[X&Y] Grant Adams Sits In For Scot McKay
Published: Tue, 07/10/07
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____________________________________________________________________
SUMMER VACATION! Emily and I are out of the office on vacation
this week (even though we are--yes--still checking our e-mails). As
is customary around here, I've asked one of my friends to sit in as
a "guest author" for our weekly newsletter while we are out
gallivanting around. This time you are in for a real treat. Grant
Adams, who was our guest earlier in the year on the XYotF podcast,
is one of the true innovators when it comes to online dating
success. His perspective is unlike any other you've seen before,
and more importantly his approach flat-out works. Not only does
Grant have the customer testimonials to back that up, he has his
own enviable track record with the ladies. As you know, we are all
about testimonials and track records in these parts.
Enjoy Grant's great online dating insights he's sharing with you
today, and if you find yourself wanting in on the whole enchilada
Grant's book is one of those that truly delivers massive value...as
you'd expect after reading what follows. Find it at
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/grant .
We'll be back atcha next week with a newsletter guaranteed to cover
uncharted territory...stay tuned.
=====
THE MOST SUCCESSFUL ONLINE DATING PROFILE EVER
By Grant Adams
Jerry Seinfeld has a great line...
He asks women, "You really want to know what's going on in a man's
mind? You really want to know what we're thinking? Well I'm going
to tell you the secret, finally let the cat out of the bag. What
are men thinking....
...Nothing."
It's funny because it's true. We guys love to empty ourselves of
thoughts. We're happy just to empty out and not have to DO,
ACCOMPLISH, WIN, GET or BUILD anything for a change. If only for a
moment.
The male mind is happy at rest.
Not so for women!
The female mind, ESPECIALLY the female mind that is searching for a
man (or men) is attentive, roiling, wide-awake... happy fuel eager
to be ignited.
Searching, willing, open - inspirable! Eager for a man to un-bore
them out of the routine of their lives. For a spark of excitement to
set her loving heart aflame...
And yet, 95% of men have not idea how to do that!
They talk AT women rather than to them.
And they TALK to women, rather than sing to their luscious, loving,
infinite hearts.
Online dating is a great place to practice singing to a woman's
heart. To choose intentions and words that truly awaken a woman's
deep
yearning.
Men complain all the time that women don't write them online. But
they make no effort to deserve or INSPIRE a woman's attention.
Now, I am a wordsmith by passion and by nature, and I experiment
with online profiles all the time. I want to share part of a recent
profile that garnered 96 responses in the first three days:
"Now that is what I call one hell of a nice profile! Why can't the
men here write like you?"
"Impressive profile!! i figured you must be a writer. it sounds
like you are very blessed - i want to be part of your life!
Looking forward to hearing from you."
"Grant, I can't remember the last time I came across such an "aware"
man. Your ability to describe that beautiful woman is remarkable.
She's out there. She'll be lucky when you find her. Maybe it's me?"
I wrote an ebook called Net2Bed/Net2Wed for men - a primer of over
25 key principles to attract and inspire a woman online.
Let me briefly apply some of the N2B/N2W Principles to just the
opening lines of this latest profile.
Rather than opening by talking about me, me, me -- like every other
guy out there, I opened by talking about HER. I visioned the woman I
truly desire into existence.
How did I do that?
I opened with a "yes-chain." That's where you ask questions that
will get somebody habituated to saying "yes!" to you.
Great lovers do this. So do, importantly, great salespeople.
You can write your own opening yes-chain questions, but here are
mine...
"Does your creativity sometimes set you airborne? Do you find
yourself surrendering to sudden fits of joy or gratitude? Do you
have a buoyant vision of what you want to create with your days and
nights? Are you funny, wise and have a sweet, gracious compassion for
others, even for Republicans (some), because you know that everyone
is struggling in their own unique way? If this sounds like you...
let's explore."
Here's my imagined simulation of how the kind of woman I seek will
read the above...
"Yes! Airborne! I do! I am so creative, so light, happy, lifted
-- mmmmm -- and here is a man who can see that! And maybe lift me
higher..."
