[X&Y] Why Guys Who Get Women Don't Do April Fool's Jokes

Published: Tue, 04/01/14



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IN THIS EDITION:  A dead serious look at April Fool's Day...

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WHY GUYS WHO GET WOMEN DON'T DO APRIL FOOL'S JOKES


As you can plainly see, the title of this newsletter isn't, "Urgent
Notice:  X & Y Communications is switching its focus from extolling
the virtues of masculinity to cake decorating."   

Notice I didn't go with, "Emily Has Left Me And Joined A Convent"
either.

There's a reason for that.  It just might be the SAME reason why
it's now a bit past noon on April 1st as I'm writing this, but have
yet to receive ANYTHING via e-mail that mentions April Fool's Day.

To put it bluntly, nobody likes getting "played".   

I have a feeling that April Fool's Day itself is what's starting to
feel "played" to most people instead.  

Never mind the fact that nobody knows whether or not there's an
apostrophe in it or not, let alone exactly where it belongs if it's
supposed to be there.  

The bottom line is that feeling like an idiot is no fun.

Granted, people should be easy going and have a sense of humor
about stuff like this.  I'm fully on board with that.  

But look at it this way, what is there to be gained from "messing
with people" and making them feel stupid?

It most certainly wouldn't give a woman the impression that you
were all about her best interests.  Having a laugh at someone
else's expense is in diametric opposition to that very principle by
design.

How is she supposed to understand you to be a "big four" man who's
all about safety and security when she can't trust what's coming
out of your mouth?

Am I overreacting here?  Probably.  

But ultimately, the fact that today is April 1st is really only a
good excuse to bring up the topic of "humor by deception" in
general, which I've been getting around to doing for some time now.

We as men tend to do this to each other all the time.  Some guys
even get their kicks by taking it to an extreme.

Consider the following example:



  Friend 1:  "Dude...your girlfriend just told me she's breaking up
  with you today for another guy."


  Friend 2:  "That's ridiculous.  I just talked to her an hour ago
  and everything was perfectly cool."


  Friend 1:  (with a straight face)  "I don't know, man...I think you'd
  better talk to her again."


  Friend 2:  "I know you're just trying to mess with me.  Give me a
  break."


  Friend 1:  "Hmm... Well, you can believe me or not.  But don't say I
  didn't tell you what to expect."


  Friend 2:  "You're lying."


  Friend 1: (still with a straight face)  "No, I'm dead serious, dude.
  I think you might want to call her again."


  Friend 2:  (after a long pause reaches for his cell phone with a
  concerned look on his face)


  Friend 1:  (bursts out laughing)  "Ha ha!  I swear, you're so
  gullible!  Ahahaha..."



As you can see, "Friend 1" thinks the whole thing is hilarious.
Meanwhile, "Friend 2" is left thinking "Friend 1" isn't much of a
"friend" at all.

So what's the problem, here?

Deep down, "Friend 1" is feeling the need to assert power over
someone else.  By pulling one over on "Friend 2" he gets to feel
that temporary rush.

But "Friend 1" not only feels downright violated, he likely sees
right through "Friend 1's" intentions, and quite possibly his
insecure mindset as well.   

Yeah, sure...if "Friend 2" wanted to he could even the score when
"Friend 1" least expects it, and that's a pattern followed by many,
many social circles of guys.  But if he's truly an "alpha" leader
type, he won't.  

He won't need to.  As the coolest guy in the group, he'll be
recognized as the one who seeks to make everyone else look BETTER
in the presence of others rather than WORSE.

Meanwhile, if the definition of "douche" is someone who thinks he's
cooler than everyone else perceives him to be, then "Friend 1"
could easily be up for South Park's "Biggest Douche In The
Universe" award.

Now, if we as guys get perturbed when someone messes with us like
this, imagine how women look at it.

Interestingly, women almost NEVER "mess with each other" in the way
I just described.  So generally speaking, they don't even really
tend to relate well to the humor element behind it.

Rather, they simple feel sort of, well...stupid.  And they'll start
thinking they really can't trust you with even the small things,
let alone the bigger deals in life.

Hopefully, I don't have to elaborate further on why making a woman
feel like an idiot whose trust has just been violated isn't a very
good way to create attraction.

So you could say that if other dudes don't really appreciate being
toyed with, that goes DOUBLE for women.

Seriously, messing with people for the purpose of personal
amusement is no joke.  I've personally sworn off doing it for well
over a decade now, and all it's done is increase the number and
quality of my friendships.

If you're still thinking of all this as just an innocuous way to
play around, my suggestion is to put it aside for a few weeks or
months and see how that one simple change affects your social life
for the better.

Watch as people start to enjoy your company more and give you a
greater amount of respect.

Better yet, watch how your girlfriend never really ends up leaving
you for another guy.


Be Good,

Scot McKay




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