[X&Y] How To Give Her Compliments Without Looking Needy Or Desperate
Published: Fri, 11/13/20
=====
IN THIS EDITION: Doesn't giving a woman compliments make
a guy look needy and desperate? Not necessarily.
a guy look needy and desperate? Not necessarily.
=====
WAIT A MINUTE...IT WORKED ON ME ALSO
Let's be straightforward about this...
Plenty of you guys have been writing me and you're still on
the fence, asking gazillions of questions about Dr. Amend and
his weird new v2.0 concoction with oxytocin
Technically speaking, this version still has all the potency
of the original version, only with the added power of oxytocin
to make women feel "warm fuzzy" emotions for you.
And it's true that he really cooks up the stuff in his garage
laboratory.
But more importantly, YES...it flat-out, straight-up WORKS.
And it did so for me in a completely unexpected way.
As you already know, I got some of the "new stuff" from Dr.
Amend.
And as you also know, gave it a try but didn't tell Emily.
I told you how she was more affectionate toward me.
Nice.
But here's the thing...
Last night, out of the blue, I decided to stop her in the
kitchen and give her a spontaneous close embrace.
She giggled and said, "Aren't YOU the affectionate one
lately?"
I stopped and reflected for a second.
Holy wow. It's true. I have been both acting AND feeling
that way all week.
Dr. Amend's stuff worked on ME...and I'm the one wearing
it.
And frankly, I LOVE it.
https://www.scotrecommends.com/dramend-new
It makes sense, though, right? After all, oxytocin is what
it is. Even though there are both men's and women's
versions of Dr. Amend's new formula, they're both infused
with the same oxytocin.
So yes. I can tell you definitively. If YOU have been
a little cranky and cold lately toward the woman (or
women) in your life...
...and you can't place WHY, but it's frustrating and
you don't like it...
...and neither does SHE, for that matter...
...then THIS is like a "2-for-1". It will give a lift to
both you AND your girl:
https://www.scotrecommends.com/dramend-new
Last chance for this. It's on to something else next
time.
But man...what happened with this stuff is seriously cool,
and I wanted you to know about it.
By the way, do you just want women to find you
irresistible, but without the emotional stuff? Great...
you absolutely can still get the original version.
=====
OK, let's say that you've either just met a woman or are meeting
with her 1-on-1 for the first time (aka "going on a date with her").
Either way, for the purpose at hand let's assume that she has
already impressed your socks off.
In fact, you're thinking to yourself that if you ever have the good
fortune to see this woman naked you will have pretty much hit the
jackpot...literally and figuratively.
So now what?
More specifically, how do you conduct yourself? What should you
say to her?
You know that if you talk about weather and politics you'll come
off as "neuter" and thereby FAIL at creating attraction.
So you've GOT to show her in some way that you're interested in
being MORE than "just a friend".
The problem is that you may have been told somewhere along the
line any (or all) of the following:
1) Make sure you knock her off her pedestal a bit.
2) Act indifferent toward her...so she'll chase YOU instead of
vice-versa.
And, of course, perhaps the most infamous strategy (or is that
"stragedy"?) of all...
Now listen. I fully understand the thought process behind each of
those three tactics.
Sadly, most guys who are "newbies" when it comes to interacting
with women tend to come off like desperate, starving puppies when
confronted with a real, live opportunity to attract a hottie.
Such guys might start gushing about how beautiful the woman is to
Or what's arguably worse, they start bragging about anything and
everything possible in a feeble attempt to "impress" her.
So sure...each of the three strategies above are intended to put an
end to these basic destructive tendencies.
But at best, they're "stop gap" measures.
Since there's a lot of "grey area" in how best to create
attraction, there are potentially troublesome issues with each.
If and when any or all of them become habit, you'll soon find that
the proverbial pendulum has swung the opposite way...and that's
not good.
Regarding #1 for example, what if she ISN'T exactly so "full of
herself" and in fact doesn't have the world's most rock-solid
self-esteem?
She could take what you say seriously, no matter how playful you
are about saying it...and that would be counter-productive.