"Yes, I love to surrender, and yes, I am spontaneous, and yes, help
me surrender to joy..."
"Yes, I am happy and I DO have a vision, I want to spread love and
beauty and here is a man who will recognize and appreciate me for
who I most deeply am..."
"Yes, I AM funny, and wise - yes! - but how many men even ask to
see this precious part of me, and here's a man who will APPRECIATE
and VALUE me for my wisdom as well as my humor, sweetness and
natural compassion."
"Republicans... LOL - here is a man who is compassionate but also
funny, he has opinions but he's not rigid or obnoxious about them"
"Explore... explore... explore..."
Without being crass, any good salesperson becomes a master of his
prospect's mind.
And any man serious about inspiring the devotion of a woman, will
do everything he can to know how her mind and heart works.
Now, after I finished my yes-chain, notice what came next:
I qualify: "IF this sounds like you..."
It is my belief that a man needs to lead a woman in order to
continue to inspire her. This is why, in the N2B/N2W Manual, I
show men
several ways of deploying qualifiers. The "If" word is just one of
many. (For a list of others, refer to page 72-74, in the Net2Bed
Manual)
My work for men teaches each one to neither brag nor beg, neither
prance nor preen but to CAPTURE a woman's imagination and inspire
her with the depth of his character, insight, attentiveness and
already noble qualities.
Men need to know they are already way ahead of the game. They just
have to learn to play the right game! The one that will bring them
the prize they truly desire.
=====
OK, Grant. Great stuff. But I'd say MY online dating profile was
the most successful ever. After all, look where it got me!
Republicans need love too, and Grant Adams' Net2Bed/Net2Wed: How to
Attract The Woman of Your Dreams is waiting for you at
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/grant . We've had a review of
Grant's book up at http://www.dating-resources.net
(www.dating-resources.net) for quite some time now, and can't
recommend it enough.
By the way, ladies--get ready. Grant's brand new (and long
awaited) book for y'all is The Right Man Online and it's going to
be unleashed on August 10th.
Be Good,
Scot
NEW AND IMPROVED VIDEO SHOWS: The "next generation" of X-Net video
shows, featuring some killer improvements, is ON THE LOOSE. Check
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(www.youtube.com/group/datingadvice). Yeah, we snagged the
"datingadvice" group name on YouTube. Nice.
NEW PODCAST EPISODES: Emily and I have a great XYotF interview on
tap with Jon and Laurie Weiss, relationship coaches and authors of
"Being Happy Together". The topic will be "What Does A 'Happy
Relationship' Look Like?" and The Weisses can be found at
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/happy. Believe us...after nearly
fifty years of marriage, these two were on-point for this interview
like you won't believe. Look for Episode 30 at
http://feeds.feedburner.com/xyonthefly as always. Meanwhile, all I
can say about Online Dating Profile Rating show number "Sweet 16"
is "get your fire suit on"...whoa. Get in on that at
http://feeds.feedburner.com/onlinedating. Episode 11 of TCW is
awaiting final editing and should be unleashed later this week. My
good friend and dating coach Brad Finsilver is my co-host for that
one and the topic is "daytime pickup". The show has already been
recorded and the material is non-stop and truly excellent.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/thechickwhisperer
POWER SESSIONS: The July edition of Power Sessions For Men is ALL
about Situational Conversation. It is the longest one yet at
seventy minutes, and that's pure rapid-fire content as always.
Find out more at
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/powersessions/men. There will be
yet another bonus program this month. And YES...Emily has 'The
Cheater Meter' on tap for the ladies. Get in on that--along with
some great bonuses to rival those we're giving out for PS4M--at
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/powersessions/women.
DATING COACHING WITH A DESTINATION: Ten-Plus is a guided,
structured plan of action for your dating success. If you are
serious about getting your skills with the opposite sex handled,
visit http://www.dating-coaches.com (www.dating-coaches.com). Life
is too short to miss out on a wildly successful dating life, and
this is the fast-track. Email me at info@xandycommunications.net
for more.
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Online Dating Profile Rating
305-890-1549
Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/onlinedating
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305-890-1558
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