[X&Y] There Might Be More To That "Just Be Friends" Talk Than You Think
Published: Fri, 03/27/15
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WHAT'S INSIDE: Not All "JBF" talks are created equal. Here's how
to tell what she's really saying...
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"GOT ANYTHING ON SOCIAL CIRCLE STUFF AND GETTING AHEAD
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career that better serves their life purpose.
Doing all of this, of course, makes you into a more attractive
man.
More attractive = More women in your life.
So where is all of my VERY BEST on these crucial topics?
It's all in latest program The Big 4 Man Challenge, of course.
You'll get an epic, fluff-free session on social circle and getting
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this audio (with full transcript) could stand alone as a separate
program.
But I didn't stop there, of course.
The B4MC is also where I reveal the now famous "Projection
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In fact, you get over two hours of fresh, 2015 online dating
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THERE MIGHT BE MORE TO THAT "JUST BE FRIENDS" TALK THAN
YOU THINK
I fully realize that how to avoid the dreaded "Just Be Friends
Zone" is a topic that's frequently discussed. As I mentioned
above, it's even covered in The Big 4 Man Challenge.
But right now I'm going to share with you a realization that
came to me during a recent Ten-Plus coaching call:
Not All "JBF" Talks Are Created Equal.
What's more, you've GOT to be able to tell the difference between
the two different varieties they tend to come in.
This is not necessarily so you can GET OUT of the "JBF Zone" once
you're in it. That's a very, very tough spot to be in once the
proverbial damage is done.
Rather, it's so you can--once and for all--figure out HOW and WHY
women are exiling you there to begin with. That way, you can
better avoid landing there in the future.
Better yet, you'll have more control over your dating life, almost
overnight.
You see, most guys who hear the "JBF Talk" tend to hear it
repeatedly. It tends to be a recurring sticking point.
That's due to the simple truth that almost every single time a
woman lowers the dreaded "JBF" boom, it's because there's no
attraction felt by her towards the guy she's delivering the awkward
news to.
Ironically, some of us fail to recognize that women are attracted
to masculinity, even as we FULLY recognize that it's a woman's
femininity that makes her sexually attractive to us.
Masculinity + Femininity = Sexual Polarity
Without sexual polarity, there's no such thing as "attraction".
Therefore, when we position ourselves as "neuter" human beings, we
mess up the equation.
So then, if almost ALL "JBF Talks" happen for the same central
reason, how are there TWO types of them?
Ah, yes... That's a terrific question.
And I truly believe that you've likely never heard what I'm about
to tell you before because it often requires an eye for subtlety to
detect the difference between the two.
Here's the deal.
Make no mistake, the WORDS THEMSELVES that a woman might use will
be similar, no matter what.
"I think we should just be friends."
"I'm just not feeling it."
"I don't want to ruin our friendship."
And let us not forget this classic (although we'd most
definitely like to):
"You're more like a brother to me."
What you've got to discern is her EMOTIONAL STATE when she's
telling you these sorts of things.
Is she sort of sullen or tentative, as if she almost feels SORRY
for you? Do you feel a bit patronized, as if she has the "upper
hand" on you?
And what about YOUR emotional state? Do you feel helpless, if not
hopeless?
As a direct result of that, have you suddenly gone from being
practically in love with her to resenting her or even almost hating
her in one fell swoop?
If so, you're experiencing a "Type 1 JBF Talk", defined as follows:
She doesn't feel attraction for you and NEVER DID, even though she
tried to talk herself into it.
Meanwhile, a "Type 2 JBF Talk" is different. You sense that
somehow SHE is the one feeling resentment. There's a certain
frustration in her voice as she's speaking.
And YOU'RE the one who, oddly, begins to feel "sorry". Maybe you
don't feel sorry for HER, exactly, but you feel sorry that the
scenario is unfolding as it is.
In this case, it's not so much that you feel helpless, per se, but
rather that you know you blew it and wish you could get a "do over".
That's because a "Type 2 JBF Talk" signals the hard truth that she
at one time DID feel attraction for you, but either she lost it or
you squandered it by royally messing up somehow.
Importantly, women almost always WANT attraction to happen when
they go on a date with us.
While a "Type 1 JBF Talk" might often happen when no real "dating"
has actually occurred, a "Type 2 JBF Talk" is more typical after
at least a first date has happened.
So if you've been hearing your share of "JBF talks" lately, ask
yourself which type they are.
If they're "Type 1" your task at hand is to do a better job of
reflecting masculinity as women define it. This may be something
you'll need to work on in general, not just when around attractive
women.
But if you're sensing that "Type 2" is what you're encountering,
then you've probably got a good handle on how to BE masculine
already.
The challenge for you then becomes to KEEP DOING what you did at
the beginning to attract a woman.
Don't change your pace or your demeanor as you start liking a woman
more. This can often happen due to a sense of panic over
potentially losing her.
Therefore, you start "chasing" more than "choosing".
Can you see how knowing the difference between the two types of
"JBF Talks" can dramatically increase your power to avoid them to
begin with?
Attract women, keep them attracted, and thereby stand as a man who
is in control of his relationships with women. That way, if any
"JBF Talks" prove necessary, it'll be YOU who's giving them.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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