[X&Y] Proof Women Want You To Be Masculine
Published: Sat, 10/24/20
=====
IN THIS EDITION: If you don't speak in sexual innuendoes,
women aren't going to realize you're a sexual creature...right?
=====
EVERY MAN SHOULD KNOW HOW TO DO THIS
If you don't know how to do this one specific thing, then
you're missing out on one of the great thrills available to
you in this life.
Fortunately, the skill is an easy one to learn:
This Makes Women Happy...
Hey...it's true that I'm talking about how to represent
yourself as a sexual man in this newsletter.
But don't confuse how to attract them with the raw
culmination of sexual power in the bedroom:
...And It Makes You Happy Too
Oh, I should probably tell you that this is probably "not
safe for work".
=====
READER QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS
Scot:
I've read your latest e-book plus listened to a few of
your podcasts, and they are all great. You always invite
questions, which I think is also great, so I'm going to
take the opportunity to ask one.
You talk a lot about letting out the natural masculinity
in all of us. That's got me thinking about how I constantly
self-censor myself around women by giving a neutered
response to what's going on around me instead of my
natural inclination, which is to respond with sexual
innuendo (if the situation could safely call for it).
The reason I do this is because I don't want to come
off as offensive, or worse, a threat to women.
You also talk about the fact that women need to feel
that they are safe around the guys they are with.
My question is how do I imbue my responses with
sexual overtones (and thus convey my masculinity),
while at the same time not making myself seem
offensive or threatening to women?
In other words, how can I be unapologetically
masculine without seeming to be a threat?
Patrick
Edmonton, Alberta
=====
Hello Patrick:
A lot of guys deal with exactly what you're talking about, so I'm
glad you asked about it.
I'll begin my answer to your question with this. Imagine if all
the women of the world stopped being feminine because they
thought you'd be offended by it.
Instead, they wore Levi's jeans, white button-down shirts, got
generic haircuts and stopped wearing makeup, high heels and
jewelry.
They sat straight in their chairs with their hands folded and
talked about headline news and the weather.
Would they be doing the right thing? Would that make you
feel more "comfortable" with them?
Indeed, if sexual polarity ceased to exist altogether, would the
world be a more "date friendly" place?
The question is ridiculous to even ask, isn't it?
We've all got to remember that the ONLY reason masculinity
even MATTERS is because femininity exists as its polarity.
The very idea of being "unapologetically masculine", worded
as such, presumes that the very people masculinity is
designed to attract will somehow be repulsed by it.
The truth is there are two types of people in this world.
Those who are attracted to men, and those who aren't.
You aren't.
But it's a mistake to think that women are like you.
Women want men.
Ironically, the only "apology" you'd ever owe any woman
when it comes to all of this would be when you FAIL to
deliver on the outward appearance of being a man.
Further, masculinity as defined by women is NOT a
violent, offensive, destructive force. Masculinity is simply
the essence of maleness--that which ignites femininity.
Men who show strong leadership, demonstrate deft
decision-making power and who build well-formed (and
dare I say compassionate) plans to STOP violent, offensive
and destructive forces (which are but a perversion of
masculine power) are indeed masculine.
All of that said, I want to clarify something that's an
IMMENSELY important piece of the puzzle here...especially
as you've laid it out on the table.
Being masculine has NOTHING to do, at least directly and/or
definitively, with "imbueing responses with sexual overtones".
You need not turn the conversation toward sex in order
to turn a woman on any more than she necessarily needs
to do so in order to communicate her femininity to you.
And nor SHOULD you. Nothing would communicate more
strongly to a woman that you DON'T GET IT.
In other words, simply talking about sex--either directly or
indirectly--doesn't positively affect sexual attraction any more
than a car salesman telling you that you should buy a certain
car makes you want to actually BUY it any more than you did
before.
And that goes DOUBLE if the car salesman pushes the
issue too early and or too aggressively...coming off as if it's
all about him.
Everyone knows it's the CAR ITSELF that makes you want
to buy it. Once you WANT the car, nobody has to talk you
into it.
