[X&Y] Introverted Alphas
Published: Wed, 08/15/07
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IT'S "TWO-FOR-ONE DAY": Tomorrow is the 15th of the month, which
means the new August Power Sessions For Men and Power Sessions For
Women will be released. This ALSO means that you have until
precisely 8pm CDT tomorrow to take advantage of getting the current
one immediately upon signing up AND the brand-new one tomorrow
evening. It's like getting "two for one"...and remember your first
month is ON US with any of our e-books like Deserve What You Want.
The choice is yours at:
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com (www.deservewhatyouwant.com).
But remember...at 8pm CDT tomorrow night the August one will be
unleashed.
I'm working on a major announcement for the next newsletter. But
first things first. As promised last week, here's another brand-new
secret for succeeding with MOTOS while out on the town at night:
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INTROVERTED ALPHAS
When it comes to dating advice for guys, how many times have we
heard about the importance of being the "alpha" man in a room full
of people? After all, women are magically drawn to confidence and
leadership, aren't they? And a charismatic personality is
generally understood to kick the attraction potential into
hyperdrive. Right?
So we as men are bombarded with continuous tips and tricks on how
to stand out. Attraction appears to be predicated upon learning to
"banter" and be a "storyteller". There are even books (and a
particularly good one right here:
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/laugh) devoted to how to make
women laugh. And if you have the personality to carry all of
this, there's no question it's powerful stuff.
But there's a problem. Not everyone has the same personality type,
do they? As long as there yet exists a "strong silent type"
persona that carries archetypal mystique in the imaginations of
certain women, the reality shall remain that there just isn't a
blanket solution when it comes to identifying one single and
all-conquering "type" that is sure to attract "all women". To
illustrate this further, consider how "cocky/funny" is powerfully
effective stuff...but only with women who find it, well, powerfully
effective. Some very attractive women just don't resonate with it
for whatever reason. That's life.
But wait a minute. How then is the "Strong Silent Guy" supposed to
"stand out" in the loud, flamboyant world of "night time game"--
where "larger than life" rules--if he isn't up to the "peacocking"
challenge? The truth is a guy with an introverted personality may
have incredible potential for igniting attraction in certain women.
But how can he effectively convey that in a bar full of people?
That's a good question, and I've been asked it more than once
within the past couple of weeks.
In offering a potential answer to it, let's focus on a key scenario
in a bar/club setting. Almost always, night time pick-up strategy
begins with "opening a set". This means having the flat-out
confidence and energy to be a part of a larger group of people and
TAKE CHARGE of it. The guy who controls the mood and the flow of a
group of people (be they all women or mixed company) is the guy who
is best positioned for creating attraction among the women of that
group. This makes sense. Once you've mastered "working the
crowd", as the best stand-up comedians are known for, you can often
find yourself in the envious position of taking your pick as to
which woman you'd like to "single out" for a more private
conversation.
Common wisdom says this requires a gregarious personality of the
most outgoing sort.
Not so fast.
The most powerful boardroom chairmen--and indeed the most effective
U.S. Presidents--tend to have something in common when it comes to
group dynamics. And I believe that they have a valuable secret
that introverted guys can learn from when it comes to winning over
a room full of people.
Their secret is this: they are fantastic listeners. What's more,
they are equally adept at INVOLVING OTHERS and evaluating opinions.
John F. Kennedy in particular was known for being able to hold a
group of high level dignitaries and/or cabinet members at absolute
rapt attention. Bear in mind these groups were typically composed
of men with immense egos. Yet, JFK actually said relatively little.
Instead, he urged involvement from particular individualsat the table
with him and paid full attention to their input. When any one person
had completed his thought, he would quickly hand off the subject to
someone else. Often he would enact the transition by simply asking
another person to "continue the thought" or "offer his or her opinion".
Invariably, the culmination of all this was a great desire on the
part of those at the table to finally hear Kennedy's word on the
matter. Not once having elbowed his way into the conversation to
exert his views, by the time he spoke all eyes were trained upon
his and all ears were hanging on his every word.
A man of great character may be confident, masculine and very much
a leader. But he may not be "the life of the party". The untold
truth, however, is that he can indeed emerge as the most
overwhelmingly attractive man in the group at a bar or club...if he
can do what JFK could.
Lead. Listen. Care. Earn respect and in the process you will
have the full attention of some high-quality women.
Will this work always? Will it be effective everywhere? Nothing
is...not even the more mainstream "game" tactics, right? But if you
are an introverted man, what we've discussed here today is one
serious and more "natural" alternative to a persona that doesn't
fit.
By the way, whatever your personality type, try JFK's attitude on
for size at work sometime. Watch your career gain forward mobility
as a result.
Be Good,
Scot
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