[X&Y] What To Say When You Want Her To Be Your Girlfriend
Published: Sun, 09/21/14
=====
IN THIS EDITION: Want to go exclusive with a certain woman you've
been dating? Even if you're not at that point right now, you
might be someday soon...so don't miss this.
=====
HOW TO CURE THE MOST FRUSTRATING PROBLEM OF ALL
If you fear approaching women, you already know what the issue is.
And if you're "Mr. Nice Guy" you can pinpoint that right away also.
But what about if you keep going on first dates only to have women
RUN AWAY before a second date ever happens...and you DON'T know why?
Man, that has to be THE WORST, especially if you're seeing a similar
pattern over and over.
That's not only because you've already invested time, effort and
emotion; but also because women usually don't bother to tell you
what went wrong. They just never talk to you again.
Deep down, you know there just has to be some "hidden detractor"
that's chasing women away, but you have no earthly idea WHAT it is.
Well, let me introduce you to the one guy who literally specializes
in identifying "hidden detractors"--and better yet, getting rid of
them FOREVER:
http://www.scotrecommends.com/rob
When I say this guy's a "miracle worker", I'm not kidding.
Usually it takes live 1-on-1 coaching to find the root cause of
these underlying attraction killers, but now you can apply some
very simple secrets and deal with the problem immediately.
Yes, it's "unconventional". Some say it's downright weird.
And for sure, this guy is one of those rare gems whose real,
practical content is way better than his "marketing fluff".
Put it all together and you've got one of the most original,
powerful and genuine ways to improve your chances with high
quality women that I've ever seen:
http://www.scotrecommends.com/rob
Seriously...if first dates haven't been ending well and you know
something has GOT to be done about it, stop cheating yourself out
of a decent chance with the women you really want.
Take a look at what's behind that link above.
=====
WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU WANT HER TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND
Yesterday we talked about being "too safe" as opposed to properly
inspiring security in a woman. As promised, today we're going to
take that conversation to the next level.
It occurred to me during a recent coaching call that many of us
as guys are actually blowing our chances with women who genuinely,
seriously like us at precisely the moment we ask them to become
our girlfriends...all because we want to seem "safe".
What in the world can I possibly mean by that?
Well, consider for a moment that you're dating a sharp, successful
woman (hopefully this isn't much of a stretch for you by now).
She spends most of her life sorting out men who can't stand up to
her. You know, men who are too timid to offer any real leadership.
In fact, most men she's dated have automatically assumed SHE wanted
to "wear the pants" in the relationship.
But along you come, and you're different. You show signs of being
a true "Big Four" man.
As a result, she becomes HOPEFUL that your masculine confidence and
your ability to inspire HER confidence will hold together over
time. In other words, she's looking for you to show CHARACTER.
She hints that she really enjoys spending time with you.
But when the day comes that you decide to make her your girlfriend
you say something like this: "Uh...if it's okay with you, would
you maybe possibly like to be my girlfriend? I think a relationship
is worth a TRY."
And to your dismay, she's ambiguous (at best) with her answer
rather than enthusiastically positive.
What happened there?
In the example I gave, three things went wrong.
First of all, by ASKING her for an exclusive relationship, the
leadership position is thrust upon her. She wanted you as a MAN to
take the lead.
Second, by using the word "try" an attitude of expected failure is
conveyed. Think about it. If you invite people you know to a
party, and they tell you they'll "try to make it", what are the
chances they'll actually show up?
Third, and most importantly, by using syntax like "if it's okay
with you", "maybe" and "possibly" the woman sees only a man who is
attempting to insulate himself from potential rejection.
And if a man is doubtful of his own worthiness, then she's likely
to follow that lead.
By the way, a woman may not even know WHY she's reticent to become
a guy's girlfriend under such circumstances. She'll simply be
disappointed, confused, and somehow insecure about the
relationship.
Crazily, it's because we're TOO SAFE that we cause INSECURITY in a
woman in situations like this. How's that for irony?
Want a more favorable response from a high quality woman you'd like
to be in an exclusive relationship with? Assuming she is at least
hinting she wants the same, try this:
"Both of us have busy social lives, I realize. But we're clearly
enjoying each other's company more and more as we get to know each
other better. I've decided that I really don't want or need to
fill my schedule with other women besides you. From now on I think
you and I should be together. Please know I don't take such things
lightly, and my intention is to protect your heart."
That last paragraph is loaded down with graduate-level chick
whispering.
First of all, there is no ambiguity. You are a man who knows what
he wants. Yet, you are neither begging, pleading nor expecting
failure. Rather, you are expecting positive reciprocation, short
of running an "assumptive close" on her.
And most importantly, you inspire confidence and demonstrate a
desire to offer her security--even as you somehow convey that life
is about to become a shared adventure between you. Not bad, right?
Remember, the example I've given is meant to be purely
demonstrative. Please choose your own words when the time comes.
You get my drift.
Incidentally, in case you're wondering, YES...what we're talking
about here applies EQUALLY when meeting a woman for the first time.
You may hear about the idea of "building compliance" in the
Seduction Community. I would contend that "compliance" is NOT what
you want from a woman.
Seriously, how secure is she going to feel if she's merely GIVING
IN to you? And how fulfilling is that going to be for either of
you?
Similarly, there's a lot of talk about "establishing rapport".
Sure, it's nice to find common ground with a woman. That's a great
foundation for a good SAFE friendship.
But the higher standard here is to inspire a woman to WANT your
leadership.
If you can make her feel secure in her presence while being
assertive in a way that shows you have her best interests at heart,
a woman will do ANYTHING for you.
Read that last line again.
Obviously, I've got MUCH more on that concept coming up soon in
my upcoming program Female Persuasion.
Remember, you can be her protector or you can be "harmless". The
former ignites femininity, the latter lands in a place WORSE than
the dreaded "Just Be Friends" Zone. The choice is yours.
When you get right down to it, what we're talking about here is the
ability to take the "Big Four" and PRACTICALLY APPLY them at the
highest level.
If you can do that, you become a man who wields immense POWER and
INFLUENCE. Neither "coercion" nor "passivity" holds any place in
the realm of power and influence, does it?
A powerful, influential man is not a "controlling jerk", but he's
not "Mr. Safe" either.
"Power", of course, is a measure of your personal effectiveness.
"Influence" implies the ability to inspire others to follow your
lead.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2014. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.