[X&Y] Passion (And Why Women Say They "Love Football")

Published: Mon, 02/05/18

Being passionate is a good thing...as long as you're aiming it in the right direction.

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IN THIS EDITION:  Being passionate is a good thing...as long as
you're aiming it in the right direction.

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IF YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT SHE'S THINKING, SHE'S PROBABLY
THINKING "MAYBE NOT".


Not long ago we hosted a dinner party.  One of Emily's attractive and
single friends was there.

She told us she needed to leave by 10pm because she had a first date
with a guy planned.

And let me tell you, she was EXCITED.  She went on and on about
what a great a time she anticipated having with him.

Fast forward to a few days later, when we saw her again at another
social gathering. 

I asked her how her date went.  She simply said, "It didn't." 

Surprised as I was, I invited her to elaborate.

"Well...he started sending me scary [read: "overtly sexual"] text
messages right before we were supposed to meet, so I didn't even
bother to show up.  I'm soooo disappointed."

Let that sink in for a minute.

Here we had a guy who had not only successfully set up a first
meeting with a great woman, she was clearly excited about it.

Then in one fell swoop, he wrecked it.

And make no mistake...he indeed messed everything up for himself.

He had talked her out of going out with him.

Women do not think like we do.  And if you have no idea what she's
thinking, she's probably thinking, "Maybe not."

This very real story just serves to underscore why every bit of what
I share in Chick Whispering about how to understand women is so
crucial:



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as illustrated above.

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GET THIS RIGHT AND WIN...GET IT WRONG AND GO DATELESS


Have you ever heard that "passion" is attractive to women?

Of course you have. 

And if you've ever been described as "passionate", it means that
someone noticed that you "have, are compelled by, or are ruled by
intense emotion or strong feeling" according to dictionary.com.

So much for the myth that "women are emotional and men are
logical", right?

Abso-freakin-lutely.  As it turns out, women really are charged
up--even sexually, of course--by a man who's passionate.  That
goes without saying.

There's only one caveat.  And man...I'm starting to figure out that
this little catch ruins more guys' chances with women than I ever
realized.

Your passion MUST be directed properly.

Consider for a moment that you invite some friends over for the big
game.  You're all fans of the same team.

When your side scores, you all cheer and high-five each other
jubilantly.  That's because you're passionate about your beloved
team (or want the other one to lose with equal passion). 

And such positive expression of passion is fun and exciting to
women.  Remember, it leads them into a state of fun and joy, which
they're ALL about.

You've may have noticed that when women say they're "into watching
sports", what they're really saying is they like when people gather
to watch sports.  They're there for the party, and they like getting the
chance to cheer and rejoice.

Maybe you saw this phenomenon in action last night if you live in the
US and went to a Super Bowl party.  There were probably plenty of
women there looking and feeling all "festive" and what not.

But you'll find very, very few women lounging on the couch alone on
Sunday afternoons watching regular-season NFL games.

That's also why women tend to be "bandwagon" fans, much to the
chagrin of the male mind.  They're more about cheering and having
fun than that idea of "fan loyalty even to the bitter end" that we as
men respect and revere so much. 

After all, the team that wins all the time these days is, well, more fun
isn't it?

So much for my tangent on women and sports.  The point is that when
you lead women into feeling more female, you've ignited femininity.
 
And that's a KEY component of  "masculinity as women define it"
which, as I always say, is so critically important to creating attraction.

Enthusiastic passion does that.

There are even more powerful examples than rooting for a sports
team, of course.

Have you ever noticed that men who are enthusiastic about their
life purpose--or even what they're doing in the moment--almost always
seem to attract women effortlessly?

I was always a huge fan of Steve Irwin.  The dude was always such a
badass at what he did.  This was in no small part because he loved
it so much that he was literally immersed in it...blissfully.

And when you watched him on TV you couldn't help but be drawn into
believing that whatever he was doing or whatever lizard up in the
tree that he was looking at was every bit as cool as he thought it
was.

Enthusiasm really is contagious.  And women LOVE to hitch their
wagon to a man who's going somewhere he's convinced is going to
be incredible.

I mean, Steve Irwin's wife absolutely glowed with adoration for
him.  Heck, so did his little daughter, for that matter.

Here's the thing:  ENTHUSIASM is joined at the hip to WINNING,
isn't it?   Where there's POSITIVE passion, there's VICTORY.

That's just the way it is.

And women want a winner.  Winners protect and provide.

As I've said before, probably the greatest insult you can hurl at
another man is to call him a "loser".

That's why for the life of me I can't understand why some guys--
including many who might be reading this very message--are so
passionate about losing.

Besides the simple truth that losing sucks, it's also flatly
unattractive to women. 

So then, if being passionate about winning is "enthusiasm", what's
the opposite? 

The term I'm going to reach for there is "frustration".

Frustration, when you get right down to it, means "being
passionate about failure".

So put the pieces together here and you'll easily see that if
losing is unattractive to women, wallowing in frustration must
literally be "chick repellent".

When your team loses, you're frustrated.  That's an obvious
reference to draw here, given the sports example above. 

Hey, that's temporary.  So it's to be expected and is largely
innocuous in the moment insofar as your attractiveness to women
is concerned...as long as you maintain some semblance of
personal control, at least.

But see, all of this transcends watching sports, of course.  And
that's precisely where the big, heinous problems start.

Whenever a guy feels powerless to succeed he tends to get
frustrated.  Sometimes the simple fear of loss sends us into a
vortex of frustration...even in mere anticipation of losing.

So yes, once again it comes down to this:  when you feel powerless
in the presence of women, they can sense any frustration that's
simmering in your being. 

As a direct result they avoid you like a supermodel avoids
breakfast buffets, of course.

And now, for your reading pleasure I'm going to drop one of my
patented "bombs" on this whole scenario.

Know this:  You've very likely gotten into a habitual pattern of
representing either one brand of passion or the other almost all
the time in your life.

You got it.  You're probably either an enthusiastic man overall
or a frustrated one.

And whichever path you've chosen, evidence of it emanates from
every pore of your being even as you live your daily life.

I've actually seen fascinating examples of what I'm talking about
here in action. If you'd like to see some yourself, try browsing
the online profiles of other guys sometimes.

After all, the task at hand is to write about "Who I Am And Who I'm
Looking For", right?  Naturally then, online profiles often serve
as blatant advertisements for either enthusiasm or frustration.

True to form, some are brimming with positive, descriptive language
and a sense of humor.

Others not so much.

One of the most breathtaking things I ever read was the online
profile of a guy who started out saying pretty normal things at the
beginning.  You could see he was making an effort to "play nice".

But as I read onward you could literally feel his sustained, lifelong
frustration with women rising to the surface.

It was starting to spool up inside of him as his fingers clicked
away on his keyboard, just like when a jet fires up its engines on
the tarmac.

By the time I got to the end, what the guy had written could have
made the Unabomber jealous.

It was THAT negative and THAT creepy.  He just let women have it
for "pre-rejecting" him.

My edumckayted guess is that he ended up being one of those
guys who never even gets one response to their e-mails.

Last I checked there weren't any "niche dating sites" catering to
people so frustrated with MOTOS (members of the other sex) that
they wanted to tie them all up in a bag and throw them in the lake.

And why should there be?  Why would anyone be attracted to
frustration?  What's in it for them?  What's there about frustration
to be enthusiastic about?

The answer is nothing...by definition.  That brings us full circle.

What direction is your passion aimed in?

Enthusiasm or frustration?

Only you can answer that, and only you can do something about
it if necessary.


Be Good,

Scot McKay




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