Sexual desire on a woman's part is NO DIFFERENT.
So when it comes to creating that DESIRE in women
effectively, you simply go about the business of coming off
as a masculine man rather than a neuter human being.
That is, you REPRESENT to women what WOMEN
WANT (and I gave you some solid examples above).
I promise that the sexual polarity that results will take
care of creating attraction all by itself.
The mistake men make here is to confuse SEX with
SEXUALITY.
And a woman's feminine sexuality MUST be drawn to
your masculine sexuality BEFORE any discussion of
"activities" that might come as a result of that can become
fair-game for discussion.
You must never, ever imply that sexual behavior is imminent
(either directly or by innuendo) until you know that she is
attracted (i.e. by your core masculine nature) and that she
knows you have her general best interest at heart (i.e. you
are genuinely interested in protecting her rather than using
her sexuality for personal gain).
In almost every single instance, it's putting the cart before
the horse that's offensive to women.
Basically, that causes you to come off like that desperate
car salesman who is all about making the sale whether she
really wants his slow-selling car or not.
So, even though women truly do want sheet-ripping sex as
much as we do as men (if not more so), they don't want to
be used as masturbation tools and nothing else.
This shouldn't be so much of a mystery to us because it's
actually not a gender-specific reaction at all. We as men
are really no different and the psycho-emotional level.
Think of it this way. Most men LOVE to be seen as an
effective provider for women, but only when we know she
appreciates EVERYTHING about us as men and is willing
to reciprocate fully with the wonderful benefits she brings
to us as a woman.
And what if we go out with a woman who clearly sees us
as nothing more than a human ATM machine? Well, we
resent that, of course...and only a man with horribly low
self-respect will continue to endure such a relationship.
So to summarize, being a masculine sexual presence
is anything BUT offensive or threatening to women.
On the other hand, indications that you may only be
interested in using women for sexual gratification ARE
both offensive AND threatening to them.
However, when we are "big four" men who also happen
to place a great value on high-quality femininity and deeply
understand the manifold gifts that a great woman brings
to the table, we have nothing to worry about.
Women who are "offended" under those circumstances
are the ones with the problem. And thankfully that's a
rare occurrence, especially when we're talking about
high-quality women.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. Did you download the new episode of The Mountain
Top Podcast yet?
The Mountain Top Podcast On iTunes
Please leave a review. Those really help our rankings, so
it's a great way to support the show if you like what you
hear.
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2020. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.
Scot:
I've read your latest e-book plus listened to a few of
your podcasts, and they are all great. You always invite
questions, which I think is also great, so I'm going to
take the opportunity to ask one.
You talk a lot about letting out the natural masculinity
in all of us. That's got me thinking about how I constantly
self-censor myself around women by giving a neutered
response to what's going on around me instead of my
natural inclination, which is to respond with sexual
innuendo (if the situation could safely call for it).
The reason I do this is because I don't want to come
off as offensive, or worse, a threat to women.
You also talk about the fact that women need to feel
that they are safe around the guys they are with.
My question is how do I imbue my responses with
sexual overtones (and thus convey my masculinity),
while at the same time not making myself seem
offensive or threatening to women?
In other words, how can I be unapologetically
masculine without seeming to be a threat?
Patrick
Edmonton, Alberta
=====
Hello Patrick:
A lot of guys deal with exactly what you're talking about, so I'm
glad you asked about it.
I'll begin my answer to your question with this. Imagine if all
the women of the world stopped being feminine because they
thought you'd be offended by it.
Instead, they wore Levi's jeans, white button-down shirts, got
generic haircuts and stopped wearing makeup, high heels and
jewelry.
They sat straight in their chairs with their hands folded and
talked about headline news and the weather.
Would they be doing the right thing? Would that make you
feel more "comfortable" with them?
Indeed, if sexual polarity ceased to exist altogether, would the
world be a more "date friendly" place?
The question is ridiculous to even ask, isn't it?
We've all got to remember that the ONLY reason masculinity
even MATTERS is because femininity exists as its polarity.
