOR GUYS WITH CARLOS XUMA: Carlos Xuma has invited me
to team up with him on a LIVE teleseminar series. This will be the
very first time we've offered anything like this, of course. The
first introductory seminar will be FREE, on which we'll announce
the details of the series. All I can say now is that YOUR VOICE
has been heard. Carlos and I both get lots of e-mails asking what
to say to the opposite sex and when to say it. Truly, once this
teleseminar series is finished you will NEVER AGAIN be at a loss
for how to communicate effectively with someone who interests you.
THERE ARE ONLY 200 SPOTS available, and Carlos' list is hearing
about this also. To get in on this event go to
http://www.datingdynamics.com/dating-advice-announcement.htm RIGHT
NOW to reserve your space. The cool thing about the teleseminar
format is that it is LIVE and INTERACTIVE, so there will be time
for real Q & A.
Here is the date and time (YES...next Monday):
Date: Monday July 9th
Time: 6:00 PM Pacific time (GMT - 8)
Registration Info:
http://www.datingdynamics.com/dating-advice-announcement.htm
And now, this week's fire-blazin' topic...
DOUBLE-BARRELED DISASTER
Today's subject is one that I have been kicking around in my mind for
a long time. And no worries, it's a purely subjective concept so
it's not like I'm going to go "Chris Benoit" on anyone around here.
But it's like this. By now, most of you all who are reading this
(unless perhaps you just now are showing up, in which case welcome)
fully realize that needy, wimpy "Nice Guys" get nowhere with women
by supplicating, capitulating and otherwise fulfilling upon various
other big words with small meanings. Women dread the insincerity
and manipulative tactics involved like Emily's dog Cosmo The
Hairless Terrier dreads sunburn. And just like Cosmo, guys who
regularly do such silly stuff have no game whatsoever. Hell, they
may as well spin around three or four times "turbo barking" like he
does. Even when Gracie Girl (terrier hottie) is in "heat", the
only female ever even remotely impressed by such a ludicrous and
decidedly useless display appears to be my seven-year-old daughter.
On the flip side you have the "Bad Boys", the garden variety of
which are collectively known as "Idiot/Jerks" around these parts.
Yeppers, pardner. Some guys appear to be successful at attracting
some women by ignoring and/or mistreating them. But as we have
also learned, the particularly sharp women won't put up with that
for long either. Besides, misogynistic guys attract man-haters
like...well...like lunchtime attracts Cosmo. And that friends and
neighbors is the quintessential "lose/lose" for "losers/losers".
But despite all these shenanigans, of both the human and canine
ilk, we keep on living in this black/white universe where a guy
usually believes he has to be one or the other...and amazingly the
women buy into the false logic with an equal share.
Where it gets particularly troublesome is when--inevitably (we would
think)--some guys get kissed upside the head with the proverbial 2x4
and snap to it, saying, "Duh...hey...wait...uhh...THIS IS NOT WORKING!"
And then the breathtaking part: They try to fix things by (you
guessed it) trying "that other strategy".
So here we go. "Mr. Nice Guy" decides he's got to be "The Bad Boy"
to get the girl. Have you ever seen a girly-man kicking tires on a
Harley? It ain't pretty. And it's even uglier when he BUYS the
thing. Pigs and lipstick all over again. If you are manipulative
and needy when you are "Nice" about it, nothing changes when you're
"Not Nice" about it. Somewhere, one of the particularly
first-class women reading this newsletter is agreeing with me:
This picture is even more pathetic than the "Nice Guy" was.
Simply put, if there ever was a shred of hope with the woman this
guy is so desperate to earn the attention of it just sprouted
wings. Majorly.
And elsewhere, there are at times "I/J" types who realize in a
moment of sweet epiphany that they've pushed too hard. The woman
has had enough, and has been driven to the edge of both sanity and
dignity. She has experienced the great awakening of Deserving What
She Wants and will not tolerate the mistreatment any longer. Good
for her. And what does the "I/J" guy do? He decides it's time to
make an SOS call to the flower shop desperately hoping that two
dozen (in red, with "baby's breath", etc.) is enough. Time to
"kiss up" and "make nice". Yeah, whatever. Ladies, raise your
hand if you've ever launched that "special delivery" directly into
the can. Sorry, guys. Once again, albeit in an alternate
universe, you've just sealed your certain doom as securely as
"Harley Mounted Milquetoast Boy" did.
