[X&Y] Exactly Why Putting A Woman On A Pedestal Is A Bad Idea
Published: Tue, 04/08/14
=====
IN THIS EDITION: You've heard a million times that "putting women
on a pedestal" is a bad idea. Now it's time to find out exactly
WHY...and it's not just about your perceived "value" versus hers.
=====
THE MASTER PLAN FOR BEING "THE MAN"
Ask a woman what her idea of a "man" is, and you won't hear
anything about being "macho"
She won't want to talk about jet-skis, golf handicaps or especially
hunting trophies.
What you WILL hear will be "code" for what makes her HOT for a guy.
It's true.
In fact, were I to ask YOU what makes a woman 100% female, chances
are you'd quickly rattle off a list of everything that makes YOU
hot for HER.
It's all part of the natural order of things.
Yes, I said "natural". It's your birthright as a man to make women
HOT for you. If you think about it, that makes perfect, logical
sense.
Unfortunately, we as guys get mixed messages from society
about masculinity.
That's why my program The Master Plan is all about clearing away
the fog and getting you back to where you belong: In front of those
irresistibly feminine women who will be VERY, VERY happy to meet
you:
Use "masterplan50" To Get The Master Plan For 50% Off
What red-blooded guy wouldn't want to intrigue their socks off,
right? Well, it's time for you to get in on what's been making the
world go 'round for millennia.
It's as simple as this: Masculinity and femininity are the basic
building blocks of sexual attraction. Get your masculinity running
on all cylinders and you'll fire her up like the spark plug she is.
Yesterday I told you that I had activated the masterplan50 coupon
code, giving you the chance to score The Master Plan for a full 50%
off. That coupon is live until tomorrow night at midnight Pacific
Daylight Time:
www.deservewhatyouwant.com/masterplan/subscribers
It's time to make a bold move to stop settling for the "Just Be
Friends Zone". That place is populated only by "neuter" guys.
When you man up, the women respond the way you've always wanted
to...because that's how it's SUPPOSED to be.
=====
EXACTLY WHY PUTTING A WOMAN ON A PEDESTAL IS A BAD IDEA
The theme of today's newsletter is one that's talked about quite a
bit in men's dating and seduction advice.
By now we know the basic warning all too well: Put a woman on a
pedestal, and you send a clear message to her that she's of "higher
value" than you are, and therefore she'll never in a million years
be attracted to you.
Not good.
For what it's worth, I completely believe in the truth of that
statement. Nothing's going to cause a woman to banish you to the
"Just Be Friends Zone" any faster than demonstrating to her that
even YOU believe she's out of your league.
After all, when the knights of old first romanticized the concept
of "placing a woman on a pedestal", I'm pretty sure they weren't
implying that they (or we) should "worship her". Chivalry was
supposed to underscore masculinity, not defeat it.
But nonetheless, you know how the story typically ends nowadays.
The woman you're so hopelessly idealizing sees nothing particularly
wrong with you, and even SHE is frustrated because she can't figure
out why she's "just not feeling it" for you.
What's happened in such a case is you've actually triggered in her
a sinking feeling that SHE would be the center of your world.
And in order for her to feel as if you can provide her that
all-important (and attractive) feeling of safety and security, the
last thing you can expect to get away with is thrusting upon her
full responsibility for YOUR ambition, motivation and passion.
After all, that's supposed to be YOUR job, not HERS.
The whole scenario starts looking like a dog chasing its tail at
that point. And as we all know about dogs that chase their own
tails, they go nowhere...fast.
That alone gives a bit more insight into why putting a woman on a
pedestal backfires. But there's more.
As we were just reminded, women need to feel safe and secure in our
presence. That's a major linchpin of the "Big Four".
So with that in mind, let's turn our attention to what would happen
even if putting her on a pedestal actually worked.
What if you covered your bases elsewhere in the attraction process
and she actually ended up interested enough to go out with you
anyway?
Well if you've idealized her so much up front that she can
basically do no wrong, she may feel pressured to live up to your
expectations.
And if your expectation is perfection, that's going to drive her
NUTS.
Do you want to turn a perfectly decent woman into a raving psycho
who resents YOU every time she exhibits any form of basic human
frailty?
Congratulations, you might find that you will have successfully
created that monster, doctor.
And what about you?
When you spot a woman and she immediately is exalted to
goddess-like status in your estimation, there's NO WAY she's going
to meet your expectations.
You almost can't blame her for growing more and more frustrated
trying to keep up with your imagination.
After all, she's going to fail you. You ARE going to find out
she's human after all.
