[X&Y] What To Do If Some Other Dude "Cuts In"
Published: Sat, 08/09/14
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WHAT'S INSIDE: You're talking to a woman and some other dude
blatantly starts talking to her also--cutting you off. What do you
do?
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ONLY GUYS WHO DON'T GET IT ARE ANGRY ABOUT IT
If you didn't see yet when I sent it to you earlier in the week,
you really should.
But there IS one thing you need to know first.
This video tends to get reactions from guys that range from shock
to quiet reverence to "righteous indignance" (i.e. anger, really):
http://www.scotrecommends.com/gfas
Yes, what The Social Man has come up with is cutting edge stuff.
And when ground is broken like that, it ruffles people's feathers.
But Christian really is on to something here.
Most of you know him already, and whenever I collaborate with the
guys at The Social Man you guys always give it high marks.
Christian's never thought of himself as a PUA or "player" since he
usually prefers to have a steady girlfriend, but he's the only guy
I know who's dated famous gorgeous women consistently (two of his
girlfriends were in the Sasha Baron Cohen movie "The Dictator"
together).
How does he do it?
First off, he would tell you that women have totally tricked
themselves.
They may SAY they want a certain type of guy, but there are always
deeper and darker desires going on in their brains that they don't
even like to admit to themselves.
Christian has done a phenomenal job of harnessing knowledge of
all that and converting it to POWER for you.
Catch this video before it has to come down:
http://www.scotrecommends.com/gfas
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WHAT TO DO WHEN SOME OTHER DUDE "CUTS IN"
There aren't many dating coaches who write about how to handle
potential conflict situations presented by other guys who have
their eye on the same woman you do.
That's probably because it's not a particularly fun or amusing
subject to talk about.
But the fact remains that you've got to know how to handle yourself
when faced with sudden--and perhaps obnoxious--competition.
Such sticky situations can take various forms depending on the
scenario, but today I want to cover a very specific one. It
happens to be the one that I'd say most guys dread the most.
Let's call it the "Cut In".
I'm sure you've seen those old-skool movies where a guy and his
chick are dancing in the ballroom at some fancy party, when some
other guy walks up and asks the guy, "May I cut in?"
I've never understood that whole transaction, personally.
I mean, if it's a wedding and the bride's Uncle Pete wants a quick
dance with the bride because his train leaves in 25 minutes, that's
one thing.
But what d-bag who appears out of nowhere trying to dance with the
woman YOU'RE with is so polite about it?
And who in their right mind answers such a ridiculous question
affirmatively, right?
Well nowadays, at least, it would seem that when a guy would rather
HE be the center of a woman's attention than YOU, things tend to
play out a bit differently--even if his desired results are similar.
These other guys tend not to ask if they can "cut in". They just DO.
The other day a guy scheduled some phone time with me specifically
to get my thoughts on THIS very issue.
"So Scot", he started, "here's why I wanted to talk to you."
"OK man, what's on your mind?"
"Alright, here goes. Let's say you're at some sort of party or
social event. You're talking to a girl, and WHAM...some other guy
literally steps in between you and the girl, just blatantly turns
his back to you and starts talking to her instead?"
Ouch, right? I think just about all of us have had that one happen
to us...and it SUCKS, doesn't it?
I mean, talk about feeling like the wimp at the beach who just got
sand kicked in his face. That's about as close to the non-seaside
equivalent as I can think of.
And I have to tell you, the guy asking me the question was a
military guy about six-feet tall.
So no matter who you are, there ALWAYS seems to be someone cocky
enough to impose his will upon you with his physical presence.
That's the part that makes this such a difficult situation to
handle for most guys.
What in the world are you freaking supposed to do?
Well, here's the deal. There IS an answer to that question, and
it's the RIGHT answer.
Fair warning, though: You may or may not particularly like what
I'm about to suggest at first. But if you're willing to think
about it for a while it just might start making sense.
You see, 99.9% of all of us make a critical error in judgment
the moment something like that happens to us.
We make it all about US--how WE'VE just been disrespected, how
everyone much be watching US, and how WE are going to salvage OUR
dignity and feed OUR ego.
That's a big mistake because it almost invariably leads to a stupid
knee-jerk reaction.
Think about all of this for a second. What would you do?
