[X&Y] 8 "Innocent Lies" Women Tell
Published: Sat, 07/11/20
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WHAT'S INSIDE: How can you tell for sure when a woman is blowing
smoke at you? Here are eight ways to get a handle on the situationevery time...
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WAKE UP...BEFORE THE NIGHTMARE EVEN STARTS
A shocking number of guys go a LONG time without having a
decent woman in their lives.
In fact, many never have ANY women to spend time with at all,
let alone a "decent" one.
So it's no wonder so many guys wind up marrying the first girl
who shows interest in them, as long as she can fog a mirror
and shaves her armpits occasionally.
Believe me, you do NOT want to be that guy.
Otherwise, you might find yourself using the excuse, "Hey...plenty
of people have nobody, so at least I'm not one of THEM anymore."
But then the "red flags" you saw right from the very start (but
ignored) turn into full blown, raging wildfires.
She goes from being a little moody sometimes to being constantly
angry and unreasonable.
"A few extra pounds" as advertised on her online dating profile
balloons into over 100 of them.
Or worse...her annoying habit of "staying in touch with guy friends"
on Facebook turns into a torrid weekend tryst with an ex-boyfriend...
...behind your back, of course.
Yet, she somehow finds a way to twist everything into being YOUR
fault, making your life even MORE miserable.
Basically, I'm describing your WORST nightmare, right?
Look, finding yourself in such a painful and humiliating
relationship is NOT a foregone conclusion.
Despite the high divorce rate--and even HIGHER rate of overall
dissatisfaction in relationships--you really, truly CAN meet the
right woman and build an amazing, fulfilling life together with her.
Knowing that first-hand, I have to tell you...there's nothing more
important in this life than choosing the right woman and running
your relationship with her like a real man should.
Unfortunately, that's turning into a lost art.
Well, not if I can help it.
Sure, the legion of "men going their own way" (aka #MGTOW)
is growing daily. But I have yet to happen across ANY who are
genuinely happy men.
That's why Get Together, Stay Together is quite possibly my
most mission-critical program:
We all want a great woman to come home to. What we DON'T want is
to land in divorce court, paying a BIG price for an even BIGGER
mistake of being with the wrong woman.
The only thing worse than that would be to somehow stumble into a
relationship with a truly beautiful, virtuous high quality woman...only
to screw things up ourselves because we just weren't properly
equipped to build a solid relationship with her.
Ouch.
Just to make sure you're best equipped for long-term success, I've
also included a free copy of my classic program The Leading Man
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That's a $97 value by itself, and it's stacked with all the knowledge
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The combo of Get Together, Stay Together and The Leading
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Want to find a woman you can build a real legacy with? Remember...
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You've just GOT to get this right...from start to finish. And I've
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You just won't get many chances like this to take care of something
so important for far less than what you might spend on just one bad
date with the wrong woman.
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8 "INNOCENT LIES" WOMEN TELL
I'm not sure exactly. Maybe it was the seven years I spent working
with gang kids.
Or perhaps I've been conditioned by those eleven years' worth of
high-pressure dealings with telecom companies.
More likely, it was that last five years of dating before I met Emily
that got me to this point.
But there's no denying it. I have a smoke detector that would
make Judge Judy jealous.
No doubt, I make it a point to look for the best in people, and I
believe I do my part in bringing it out in them. As an adopted
Texan a handshake means something to me.
But I'll tell you what, there's wisdom in training ourselves to
recognize when someone's trying to deceive us, and courage in
having the self-esteem to accept that we're being flim-flammed
and call it out.
For some unknown reason, such trickery is particularly prevalent in
the dating world. Here are eight examples of the many ways men
AND women try to dupe each other into accepting ridiculous
circumstances:
1) "Get in touch with me and we'll make plans."
This is said as a response to interest expressed by someone else.
At best, a woman who replies with this is on the fence about
whether or not to go out with you. In other words, you're being
"breadcrumbed".
At worst, she has already made the decision but isn't really
interested in hearing you beg her to change her mind. The "easy
way out" is just to leave you hanging.
Either way, don't count on anything interesting happening. If this
were a promising situation, you would be hearing more details.
2) "Call me on that day and we'll set a time for the date."
Translation: "Yeah, well...I think I need some extra time to work
out the details of how I'm going to end up ghosting you."