And yikes...MOST women aren't exactly paragons of self-esteem,
no matter how beautiful or generally sharp they are.
As for the second one, remember a woman is a human being just like
you. (Really...I promise.)
Knowing that, how do YOU usually read someone who acts utterly
disinterested in you? Thought so.
And the third one? Ask yourself if that's what you REALLY want out
of the interaction.
Are you the kind of man who honesty prefers to NEVER say
something positive to a woman that might actually LIFT her less-than-
perfect (read: normal and human) self-esteem?
Again, as a human being how excited would YOU be to hang out
with a woman who never, ever acknowledged you looked good, were
talented, or basically ever did anything right?
You and I both know that we as guys tend to show TONS of disdain
for women who are like that.
And it's equally safe to say that no woman is ever going to confuse
a guy who offers ZERO approval of her for anyone who has her best
interests at heart. You really can't instill a sense of safety
and security in her that way, can you?
So simply put, as you get better with women--as I trust you
will--you're going to want more effective ways to proceed.
Slapping a Band-Aid on the problem won't cut it.
Now, as you've observed guys who appear to be doing well with
women, I'm sure you've noticed something that might strike you as
somewhat odd.
They actually give women compliments. There's no denying it.
But here's the amazing part. Contrary to what all the "newbie" guides
you've read suggest, they actually get somewhere with women by
doing so.
In fact, some guys can give women all sorts of complimentary
indicators of "approval" and still charm her to no end.
But wait, isn't that sort of "nice" stuff supposed to fail
miserably?
Not so fast.
Mr. Nice Guy's problem is that he's on his best behavior because
he's either TRYING to "impress" her or he's worried about offending
her and LOSING her.
Meanwhile, those guys you've seen out there who know what they're
doing are speaking to a woman what they truly think about her for
completely different reasons.
Usually, one such reason is that they are confident that any woman
in her right mind should find them inherently attractive.
Therefore, there's no need to "impress" a woman. Compliments and
other clear demonstrations of interest are honest and sort of
matter-of-fact, actually.
But there's another reason why giving women compliments works FOR
these guys instead of AGAINST them.
Usually, guys who are effective with women give approval to them
when they've expressly EARNED it.
In other words, there's no "halo effect" when they interact with
ANY woman. There's no "pre-approval" of her as some sort of
goddess or something.
Guys who are good at this stuff wait until they hear about how she
donates her time to the homeless before telling her they're "proud
of her".
Similarly, they wait until she has done her hair up in a special
way just to go out on a date with him...and THEN they tell her how
beautiful her hair looks.
Can you detect the very clear difference between what's going on
there and the "Staving Chihuahua Syndrome"?
To spell it out, the difference between needy, desperate compliments
(or any needy, desperate attention, really) and the kind of attention
women LIKE is very clear-cut.
Needy, desperate guys give women approval based on fear of loss.
What they are actually seeking is her approval of them. They are
GIVING in order to GET.
This comes off as extraordinarily weak...not exactly becoming of a
masculine man who is both a provider and a protector.
Meanwhile, where there is NO fear of loss, compliments come off as
more heartfelt and genuine.
Because a man who is NOT desperate or needy is a chooser instead of
a chaser, the woman tends to actually feel privileged to hear a
compliment from him. It means something to her.
Once again, let's talk in "human" terms rather than "man vs.
woman".
What kind of approval means more to you? The kind that's thrown at
you out of desperation (which may even come off as manipulation, if
you think about it), or the kind that is genuinely EARNED from
someone who means it?
Thought so.
If a woman is beautiful and talented, she wants to hear it from
you...but only after she knows you have a truly informed frame of
reference.
And by the way, since women follow your lead, it's especially
crucial not to turn the "newbie" strategy of "never giving a woman
compliments" into a lifetime habit.
Can you see why? That would be one miserable life together indeed.
Let's be straightforward about this...
