[X&Y] When You ARE A Man, You Don't Have To ACT (or "Deep Outer Game")

Published: Thu, 08/02/07

X & Y COMMUNICATIONS WEEKLY NEWSLETTER


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____________________________________________________________________
 

SPECIAL MEN'S EDITION OF DESERVE WHAT YOU WANT:   

I've just completed a limited edition of Deserve What You Want with
special additions and refinements geared specifically for the guys.  
Men:  If you are fed up with a steady diet of "quick fixes" and "black
hat" trickery from the seduction advice you have been reading
lately, my guess is you are ready for some straight-up truth that
can actually affect you---as in WHO YOU ARE and WHAT YOU ARE
DEALING WITH.  You've got the fever, and I've got the cure.  I've even
revised the bonuses a bit to include that ridiculously on-point
audio program on "Real Seduction" I did with Joseph "Thundercat"
Matthews and Amy Waterman's no-holds-barred interview with me that
captures in detail "what women want" better than any single source
I've ever, ever seen.  Seriously...after that interview I fully
believe that men CAN and SHOULD know those answers.  Read all about
the new Men's Version and all the bonuses---and hear a three-minute
audio message I have for you---at www.deservewhatyouwant.com/men
(http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/men).


With that in mind, today we're going to challenge the very
foundation that a lot of pick-up advice for men is premised upon
(and to you ladies out there, I accept your resounding "kudos" in
advance)...


=====


WHEN YOU *ARE* A MAN, YOU DON'T HAVE TO *ACT*

(or "Deep Outer Game")


It's like some kind of bizarre, ritualistic tradition at this
point.  If you go into the "dating guru" business--and you are male
(notice I didn't' say 'a man', necessarily)--it's practically an
expected rite of passage that you harp on "outer game" so as to
somehow prove to your audience that you have some "game".
Apparently, it's incumbent upon you as a  "Master PUA" to
demonstrate to all the guys out there who care that you can throw
down hilarious lines on demand; mix in an outrageous individual
style; go by a one name "handle" as if he were "Prince", "Sting",
"Ronaldinho", "Liberace" or "Madonna"; and practice "cult
persuasion" tactics and "NLP" like a master.  THEN... all the guys
who've never had any experience with women will want to be JUST
LIKE YOU (which is apparently available for the mere sum of $2000
USD or so per weekend).

In other words, if you are a "Seduction Trainer", your job is
basically to seduce YOUR AUDIENCE.  Whether women really respond
to what is taught is really of secondary importance.  First, the guys
have to think you are cool.  Besides, so what if it doesn't work so
well with women (especially outside of the NYC or LA metro areas)?
That just means guys will have to stick around longer with the
promise of learning more "secrets".

So what's the deal here?  You're probably guessing that I don't
think any of the "outer game" stuff works.

Well, I have a confession to make--right here, right now.  Although
virtually all of you who have read a good bit from me are not used
to hearing things out of my mouth like what I am about to say, now
is the time to do so:  YES..."outer game" does work.  It works
amazingly well.  In fact, I personally have an arsenal of
outstanding lines for whichever situation you can think of, run a
full line of cool magic tricks (including the "push a glass through
the table" bit that rules on dinner dates), play acoustic guitar,
have a closet full of viciously stylish threads to wear downtown
and a own a certain Italian motorcycle with a carbon exhaust system.

Oh, and another thing.  I also have the most amazing woman I've
ever met coming home from running errands here any minute.  That's
because she lives here.  And I married her.  And she's pregnant
with my son...on purpose.  And importantly, she's sticking around for
precisely NONE of the reasons I cited in the previous paragraph.

You see, fellas, it's like this.  For starters, there are already
plenty of places you can go to stock up on "outer game" tactics.
I'm even beginning to believe that "focusing on inner game" IS
ITSELF an "outer game" tactic sometimes.  So the last thing you
need is me piling on.