And that's when guys tend to pull stunts like losing all attraction
for a woman the first time she gets sick in your bathroom. ...Or
the first time you see her in the morning without makeup. ...Or the
first time she "loses composure" and cries about something.
In fact, if you can relate to what I'm talking about, chances are
you've indeed been putting women on pedestals up front, only to be
disappointed later...even after getting what you thought you wanted
so badly.
And here's the "punch line": When you find yourself suddenly not
attracted anymore, you often can't really put your finger on WHY
you're "not feeling it anymore".
And so the whole dynamic comes full circle.
Notably, I've been assuming thus far that the woman of your
affection is a well-adjusted human being with a healthy self-image.
I haven't even mentioned what happens when you place a woman with
low self-esteem on a pedestal. And we all know that LOTS and LOTS
of women fit that description.
Well, THAT woman is likely to be even more disgusted by you should
you adore her profusely.
Why?
Well, if she sees little or no value in herself, what does your
adoration say to HER about YOU? If she perceives that you see more
value in her than she does in herself, how can that possibly end
well for you?
You'd hope that your confidence in her would inspire her to think
more highly of herself, right?
Unfortunately, however, that's not usually how the cookie crumbles.
You can't often just walk up and fix low self-esteem.
The hard truth is that YOU'LL become even LESS valuable to her for
thinking so highly of her.
Pretty twisted, but that's how it's likely to go.
In her mind, at least the guy who "understands" her low value and
treats her accordingly will come off as "honest", and she'll feel
like she's with the kind of guy she "deserves".
Welcome, as an added bonus here, to why you should RUN AWAY from
women with low self-esteem.
But ultimately, whether the woman has a healthy self-esteem or an
unhealthy self-image, you lose either way when you place her on a
pedestal.
That's the bottom line.
The high quality woman who is a real gem slots you beneath her
(even if subconsciously), while the woman with low self-esteem
straight-up faults you for thinking highly of her.
So the moral of the story here is dead simple.
Stop pre-qualifying women as the "perfect woman" up front, and do
both you AND her the service of evaluating what's beneath the
attractive exterior.
That's a key first step to creating the proper environment for a
real, solid relationship to potentially develop.
View yourself as a man with real options, who is neither rushed nor
forced into scrambling to keep that ONE "pretty face" from
rejecting him.
Because in the end, if you put a woman on a pedestal--especially
very early on--rejection may have actually been the easier and less
painful way out.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2014. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly (and promptly) remove you from our mailing list.
IN THIS EDITION: You've heard a million times that "putting women
on a pedestal" is a bad idea. Now it's time to find out exactly
WHY...and it's not just about your perceived "value" versus hers.
=====
THE MASTER PLAN FOR BEING "THE MAN"
Ask a woman what her idea of a "man" is, and you won't hear
anything about being "macho"
She won't want to talk about jet-skis, golf handicaps or especially
hunting trophies.
What you WILL hear will be "code" for what makes her HOT for a guy.
It's true.
In fact, were I to ask YOU what makes a woman 100% female, chances
are you'd quickly rattle off a list of everything that makes YOU
hot for HER.
It's all part of the natural order of things.
Yes, I said "natural". It's your birthright as a man to make women
HOT for you. If you think about it, that makes perfect, logical
sense.
Unfortunately, we as guys get mixed messages from society
about masculinity.
That's why my program The Master Plan is all about clearing away
the fog and getting you back to where you belong: In front of those
irresistibly feminine women who will be VERY, VERY happy to meet
you:
Use "masterplan50" To Get The Master Plan For 50% Off
What red-blooded guy wouldn't want to intrigue their socks off,
right? Well, it's time for you to get in on what's been making the
world go 'round for millennia.
It's as simple as this: Masculinity and femininity are the basic
building blocks of sexual attraction. Get your masculinity running
on all cylinders and you'll fire her up like the spark plug she is.
Yesterday I told you that I had activated the masterplan50 coupon
code, giving you the chance to score The Master Plan for a full 50%
off. That coupon is live until tomorrow night at midnight Pacific
Daylight Time:
www.deservewhatyouwant.com/masterplan/subscribers
It's time to make a bold move to stop settling for the "Just Be
Friends Zone". That place is populated only by "neuter" guys.
When you man up, the women respond the way you've always wanted
to...because that's how it's SUPPOSED to be.
=====
EXACTLY WHY PUTTING A WOMAN ON A PEDESTAL IS A BAD IDEA
The theme of today's newsletter is one that's talked about quite a
bit in men's dating and seduction advice.
By now we know the basic warning all too well: Put a woman on a
pedestal, and you send a clear message to her that she's of "higher
value" than you are, and therefore she'll never in a million years
be attracted to you.
Not good.
