[X&Y] Are You Getting Used By Women? (Reader Question)

Published: Fri, 08/07/20

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WHAT'S INSIDE:  You're about to hear from a guy who feels like
he totally messed everything up with a woman...so how can he get
her to "come begging" to be back in his life?

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LETTER FROM A READER

 
Hi Scot,


Thanks for your newsletters.  I have learnt a lot.  In fact, I wish
I got them earlier.

I have this lady that worked into my life, albeit briefly as it turns
out.

She is quite attractive in her own way and highly orgasmic.
 
She visited me and we spent 2 great weeks together in London.

I tried to be nice and willing to offer her anything I could afford
just to make her happy. (I guess my mistake.)

Because of my desire to have and keep her I became needy,
clingy and wussy.

Despite all the nice things I did (paid her air ticket, took her
around London, had dinners, etc.) when she got back home she
called me to tell me that she wasn't sure if it's me she wants.

How do I win her back?  How do I make her come begging?


Thanks from London




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Hey man, glad you are enjoying the newsletters.  We got here as
quickly as we could for you.

But now down to business.

Granted, you've already figured out that you did all sorts of needy
things to drive her away.

Given how much we tend to harp about the grave dangers of all that
in these newsletters, I'll spare you the tirade.

But then again, maybe everyone involved here would be better
off if I didn't spare you completely, after all.

When we try to buy a woman's affection it seems utterly obvious to
her that we lack the confidence to believe that who we are as a
"big four" man is enough.

And as soon as you go down that trail, if anything attractive goes on
it basically has little, if anything to do with you. 

You're just the "vehicle". 

That never ends well, unless you particularly enjoy opening up your
wallet and shaking all of your cash out the window.

But here's a point you may not be expecting from me.

And that's this:  I've got to take issue with your choice of words.
 
I can by no means understand the prospect of this woman returning
to you as "winning" her back.

In fact, based on what you've shared I'd call such an outcome a
catastrophic loss of epic proportions.

Let's take a quick inventory here.

This chick came to stay with you and gladly took everything you
had to offer (including the shirt off your back, basically) for two
full weeks.


It's not like she went out on a two-hour first date with you.  She
freeloaded for half a friggin' month.

And THEN she had the nerve to announce to you when she's safe
and cozy back at home that she doesn't want you after all?

(By the way, you can ignore the "wasn't sure if" part in her
statement to you.)

So here it is:  Why on God's green earth are YOU still interested?

I mean, come on, man.  How much more do you really want to be
used?

What she is doing is pure manipulation in its lowest form.

Think in terms of "The Golden Rule - Reversed" here.  Would you
ever in a million years treat someone the way she has treated you?

If the answer is "no freakin' way", then don't accept being treated
in such a manner by someone else.

I'm sure this female friend of yours is really cute in addition
to being orgasmic.  I'm equally sure she's figured out that she
can get away with having zero character and still get whatever
she wants from most men.

So you were simply next in line.

Let me tell you, manipulators--by definition--are people who fully
know the difference between right and wrong, yet who proceed to do
wrong at the direct expense of those they instinctively know want
to do the right thing.

I ask you, how is that NOT pure evil personified?

I know you've raised the bar on your definition of "high quality
woman" somewhere above the "pure evil" mark.  Right?

But to be honest, I gather from your message that you already
sense that you don't really want her back anyway. 

What you really want is the last word.

You want the satisfaction of knowing that SHE knows she blew it
with a great guy like you.

Well, until you drop that mindset for something more productive
you'll only eat yourself from the inside...all the while demonstrating
to the whole world that you're a chaser who likely has zero options
when it comes to other women.

That's the only conclusion that can be drawn from your willingness
to burn so much energy on a woman who is long gone...for better
OR worse.

Now, you don't want to be THAT guy, right? 

Besides man, it's so unattractive when people beg.

And on top of all else, as pathetic as begging is, it hardly ever
works anyway so it'd be a waste of everyone's time.

Now go find a woman more worthy of your orgasm-bestowing talents,
and be sure to date several women at once on the journey to meeting
her.

And whatever you do, please stop trying so hard to buy women off
with stuff and start letting your masculine "big four" charm carry
you. 

Remember, it's YOU she's got to be attracted to...not a bunch of
goodies and a bottomless bank account.

Ironically enough, when you conduct yourself with women as if you
don't have that figured out, the compensation (in every sense of
the word) for what you feel is lacking in personal depth isn't only
obvious like I mentioned above, it sort of comes off as begging.

And as you'll recall, we already concluded that's just ugly.

There's a reason why someone smart once said, "beggars can't be
choosers". 

 



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