But there's something more important at the core of all this.  The
issue at play here is the message that "outer game" is what comes
first.  I strongly believe that either explicitly or implicitly we
as guys are being told--and constantly--that if we have "no game" all
we have to do is "learn some"...and "practice".

Have you stopped to learn that all of this "peacocking" is just an
act?  It's an empty shell.  

Let's say you actually GET a woman's attention.  Uhh...then what?  

Sooner than later, you are going to have to admit to her--by words
AND actions--who you really are.  And the "tricks" and "tactics"
won't carry you through that part.  You have got to BE a man, you
can't just go through the motions of trying to "outer game" her
perpetually.  That's pretty much a ridiculous thought, anyway,
isn't it?

So here it is:  If you are a REAL MAN (which we do spend a lot of
time harping on around here) the "outer game" act can be virtually
nonexistent, and women will LOVE LOVE LOVE you anyway.  Be a
confident man who makes decisions, has life under control, carries
himself with strength and does what he says he's going to do and
your "outer game" can theoretically go no further than taking a
shower and matching your belt to your shoes.  This all goes double
if you can cause great women to feel comfortable in your presence.
In such case you are well on your way to igniting femininity in
precisely those great women who can appreciate a great man.

But lack all those REAL MAN traits, and I don't care if you're the
David Freaking Blaine of "outer game".  Great women with real
options (who are the high-end focus of interest in these parts)
will summarily roll their eyes and whisper "dork" at you if you
roll up on them with nothing more than that kind of emptiness.
Really.  I promise.

Sorry to break this to you if you've been previously brainwashed
into thinking you could trick a great woman into liking you and
have it hold up for more than ten minutes.  (WAIT...is that where the
"get in her pants in under ten minutes" pitch I've heard elsewhere
comes from...social necessity?)  You've got to be a great man of
character.  You've got to deserve what you want.  If you are new to
this newsletter, stay tuned...you'll hear more how that looks and feels
every week.

But wait, didn't I just say that "outer game" really works?
Absolutely.  But ONLY after you have succeeded in deserving what
you want as a great man.  "Outer game" is like icing on the cake.
But if you've ever eaten icing without the cake, you probably
became ill more quickly than you possibly could have expected.
That's a valid analogy.  Nonetheless, once a woman recognizes that
you are a man of strong character and masculine presence, then feel
free to enrich your time together by charming her socks off with
every "stupid human trick" and impeccably-timed zinger you can
carry.  My personal favorite is to subtly produce "hidden" skills
and inane talents out of nowhere when called for...especially after
knowing her for a while.  

The--and only then--will you have great women smiling, shaking
their heads in wonderment and uttering the magic words "you're
amazing".  

Ladies don't shout me down for telling the truth.


Be Good,

Scot
 
=====

NEW PODCAST "DATINGCAST":   Some of you had asked about the
possibility of a shorter podcast with a faster, smaller download
size.  Your questions have been answered.  The obviously-named
"DatingCast" is already here.   We're up to episode five already
RIGHT NOW on iTunes or at http://feeds.feedburner.com/datingcast.
And yeah, we really can't believe the name hadn't been taken yet
either...but it has now.   By the way, the content of the series is
based on the "Rapid Fire" audio program that comes as a bonus with
every e-book.  So if you like what you hear, you know how to get
"instant gratification" as far as upcoming episodes go.  Nice.


SPECIAL PODCAST NOTE FOR iTUNES USERS:  Because of a glitch in the
"Health/Sexuality" category, we moved all of the podcasts.  ODPR
and Nice Guys are now in "Society & Culture/Philosophy", TCW is in
"Health/Alternative Health", and XYotF is now in "Health/Self-Help"
with DatingCast.  Ironically enough, as crowded as we thought some
of those places were, each and every podcast has improved it's
respective position worldwide as a result of the change (including
3 in the worldwide Top 25 for their categories).  Go figure...  If
you get the shows from the feed or from the home of our shows at
http://www.x-net-media.com (www.x-net-media.com) it's business as
usual for you.