Out of the frying pan and into the fire. As if the first
infraction wasn't heinous enough, Dude...you just had to yank the
whole charade into full-on DEFCON 1 didn't you? Counter failure of
one extreme by swinging clear across to the other...call it
"Double-Barreled Disaster". If you manage to walk away from this
one, it'll be bowlegged.
For some of you, what you are reading registers as first-hand
experience. Others of you may be contemplating (or even
attempting) such "reform" in your life.
How did we get here? Who decided that guys have to be caricatures
of one extreme or the other?
In the end, I don't really care how we got here any more than Cosmo
cares what brand of beer I pour in his doggy dish. All I care
about is getting out. Here's an original idea: How about being a
GOOD MAN?
Maybe you've met him. Unashamedly masculine. Confident. Respects
himself and appreciates women. Strong character. Fearless but not
foolish. Irresistibly sexual without forcing the issue. Makes
decisions and does what he says he's going to do. Even if he's not
from Texas. Never any need to swing to either extreme.
And--write this down--the chicks dig him. They just can't seem to
find him around anymore. Let's hope they don't forget how to
recognize him...
Be Good,
Scot
THE TRIUMPHANT RETURN OF THE CHICK WHISPERER:
(http://feeds.feedburner.com/thechickwhisperer)
After a brief hiatus, The Chick Whisperer podcast is back with a
vengeance for Episode 10, which by my calculations should be
AVAILABLE by the time this newsletter hits your mailbox. With me for
TCW #10 is none other than Sebastian Drake from The Approach and
Master Your Vibe (http://www.thechickwhisperer.com/vibe). The topic
will be "Talking To Women You Just Met", and you do not want to miss
this one. Sebastian is really, really good on this topic. Best of
all, he also agreed to do a second audio program specifically for
Power Sessions guys on "Situational Conversation". Which reminds me...
POWER SESSIONS: ... that's EXACTLY what you can expect from the July
edition of Power Sessions For Men. It's going to be ALL about
Situational Conversation. Right now I have FOUR DOZEN different
situations identified that are notorious for leaving guys
speechless when they come up with women. So check it out: First
a TCW on initial communications...THEN a seminar with Carlos of
overall communication skills (including non-verbal)...AND THEN the
full-on Power Sessions focus on the right words for handling
virtually every situation with women you can think of. Are you
kidding me...that's like a $297 CD series in and of itself. But
nah...we have it for just $15.95, including all the e-mail coaching
you want. If you've been kicking the tires on Power Sessions, now
is the time. Getchasum at
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/powersessions/men. And YES...Emily
has her own kickin' version planned for the ladies. Get in on
that--along with some great bonuses to rival those we're giving out
for PS4M---at http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/powersessions/women.
OH...and if you still have last week's newsletter handy (i.e. "Our
Favorite Kind Of Success Story") then you are in luck: I
conveniently left that killer ONE PENNY deal for Power Sessions up
on the server for now:
(http://www.xandycommunications.net/main/success.htm)...
DATING COACHING WITH A DESTINATION: Ten-Plus is a guided,
structured plan of action for your dating success. If you are
serious about getting your skills with the opposite sex handled,
visit http://www.xandycommunications.net/main/coach.htm. Life is
too short to miss out on a wildly successful dating life, and this
is the fast-track.
NEW AND IMPROVED FRESHER SCENT VIDEO SHOWS COMING SOON: My July 4th
project is to finish editing the "next generation" X-Net video
shows, featuring some killer improvements. Set your timer for
sometime Thursday morning and check out our YouTube shows "X & Y On
The Fly LIVE" and "The Chick Whisperer TV" on the X-Net link at
http://www.xandycommunications.net/main/xnet.htm
(www.xandycommunications.net/main/xnet.htm).
EMILY'S "KEYS TO BLISS" NEWSLETTER: Emily now is doing a
newsletter for the ladies, and it's never too late to sign up.
Sign up for that by sending email to emily@aweber.com. No subject
or text is necessary. Joining will not affect your membership to
this newsletter. (And yes...the first one will be written very soon.)
PODCAST PHONE NUMBERS TO LISTEN IN ON:
X & Y On The Fly
289-466-5002
Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/xyonthefly
The Chick Whisperer
415-376-7267
Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/thechickwhisperer
Online Dating Profile Rating
305-890-1549
Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/onlinedating
Nice Guys Need Love Too--Comedy Cast
305-890-1558
Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/niceguys
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