The very idea of being "unapologetically masculine", worded
as such, presumes that the very people masculinity is
designed to attract will somehow be repulsed by it.
The truth is there are two types of people in this world.
Those who are attracted to men, and those who aren't.
You aren't.
But it's a mistake to think that women are like you.
Women want men.
Ironically, the only "apology" you'd ever owe any woman
when it comes to all of this would be when you FAIL to
deliver on the outward appearance of being a man.
Further, masculinity as defined by women is NOT a
violent, offensive, destructive force. Masculinity is simply
the essence of maleness--that which ignites femininity.
Men who show strong leadership, demonstrate deft
decision-making power and who build well-formed (and
dare I say compassionate) plans to STOP violent, offensive
and destructive forces (which are but a perversion of
masculine power) are indeed masculine.
All of that said, I want to clarify something that's an
IMMENSELY important piece of the puzzle here...especially
as you've laid it out on the table.
Being masculine has NOTHING to do, at least directly and/or
definitively, with "imbueing responses with sexual overtones".
You need not turn the conversation toward sex in order
to turn a woman on any more than she necessarily needs
to do so in order to communicate her femininity to you.
And nor SHOULD you. Nothing would communicate more
strongly to a woman that you DON'T GET IT.
In other words, simply talking about sex--either directly or
indirectly--doesn't positively affect sexual attraction any more
than a car salesman telling you that you should buy a certain
car makes you want to actually BUY it any more than you did
before.
And that goes DOUBLE if the car salesman pushes the
issue too early and or too aggressively...coming off as if it's
all about him.
Everyone knows it's the CAR ITSELF that makes you want
to buy it. Once you WANT the car, nobody has to talk you
into it.
Sexual desire on a woman's part is NO DIFFERENT.
So when it comes to creating that DESIRE in women
effectively, you simply go about the business of coming off
as a masculine man rather than a neuter human being.
That is, you REPRESENT to women what WOMEN
WANT (and I gave you some solid examples above).
I promise that the sexual polarity that results will take
care of creating attraction all by itself.
The mistake men make here is to confuse SEX with
SEXUALITY.
And a woman's feminine sexuality MUST be drawn to
your masculine sexuality BEFORE any discussion of
"activities" that might come as a result of that can become
fair-game for discussion.
You must never, ever imply that sexual behavior is imminent
(either directly or by innuendo) until you know that she is
attracted (i.e. by your core masculine nature) and that she
knows you have her general best interest at heart (i.e. you
are genuinely interested in protecting her rather than using
her sexuality for personal gain).
In almost every single instance, it's putting the cart before
the horse that's offensive to women.
Basically, that causes you to come off like that desperate
car salesman who is all about making the sale whether she
really wants his slow-selling car or not.
So, even though women truly do want sheet-ripping sex as
much as we do as men (if not more so), they don't want to
be used as masturbation tools and nothing else.
This shouldn't be so much of a mystery to us because it's
actually not a gender-specific reaction at all. We as men
are really no different and the psycho-emotional level.
Think of it this way. Most men LOVE to be seen as an
effective provider for women, but only when we know she
appreciates EVERYTHING about us as men and is willing
to reciprocate fully with the wonderful benefits she brings
to us as a woman.
And what if we go out with a woman who clearly sees us
as nothing more than a human ATM machine? Well, we
resent that, of course...and only a man with horribly low
self-respect will continue to endure such a relationship.
So to summarize, being a masculine sexual presence
is anything BUT offensive or threatening to women.
On the other hand, indications that you may only be
interested in using women for sexual gratification ARE
both offensive AND threatening to them.
However, when we are "big four" men who also happen
to place a great value on high-quality femininity and deeply
understand the manifold gifts that a great woman brings
to the table, we have nothing to worry about.
Women who are "offended" under those circumstances
are the ones with the problem. And thankfully that's a
rare occurrence, especially when we're talking about
high-quality women.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. Did you download the new episode of The Mountain
Top Podcast yet?
The Mountain Top Podcast On iTunes
Please leave a review. Those really help our rankings, so
it's a great way to support the show if you like what you
hear.
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2020. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.