MY INTERVIEW ON "UNCOMFORTABLE QUESTIONS": 
Recently I was Sue Grandys' guest on her "Uncomfortable Questions"
podcast.  If you think you'd get a kick out of finding out what my most
foundational, core answers to life's most perplexing questions
sound like, grab a listen.  Sue grills me on some of the deepest
issues imaginable--way beyond dating and relationships.  WARNING:
This show can make your brain hurt!  LOL  The direct download is at
"http://img671.libsyn.com/img671/7be53a6e14a03a4da515412b1356013f/46b239d6/1455/1126/UQ-2007-04-29-Scot.mp3"
and runs about an hour.  The home page for Sue's show is
http://suegrandys.libsyn.com/.  


NEW EPISODES OF VIDEO SHOWS:    Check the "X & Y On The Fly LIVE"
and "The Chick Whisperer TV" shows out on YouTube at:
http://www.youtube.com/group/datingadvice
(www.youtube.com/group/datingadvice).  Episode 4 of TCWTV has now
been unleashed, as has Episode 3 of XYotF LIVE.  Mad love atcha.


AMY WATERMAN AND MARIE FORLEO'S NEW PROGRAM
(FEATURING EMILY) LAUNCHED TODAY: 
...and it's being launched at a special low price
for a few days only.  Ladies, mark my word...this program is
absolutely so right-on in terms of explaining what we guys LOVE
LOVE LOVE about truly great women that it earns my highest
recommendation.  You just can't go wrong with this program.   I
heard bits and pieces of the roundtable conversation that Emily did
going on behind closed doors, and I knew then it was going to be
legendary.  Having now heard the whole thing, I can reasonably say
that it alone is worth getting the program for.  An absolute
masterpiece.  Need more?  How about this excerpt from the press
release:  "At last, something that doesn't teach women to act like
men or play dumb like bimbos. This is a course for real women,
women with minds and intellects, women who want to attract men
without compromising their integrity."  Ladies, you couldn't pick
three better women to hear from.  Seriously.  You can find the
"Make Every Man Want You More" program at
http://xandycom.unicades.hop.clickbank.net?type=wantmore
(www.keystobliss.com/wantmore).  


TEN-PLUS IS FOR THOSE WHO REFUSE TO SETTLE:  Ten-Plus is a guided,
structured plan of action for your dating success that is already
changing lives.  Email me at info@xandycommunications.net for more
info and/or find out more at http://www.dating-coaches.com
(www.dating-coaches.com).  Your first fifteen-minute consultation
is free--decide for yourself.  And...I'm still the only guy who
stands behind his coaching program with a 100% guarantee.


X & Y ON THE FLY:  Look for Episode 31 in the very near future.  It
will be on "Attraction Maintenance", and our guest is one of the
undisputed kings when it comes to that topic:  David Wygant. Plus, I'm
proud to say we've busted out with the mobile recording device again.
Keep an eye on  http://feeds.feedburner.com/xyonthefly and you should
be able to get your hands on that within the week.   


EMILY'S "KEYS TO BLISS" NEWSLETTER:   Sign up by sending a blank
email to emily@aweber.com.  No subject or text is necessary.
Joining will not affect your membership to this newsletter.  A lot
of the guys are joining, I've noticed.  There really is a lot to be
gained from hearing the other perspective, isn't there?

    
PODCAST PHONE NUMBERS TO LISTEN IN ON:

X & Y On The Fly
289-466-5002
Feed:  http://feeds.feedburner.com/xyonthefly

The Chick Whisperer
415-376-7267
Feed:  http://feeds.feedburner.com/thechickwhisperer

Online Dating Profile Rating
305-890-1549
Feed:  http://feeds.feedburner.com/onlinedating

Nice Guys Need Love Too--Comedy Cast
305-890-1558
Feed:  http://feeds.feedburner.com/niceguys



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X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
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