[X&Y] The "Hidden Trap"...Have You Been Snared?
Published: Fri, 04/18/14
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IN THIS EDITION: Before you jump into the "feeding frenzy" of
meeting a bunch of women online or offline, read this...
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IS YOUR PHONE YOUR WORST ENEMY?
I'd need both hands to count how many personal friends of mine
have a habit of RUINING nearly every relationship they have
with women...with their PHONES.
And to be honest, I know they're not the only ones.
I have to admit that I've messed up quite a bit myself.
You know...getting roped into weird texting conversations that
invariably end up in a HUGE, UGLY misunderstanding.
And what about those awkward silences on the phone?
And the dreaded "voice mail freeze"?
You've got to be kidding. If there's a way to get out from
under all the "heavy lifting" involved with getting phone calls
and texting right, you KNOW you'd go for it.
Well, wish no more:
http://www.scotrecommends.com/uct
I told you about this yesterday for the first time EVER, and
you guys were on it like white on European airliners.
That's for good reason. Just like those airliners, every bit
of what's in Ultimate Calling & Texting has an EXCELLENT flight
safety record.
(OK...can you tell I'm trying to "pep talk" myself, given that
I've got to fly something called "Belavia" tomorrow morning?)
Never mind that.
The important thing here is that YOU will never have to worry
about calling and texting women EVER again, just as long as you
get your hands on this:
http://www.scotrecommends.com/uct
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THE "HIDDEN TRAP" THAT ENSNARES GUYS WHEN MEETING WOMEN...ONLINE OR OFFLINE
I don't care if you're meeting women online or anywhere else,
there's one disastrous outcome that is probably more painful than
all other possible bad things we fear happening combined.
That's when we have her completely attracted and into us...but then
BLOW IT by doing something wrong.
I mean, if she's flatly uninterested in us from the start, that's
one thing. But man, when you've got everything working so well
only to suddenly see it in her eyes that everything has just
fizzled...wow.
Worst of all, we often don't even know what we did. And we might
NEVER find out.
Well, I can't give you the 20/20 foresight you need to prevent
setting off every random "mood killer" that any particular woman
might react negatively to. But that said, I can give you one
MAJOR bit of insight that might prevent it from happening to you in
a certain very common situation.
So here we go... The baseline principle to ALWAYS keep in mind here
is this: Women travel in PACKS, but they're not ALWAYS necessarily
together all the time when they do.
This means that when you go to a party, a social event or--yes--even
a club and are up for meeting some women, it's always best to scout
out who any particular woman is hanging out with BEFORE introducing
yourself and getting her number.
Otherwise, if you inadvertently show interest in more than one
woman who's part of a particular social circle, you'll likely
create drama.
In other words, if you have enchanted two women who are friends,
you've created a dilemma. And especially if they're good friends,
you'll likely be the one who ends up being the "third wheel".
Or, you might come off as a "player". If that turns them off, then
bingo...you've got it. You're going to walk away empty handed as
well.
So yes, just a little bit of recon ahead of time goes a long, long
way. The key is patience...even if that means violating ye olde
"three second rule" in favor of a more evolved approach strategy.
Now, if at this point you're thinking to yourself, "thank you,
Captain Obvious" I'm about to take this to the next level for you.
So hang in there.
Amazingly, the exact same principle applies to ONLINE DATING
because a similar scenario can occur.
How's that?
Well, it's not at all unusual for groups of single female friends
to decide to try online dating at the same time. And yes, if you
end up e-mailing more than one of them, you'll likely lose out on
meeting ALL of them.
As you might imagine, if you end up e-mailing two or more women who
are friends the same "cut and paste" template message, you're
especially out of luck ("plus one" for avoiding template messages
altogether, right?)
Maybe you're saying, "You've got to be kidding, Scot. What are the
chances?"
Well, I've had this situation flare up no fewer than THREE times in
my personal experience...and I live in a metro area of a million and
a half people. You can only imagine the likelihood of such a thing
happening in smaller cities.
There have been at least three guys I've coached who had something
similar happen to them. So yes, this isn't "flukish". It's a very
real pitfall that you've got to avoid.
So how on Earth do you mitigate against this?
Well, because online dating profiles themselves do NOT "travel in
packs", nothing is foolproof. But here are a few things to look
out for.
The first step is to recognize that women who have signed up around
the same time are more likely to know each other.
Since I heartily recommend focusing searches on women who indeed
are new to the site, that means you've always got to have your
"radar" on for the rest of what I'm about to talk about.
Next, remember that women have a tendency to be friends with other
women who similar in physical attractiveness to themselves. This
isn't always true, but it is more often than not.
So you've got to bear in mind that women who sign up at the same
time and who are similarly attractive MIGHT know each other.
If two or more women you're interested in follow that pattern, it's
time to look deeper.
Note any similarities in their profile narratives. Female friends
might compare notes or even help write each other's profiles before
posting them online.
If you find the same phrase or any other uncanny "coincidence" in
two or more women's profiles, that's pretty much a dead giveaway
that they know each other.
Also note what they put down in the "job/career" section. If
they're in the same line of work, they may actually be coworkers.
Finally, look at their respective zip codes. Are they the same, or
even in close proximity to each other? That's another strong hint
that they're friends.
Groups of three or four women who know each other might actually
get online at the same time. It makes you wonder how they think
they're NOT going to end up communicating with the same men, but go
figure...
All I know is that in the online dating world ANY conversation
implies potential interest, so e-mailing two or more women who are
friends at the same time is never, ever going to end well.
It really doesn't matter whether they get mad at each other, mad at
you, both, or they just drop you like a bad habit and move on.
NONE of those results is favorable for anyone.
So play it cool by e-mailing one woman at a time if you even
suspect she knows another woman you're interested in.
Keep the message masculine but not sexually charged, and (as
always) free of "pre-approval". That way if you don't get an
answer from the first, you haven't necessarily blown your cover
(and therefore your chances) with the next woman.
And above all, for the 1000th time avoid the "cut and paste" stuff,
okay?
Remember, whether you're meeting women online or offline, it's not
your fault if you end up showing interest in two women who you
thought were "acting alone" but who were actually at the "party"
together. No matter what happens, it's not like you intended to
be the "bad guy".
But if and when you get caught in this snare, it's likely to make
you throw up your hands and shake your head. Correction: It's
just likely to make you throw up, huh?
So then, it's much better to avoid the whole mess to begin with.
From now on you'll have no problem doing that.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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