For what it's worth, I completely believe in the truth of that
statement. Nothing's going to cause a woman to banish you to the
"Just Be Friends Zone" any faster than demonstrating to her that
even YOU believe she's out of your league.
After all, when the knights of old first romanticized the concept
of "placing a woman on a pedestal", I'm pretty sure they weren't
implying that they (or we) should "worship her". Chivalry was
supposed to underscore masculinity, not defeat it.
But nonetheless, you know how the story typically ends nowadays.
The woman you're so hopelessly idealizing sees nothing particularly
wrong with you, and even SHE is frustrated because she can't figure
out why she's "just not feeling it" for you.
What's happened in such a case is you've actually triggered in her
a sinking feeling that SHE would be the center of your world.
And in order for her to feel as if you can provide her that
all-important (and attractive) feeling of safety and security, the
last thing you can expect to get away with is thrusting upon her
full responsibility for YOUR ambition, motivation and passion.
After all, that's supposed to be YOUR job, not HERS.
The whole scenario starts looking like a dog chasing its tail at
that point. And as we all know about dogs that chase their own
tails, they go nowhere...fast.
That alone gives a bit more insight into why putting a woman on a
pedestal backfires. But there's more.
As we were just reminded, women need to feel safe and secure in our
presence. That's a major linchpin of the "Big Four".
So with that in mind, let's turn our attention to what would happen
even if putting her on a pedestal actually worked.
What if you covered your bases elsewhere in the attraction process
and she actually ended up interested enough to go out with you
anyway?
Well if you've idealized her so much up front that she can
basically do no wrong, she may feel pressured to live up to your
expectations.
And if your expectation is perfection, that's going to drive her
NUTS.
Do you want to turn a perfectly decent woman into a raving psycho
who resents YOU every time she exhibits any form of basic human
frailty?
Congratulations, you might find that you will have successfully
created that monster, doctor.
And what about you?
When you spot a woman and she immediately is exalted to
goddess-like status in your estimation, there's NO WAY she's going
to meet your expectations.
You almost can't blame her for growing more and more frustrated
trying to keep up with your imagination.
After all, she's going to fail you. You ARE going to find out
she's human after all.
And that's when guys tend to pull stunts like losing all attraction
for a woman the first time she gets sick in your bathroom. ...Or
the first time you see her in the morning without makeup. ...Or the
first time she "loses composure" and cries about something.
In fact, if you can relate to what I'm talking about, chances are
you've indeed been putting women on pedestals up front, only to be
disappointed later...even after getting what you thought you wanted
so badly.
And here's the "punch line": When you find yourself suddenly not
attracted anymore, you often can't really put your finger on WHY
you're "not feeling it anymore".
And so the whole dynamic comes full circle.
Notably, I've been assuming thus far that the woman of your
affection is a well-adjusted human being with a healthy self-image.
I haven't even mentioned what happens when you place a woman with
low self-esteem on a pedestal. And we all know that LOTS and LOTS
of women fit that description.
Well, THAT woman is likely to be even more disgusted by you should
you adore her profusely.
Why?
Well, if she sees little or no value in herself, what does your
adoration say to HER about YOU? If she perceives that you see more
value in her than she does in herself, how can that possibly end
well for you?
You'd hope that your confidence in her would inspire her to think
more highly of herself, right?
Unfortunately, however, that's not usually how the cookie crumbles.
You can't often just walk up and fix low self-esteem.
The hard truth is that YOU'LL become even LESS valuable to her for
thinking so highly of her.
Pretty twisted, but that's how it's likely to go.
In her mind, at least the guy who "understands" her low value and
treats her accordingly will come off as "honest", and she'll feel
like she's with the kind of guy she "deserves".
Welcome, as an added bonus here, to why you should RUN AWAY from
women with low self-esteem.
But ultimately, whether the woman has a healthy self-esteem or an
unhealthy self-image, you lose either way when you place her on a
pedestal.
That's the bottom line.
The high quality woman who is a real gem slots you beneath her
(even if subconsciously), while the woman with low self-esteem
straight-up faults you for thinking highly of her.
So the moral of the story here is dead simple.
Stop pre-qualifying women as the "perfect woman" up front, and do
both you AND her the service of evaluating what's beneath the
attractive exterior.
That's a key first step to creating the proper environment for a
real, solid relationship to potentially develop.
View yourself as a man with real options, who is neither rushed nor
forced into scrambling to keep that ONE "pretty face" from
rejecting him.
Because in the end, if you put a woman on a pedestal--especially
very early on--rejection may have actually been the easier and less
painful way out.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2014. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly (and promptly) remove you from our mailing list.