[X&Y] Why You Might Not Be The "Jerk" She Says You Are
Published: Wed, 10/15/14
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IN THIS EDITION: When a woman calls you a "jerk", should you
always take it at face value?=====
I'M STILL GETTING AMAZING REPORTS OF HOW WELL THIS STUFF WORKS...
I first told you about this about a while back, and a TON of you
guys were all over it...in no small part because everything elsethis guy has ever done has been really super effective:
Apparently, this latest program from him is no exception. In
fact, it's become his most popular one ever.
I keep hearing from guys about how they're getting seriously good
results with women from it, so I wanted to make sure that if you
didn't check it out before you got another chance to:
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WHY YOU MIGHT NOT BE THE "JERK" SHE SAYS YOU ARE
I've never been one to buy into the conventional wisdom that says
"women love jerks".
Generally speaking, I strongly believe that only women with
terrible self-esteem and practically zero self-respect would ever
actually seek out men who treat them poorly and get into
relationships with them.
But maybe it's time for me to admit something. There really is ONE
very specific situation where I have to agree that women tend to
LOVE jerks--or should I say ONE jerk in particular.
Who is this guy? Well, he's the one who just dumped his girlfriend
against her wishes, that's who.
Maybe you're one of those guys who always tends to hang on until
the bitter end, and therefore are pretty much used to being the one
who's dumped. As such, maybe YOU'RE the one used to being in
love with a woman who you now think is a stark, raving be-otch.
After all, what I'm talking about here applies to men and women
with equal predictability.
And hey...if you can relate, keep reading these newsletters and get
your hand on The Leading Man as soon as you possibly can.
But on the other hand, if you've ever broken up with a woman who
was crazy about you, you just might know what it's like to be on
the receiving end of things...and it's NOT pretty.
Granted, there are indeed some "shrinking violets" out there who'll
quietly accept the end of a relationship for what it is.
Let's not kid ourselves, however. If THAT'S the case you've got to
think she couldn't have been too bent out of shape over it. She
might even be in agreement that it's all for the best, to be honest.
Try telling that to any woman who is of the firmly held belief that
you are her future husband, though. You'll soon witness a
breathtaking display of the grieving process in its classic
sequence.
That first hit of "denial" is going to come in the form of her
trying to talk you into patching things up with her. She might
underplay whatever crazy stuff caused the breakup to begin with
and/or promise to "change".
Don't be surprised if she calls you the next day after the breakup
as if nothing ever happened. She might even invite herself over to
your place for a little "adult time".
If I were you, I wouldn't fall for that. If you broke up with her,
it was likely for a perfectly good reason.
So stick to your guns.
Here's the thing, though. Very shortly after that you should fully
expect to feel the wrath of HER guns...which will be BLAZING in full
force.
Now hopefully we're speaking figuratively here.
But nevertheless, man...is she ever going to HATE the very sound of
your name.
And even if she's typically a total sweetheart, she'll likely light
you up with every other name in the book BESIDES what's on your
birth certificate--especially making sure to inform you in no
uncertain terms of how big a JERK you are.
Rest assured you're not really a jerk, dude.
It's all happening due to that all-too-predictable second stage of
grief. That's "anger", of course--the part where she feels free to
give YOU grief.
You've got to look at this rationally, even if she refuses to.
She's pissed off that the breakup happened, and the only person to
unload her vitriol on is YOU, Bubba.
It only makes sense.
But remember, even SHE doesn't actually think you're a jerk. She
actually still adores you and thinks you're great. She LOVES you.
It's starting to become crystal clear to her, though, that you're
NOT coming back.
Therefore, in her mind she NEEDS you to be a "jerk". If she can
talk herself into believing that, then maybe she can start getting
over you.
Or maybe it's a lot more simplistic. She feels HURT, and YOU hurt
her...therefore she can only blame you for the pain. And hey, jerks
tend to cause pain, right?
Again, relax. I'm sure you didn't MEAN to hurt her. You made the
best decision given the circumstances, thereby avoiding A LOT MORE
pain later. So no, you're STILL not a "jerk", even if she fails
to see that for now.
I trust that this brief refresher in human psychology will empower
you to keep a level head and not respond in kind the next time a
besmirched lover takes her grief out on you.
But I also trust that you won't let her guilt-trip you into getting
back together with her, either.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. On a similar but related note, don't EVER be surprised if
a woman calls you a "jerk" when she's shown unrequited interest
in you.
Again, you're NOT a bad guy. You simply weren't into her, and
that's okay.
Oh, and for the love of all that's good in the universe, please
don't EVER mistake that for "rejection".
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