For example, if some apparently overconfident guy who you think you
could "take" in a fight does such a thing, you might grab him by
the shoulder, spin him around and invite him to take a hike.
Heck, even if he's twice your size you may find the stones to do
the same thing.
But if the guy really is twice your size, you might instead finding
yourself tapping him on the shoulder and saying, "Um...excuse me sir.
I was...um...talking to the lady there. I don't know if you saw me,
or um...whatever...so if you sort of wouldn't mind, um...?"
Or let's face it, you just might throw up your hands in frustration
and walk away...in shame.
Well, here's something that might just surprise you. NONE of the
ideas I've just presented are good ones.
That's right. Not even the one that sort of looks like you're
"defending your manhood".
What I suggest instead is STOPPING in that split second when
everything inside you tells you to "do something".
Instead, take a deep breath, get out of your own head and WATCH THE
WOMAN.
Her reaction to what's happening will tell you everything you need
to know.
What you're probably not thinking about in the heat of the moment
is that the other guy has not only just committed an aggressive and
downright rude act against you, he's committed one against HER also.
What's aggressive and rude in someone's eyes is usually aggressive
and rude in EVERYONE'S eyes...everyone who has legitimate social
skills, that is.
And where I come from, aggressive rudeness is pretty contrary to
everything that the "Big Four" represent. (At least, the last I
checked.)
Since the "Big Four" attracts high quality woman, it follows suit
that what's CONTRARY to it wouldn't, no?
So if you're patient for what amounts to a matter of a few seconds,
the woman will express distaste to the guy for what he did and tell
him to get lost--especially if she was enjoying her conversation
with you.
"Um...excuse me", she might say, "I'm in the middle of a conversation
here. How rude!"
And if the guy continues trying to talk to her at that point?
THAT'S when you can leverage the very real "power shift" that just
took place.
At that point YOU are the one who's back in the dominant position
with the woman.
You simply walk around the guy so you're standing next to the woman
and give him a look as if to casually indicate, "What, didn't you
hear her? How awkward for you, man."
Then you can let a smile cross your face as if you're trying to
restrain laughter.
Importantly, understand that it's that shift in the power position
that will cause the other guy to back off.
Things will not have turned out as he arrogantly expected them to,
so he'll likely make some lame excuse and pretend like nothing
happened.
Unless he's not right in the head, he's not going to get aggressive
with you for the same reason he's not going to continue running his
trap: He already looks like an idiot and anything further would
only dig the hole deeper.
And hey, if it turns out that he is in fact totally nuts, you
simply take the woman's hand and remove her from the situation.
All bets are off at that point.
So then, what if, on the other hand, you watch the woman's reaction
and she appears to LIKE talking to this other guy better, for some
crazy reason?
Let me assure you that this will NOT be a high percentage of the
time. But if it DOES happen, consider two very logical thoughts.
First, if she entertains such aggressive rudeness, you're almost
certainly dealing with a woman who would be a BAD choice for a
girlfriend anyway. You're better off without her.
But more importantly, you've GOT to conclude that if she DOES allow
the "cut in" to happen with her consent, she wasn't digging your
chili to begin with.
Chalk it up to the game and find a woman more worthy of your
conversation...without making anything of it.
"But Scot," someone said, "isn't that being a wuss?"
Listen up. I fully understand why you'd really want me to recommend
slapping on a set of brass knuckles and clocking the guy one.
But what good would that do you, really?
Never mind the old adage that "he who hits first gets the assault
charge". You don't want to spend the night in jail over this
jerk--or this indifferent woman.
The real point is this, however. The first rule of not giving your
power away is that you can't "give away" what you never really had
to begin with.
If this woman didn't like you, there IS no "power"--and there never
WAS any.
So then, even if you do try to break bad with the guy or somehow
salvage the conversation when the woman would rather be talking to
him anyway, what happens?
Give yourself a gold star if your answer is, "He'll stand beside
the woman, give you a look as if to indicate, 'What are YOU still
doing here?' and try not to laugh his head off."
There IS no "getting your power back" when she has no interest in
you--and that goes for any situation with a woman, by the way,
whether you've known her ten seconds or ten years.
The best move is to re-charge your personal power elsewhere by
MOVING ON to a woman who is more interested.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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