Plenty of you guys have been writing me and you're still on
the fence, asking gazillions of questions about Dr. Amend and
his weird new v2.0 concoction with oxytocin
Technically speaking, this version still has all the potency
of the original version, only with the added power of oxytocin
to make women feel "warm fuzzy" emotions for you.
And it's true that he really cooks up the stuff in his garage
laboratory.
But more importantly, YES...it flat-out, straight-up WORKS.
And it did so for me in a completely unexpected way.
As you already know, I got some of the "new stuff" from Dr.
Amend.
And as you also know, gave it a try but didn't tell Emily.
I told you how she was more affectionate toward me.
Nice.
But here's the thing...
Last night, out of the blue, I decided to stop her in the
kitchen and give her a spontaneous close embrace.
She giggled and said, "Aren't YOU the affectionate one
lately?"
I stopped and reflected for a second.
Holy wow. It's true. I have been both acting AND feeling
that way all week.
Dr. Amend's stuff worked on ME...and I'm the one wearing
it.
And frankly, I LOVE it.
https://www.scotrecommends.com/dramend-new
It makes sense, though, right? After all, oxytocin is what
it is. Even though there are both men's and women's
versions of Dr. Amend's new formula, they're both infused
with the same oxytocin.
So yes. I can tell you definitively. If YOU have been
a little cranky and cold lately toward the woman (or
women) in your life...
...and you can't place WHY, but it's frustrating and
you don't like it...
...and neither does SHE, for that matter...
...then THIS is like a "2-for-1". It will give a lift to
both you AND your girl:
https://www.scotrecommends.com/dramend-new
Last chance for this. It's on to something else next
time.
But man...what happened with this stuff is seriously cool,
and I wanted you to know about it.
By the way, do you just want women to find you
irresistible, but without the emotional stuff? Great...
you absolutely can still get the original version.
=====
HOW TO GIVE HER COMPLIMENTS WITHOUT LOOKING
NEEDY OR DESPERATE
NEEDY OR DESPERATE
OK, let's say that you've either just met a woman or are meeting
with her 1-on-1 for the first time (aka "going on a date with her").
Either way, for the purpose at hand let's assume that she has
already impressed your socks off.
In fact, you're thinking to yourself that if you ever have the good
fortune to see this woman naked you will have pretty much hit the
jackpot...literally and figuratively.
So now what?
More specifically, how do you conduct yourself? What should you
say to her?
You know that if you talk about weather and politics you'll come
off as "neuter" and thereby FAIL at creating attraction.
So you've GOT to show her in some way that you're interested in
being MORE than "just a friend".
The problem is that you may have been told somewhere along the
line any (or all) of the following:
1) Make sure you knock her off her pedestal a bit.
2) Act indifferent toward her...so she'll chase YOU instead of
vice-versa.
And, of course, perhaps the most infamous strategy (or is that
"stragedy"?) of all...
3) NEVER give a woman a compliment...ever.
Now listen. I fully understand the thought process behind each of
those three tactics.
Sadly, most guys who are "newbies" when it comes to interacting
with women tend to come off like desperate, starving puppies when
confronted with a real, live opportunity to attract a hottie.
Such guys might start gushing about how beautiful the woman is to
them, sort of like Enos always did to "Miss Daisy" in The Dukes Of
Hazzard.
Or what's arguably worse, they start bragging about anything and
everything possible in a feeble attempt to "impress" her.
So sure...each of the three strategies above are intended to put an
end to these basic destructive tendencies.
But at best, they're "stop gap" measures.
Since there's a lot of "grey area" in how best to create
attraction, there are potentially troublesome issues with each.
If and when any or all of them become habit, you'll soon find that
the proverbial pendulum has swung the opposite way...and that's
not good.
Regarding #1 for example, what if she ISN'T exactly so "full of
herself" and in fact doesn't have the world's most rock-solid
self-esteem?
She could take what you say seriously, no matter how playful you
are about saying it...and that would be counter-productive.
And yikes...MOST women aren't exactly paragons of self-esteem,
no matter how beautiful or generally sharp they are.
As for the second one, remember a woman is a human being just like
you. (Really...I promise.)