You're better off saving her the trouble of having to manufacture
some sudden "family emergency" excuse for you.
3) "Oh, him? He's just a friend."
Let's assume for a moment, hopefully correctly, that you are not a
pathologically jealous loser.
Fair enough?
Okay, then...if you had to ask her about her clearly cozy
relationship with some other heterosexual guy, her "friend" ISN'T
JUST A FRIEND.
And if the woman of your affection DOES operate with her "friends"
in a manner that fuels speculation otherwise, why put yourself
through being concerned about it?
Find someone with integrity, which of course segues nicely into
the next bullet point...
4) "I think we should just be friends."
Yeah, well...if you agree to this don't plan on being the kind
of "friend" referred to in the point above.
Long utilized as a de facto standard by disinterested people
everywhere, this signals that all attraction is now lost--if there
ever even was any to begin with.
Sometimes a woman really, truly does want to remain friends with
you despite an utter lack of romant-o-sexualtm chemistry.
But such a mindset requires immense integrity on the part of
someone who has true character. Knowing how rare that is, rest
assured this line is typically employed as an allegedly "nice"
way to actually end things altogether.
Ultimately, she just doesn't want to hurt your feelings and/or
deal with your emotional reaction to the true reason she's no
longer interested (or wasn't to begin with).
5) "I'm not ready for a relationship."
Followed mentally by, "...at least not until someone comes along who
is more in line with who I am looking for than you are."
Argue with me if you must on this one. I've known people who were
just "hurt real bad" by someone, "super focused on work" and/or
"getting in touch with 'self' right now" to meet someone who really
rocks their world right in the midst of whatever they were allegedly
dealing with.
Then all of this crazy talk about "not being ready" goes out the
window. It happens ALL THE TIME.
Deep down, unless we are in a coma we all are ready to "relate" to
someone, as long as it's the right someone.
6) "Maybe..."
...But most likely maybe NOT. Women who are interested don't use
this word with you unless they are major game players.
Find someone else to spend your valuable energy on.
7) "I've been really busy."
This is simply a code phrase for "you are not a priority".
You and I both know it's basic human nature to move mountains
in order to create huge blocks of time out of the "busiest" of
schedules when we meet someone we are truly crazy about.
Don't shout me down for telling the truth.
8) "I have to be home early and/or get up early tomorrow."
Ah, yes...the trickiest one of all.
Sometimes this one really is true.
What a bummer to have to play this card at face value. After all,
most of the time this is what falls out of the mouth of someone who
wants to bail out of a date with immediate urgency.
So how can you tell the difference?
Simple. If it comes out of left field and without any elaboration,
there's a 100% chance she wants out...now.
On the other hand, if you are told ahead of time about it you can
put some stock in the statement, especially if she bends the rules
some when the pre-determined hour arrives and chooses to stay
out a bit later.
Meanwhile, if and when a woman legitimately has to get home early
for an unexpected reason you are likely to be bombarded with
heartfelt apologies and proactive suggestions about when and
where she'll see you again.
I know that you've likely heard some of these examples before. In
fact, I'm willing to bet you've even uttered some of them yourself.
Either way, it all comes down to something other than a desire to
be blatantly deceitful. Rarely is anyone who says these things
coming from a position of evil intent. In fact, quite the
opposite--they're trying to avoid potential pain and conflict.
As such, I believe all of this "smoke blowing" is rooted in nothing
other than sheer cowardice. People just don't have the guts to
tell others the truth.
Either that, or they don't have the guts to HEAR the truth.
So they lie.
My stand on the matter is that we're all adults around here and
tactful positioning of the truth is always more productive for
everyone involved in the dating world than laying false hope on
someone.
Never mind that whoever is subject to such mental gymnastics would
have to be naïve and/or flat-out obsessed to believe any of it.
That's beside the point.
Yet, many of us are serving up more "whoppers" than Burger King
when it comes to dealing with people who are interested in us.
Stop that. Be honest with people.
And be honest with YOURSELF when you are hearing any of the lines
above. What we often consider "tried and true" lines to feed one
another are actually "TIRED and FALSE". Deserve what you want.
Oh, and by the way "I can't get pregnant...don't worry" is NOT to
be classified as an "innocent lie". Neither is, "Oh, my divorce
is going to be final really, really soon." Words to the wise.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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