[X&Y] How To Get A 2nd Chance At Getting Her Number [Field Report]
Published: Sun, 08/16/20
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IN THIS EDITION: Have you ever kicked yourself for not getting a
woman's number? Here's how to get a "mulligan".=====
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HOW TO GET A SECOND CHANCE AT GETTING HER NUMBER
[FIELD REPORT]
[FIELD REPORT]
Not long ago I did a Ten-Plus Live with a guy we'll call James
who, like most guys I meet, had lots going for him. All he needed,
really, was to be empowered to meet women, get numbers and move
relationships with them forward.
Even though guys have flown from as far away as Asia to do
Ten-Plus Live weekends with me, this guy was from right here in San
Antonio.
On one hand, that was super convenient for him.
But on the other hand, it meant that meeting women over the course
of the weekend might very well lead to something real. It wouldn't
necessarily serve as simple "practice". The stakes were higher.
So with all of that in mind, on Saturday afternoon we did the
obvious. We went directly to a particularly upscale shopping area
that was literally about a five-minute drive from where he lived.
Where better to meet women who are likely to live in his own zip
code, right?
Things started working well right off the bat, as they typically
tend to.
Just to demo what's possible, I started things off by approaching a
very cute young woman of about 23 who was having lunch with a
friend.
"Okay, I have to ask...how did you get your teeth so white? Did you
have to bribe your dentist to get VIP treatment, or something?"
She covered her mouth and started giggling...as did her friend. "Do
you really think so? Actually, I drink coffee and red wine all the
time, so I really have no idea."
I reminded her that having white teeth is a good thing, so she
probably didn't need to cover her mouth. The next thing you know
she's touching me on the elbow and talking away.
I excused myself and returned to James before she got any ideas.
After all, I'm a happily married guy so I had no intentions.
As I've always said, talking to ANY woman is just a conversation,
until YOU decide you want to take things further by showing
interest and following up.
The next stop was at a department store. Imagine a 23-year-old
Salma Hayek, only more slender. I hope you have a good
imagination because if so, it will reward you.
Our hero took her right out of "work mode" and led her into being
playful. Perfect.
The next thing you know, she's laughing, touching him and telling
him how "funny" he is. She's asking James where he's from, etc.,
so there's clear interest there.
By the way, making women laugh is indeed powerful. But remember,
you don't really have to be a comedian. All it really takes is to help
her have FUN. FUN is enough to make women laugh. Very nice.
The time came to get Salma Hayak, Jr.'s number, and he did
an admirable job for a guy who hadn't put himself in this good a
position to do so in ages.
Still, the girl clearly wasn't the type to give her number away to
guys she'd just met. She asked for his instead.
Once James and I reconvened I let him in on an observation. When
that sort of thing happens, it's almost always because her comfort
level isn't quite where it should be yet.
It's often effective to simply tell her everything will be alright, and
it's okay if she gives him her number.
Women tend to follow a man's confident leadership.
The day was still young.
A bit later we happened into another shop. Working there was a
truly adorable girl next door type who pulled off the sexy
"librarian" look with perfection, complete with the right glasses.
Now visibly more confident than ever, James started a conversation
with her. The woman's personality turned out to be what you would
have hoped for from someone like her. She was precious.
James and I had agreed that when I sensed a woman he was talking
to was interested, I'd casually remove myself from the situation for a
bit.
Besides, we'd gone over exactly how to get a woman's number
ahead of time: Suggest to her the conversation should continue
later, and tell her she should give him her number.
So I went outside. The last thing James needed was me looking over
his shoulder at crunch time.
A few minutes later, he exited the shop.
"So...what's her number?"
"I...um...don't have it."
"Oh no. What in the world happened?"
"I just...didn't get her number. It didn't happen"
I paused for a second. There was no sense in browbeating him over
this.
"James, consider the worst thing that can happen here. We already
know she's a sweetheart, so she's not going to insult you and kick
you in the crotch. Maybe she'll refuse to give you her number.
But will that really hurt worse than NEVER knowing for sure what
could have happened...all because you did nothing?"
He knew the answer to the question. Settling for the status quo
was the biggest potential bummer.
I added, "...And how much better are you going to feel when she
DOES give you her number? My educated guess is it'll be a
lot better than SHE feels right now, wondering why you never asked
her for it."
"You're right. But I've already left the store. How do I get her
number now?"
The best solution in cases like this is to spell out to her what's
going on, without pretense or cover-up.
"Try this. Return to the store, find her, tell her you really did
enjoy talking to her, and she should give you her number so
you can talk later when she's not working."
The dude went back in the store without so much as a hiccup.
Awesome.
Less than a minute later he was back.
"Man, that's got to be a world speed record."
"Not so fast", James said, "She wasn't there. I can't believe
it. She's already gone to lunch."
It hadn't been five minutes since he was talking to her, yet the
opportunity had seemed to have vaporized into thin air.
Ridiculous.
Now see, if 90% of all guys wouldn't ever have approached this girl
at all, let alone ask for her number, then you've GOT to believe
at least 99.9% would throw up their hands and give up by this
stage.
That wasn't going to happen on my watch. It was time to reach for
what it takes to be in that top .01%.
I quickly went over the plan with James, and then it was time to
execute.
Going back into the store a third time, James found the woman's
co-worker, who had seen everything transpire.
In a friendly but direct manner, James said the following to her:
"You know, [name] and I were having a great conversation, and I've
decided we should talk more later. I realize she's at lunch, so
I'm going to leave a note. I'm counting on you to make sure she
gets it, deal?"
The co-worker said she'd be glad to help.
Now fully in "wingman" mode, I casually added, "I think the two of
them kind of looked cute together, what do you think?"
"Agreed", the co-worker said with a smile.
We already knew from earlier conversation that the two women
worked with each other all the time, so we could now determine with
reasonable certainty that lunch-break chick must indeed be single.
Outstanding.
The note James wrote read, "I returned to find you because I
enjoyed meeting you and we should talk again." It was signed with
his first name and phone number. He was sure to write very clearly
instead of scribbling.
As we left the store I simply said, "Now, no matter what happens
you've at the very least got the satisfaction of knowing you did
everything in your power."
About five hours later we had picked up Emily and were enjoying a
nice dinner downtown.
James' phone buzzed.
The message read: "Hi James, this is [name]. I'm still at work
but thought I'd drop you a quick text. :-)"
Mission accomplished. Long story short, within short order it was
clearly evident she was truly interested.
James met even more women that night, including a sexy brunette
who was having a "tough night" until he visibly brightened it for her.
Over 3am breakfast at IHOP, I realized the track record remained
intact. Another Ten-Plus Live had concluded, still without there
EVER having been a bona fide negative experience approaching
women for any guy who's done one.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. We don't do a whole lot of Ten-Plus Live weekends, but there
are a select few more openings coming up this fall as Texas opens
back up a bit.
If you've been considering doing a "bootcamp" in order to finally
become a man who approaches women and meets them at will, I
challenge you to instead consider the massive difference that live,
real-time 1-on-1 coaching could make:
Ten-Plus Live is a high-end experience that's not for everyone.
If interested, I'll need to get on the phone with you to make sure
it's a good fit and to share the details.
Write me at scot@deservewhatyouwant.com to arrange that call.
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