Knowing that, how do YOU usually read someone who acts utterly
disinterested in you? Thought so.
And the third one? Ask yourself if that's what you REALLY want out
of the interaction.
Are you the kind of man who honesty prefers to NEVER say
something positive to a woman that might actually LIFT her less-than-
perfect (read: normal and human) self-esteem?
Again, as a human being how excited would YOU be to hang out
with a woman who never, ever acknowledged you looked good, were
talented, or basically ever did anything right?
You and I both know that we as guys tend to show TONS of disdain
for women who are like that.
And it's equally safe to say that no woman is ever going to confuse
a guy who offers ZERO approval of her for anyone who has her best
interests at heart. You really can't instill a sense of safety
and security in her that way, can you?
So simply put, as you get better with women--as I trust you
will--you're going to want more effective ways to proceed.
Slapping a Band-Aid on the problem won't cut it.
Now, as you've observed guys who appear to be doing well with
women, I'm sure you've noticed something that might strike you as
somewhat odd.
They actually give women compliments. There's no denying it.
But here's the amazing part. Contrary to what all the "newbie" guides
you've read suggest, they actually get somewhere with women by
doing so.
In fact, some guys can give women all sorts of complimentary
indicators of "approval" and still charm her to no end.
But wait, isn't that sort of "nice" stuff supposed to fail
miserably?
Not so fast.
Mr. Nice Guy's problem is that he's on his best behavior because
he's either TRYING to "impress" her or he's worried about offending
her and LOSING her.
Meanwhile, those guys you've seen out there who know what they're
doing are speaking to a woman what they truly think about her for
completely different reasons.
Usually, one such reason is that they are confident that any woman
in her right mind should find them inherently attractive.
Therefore, there's no need to "impress" a woman. Compliments and
other clear demonstrations of interest are honest and sort of
matter-of-fact, actually.
But there's another reason why giving women compliments works FOR
these guys instead of AGAINST them.
Usually, guys who are effective with women give approval to them
when they've expressly EARNED it.
In other words, there's no "halo effect" when they interact with
ANY woman. There's no "pre-approval" of her as some sort of
goddess or something.
Guys who are good at this stuff wait until they hear about how she
donates her time to the homeless before telling her they're "proud
of her".
Similarly, they wait until she has done her hair up in a special
way just to go out on a date with him...and THEN they tell her how
beautiful her hair looks.
Can you detect the very clear difference between what's going on
there and the "Staving Chihuahua Syndrome"?
To spell it out, the difference between needy, desperate compliments
(or any needy, desperate attention, really) and the kind of attention
women LIKE is very clear-cut.
Needy, desperate guys give women approval based on fear of loss.
What they are actually seeking is her approval of them. They are
GIVING in order to GET.
This comes off as extraordinarily weak...not exactly becoming of a
masculine man who is both a provider and a protector.
Meanwhile, where there is NO fear of loss, compliments come off as
more heartfelt and genuine.
Because a man who is NOT desperate or needy is a chooser instead of
a chaser, the woman tends to actually feel privileged to hear a
compliment from him. It means something to her.
Once again, let's talk in "human" terms rather than "man vs.
woman".
What kind of approval means more to you? The kind that's thrown at
you out of desperation (which may even come off as manipulation, if
you think about it), or the kind that is genuinely EARNED from
someone who means it?
Thought so.
If a woman is beautiful and talented, she wants to hear it from
you...but only after she knows you have a truly informed frame of
reference.
And by the way, since women follow your lead, it's especially
crucial not to turn the "newbie" strategy of "never giving a woman
compliments" into a lifetime habit.
Can you see why? That would be one miserable life together indeed.
=====
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(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2020. All Rights Reserved.
This newsletter is changing the lives of 61,000 other men like
you all over the world. Please forward it to a friend who could
benefit from it too.
Help build this worldwide movement of men reclaiming their
masculinity, standing as a positive role model and deserving the
high quality women we want.
Be The Bold, Confident Man Women Want
Join The Facebook Group For Real Men Of Character
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