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"I LET GO OF GUILT"


I got this report from Joe in New Mexico:


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Hi Scot:

I let go of guilt. Didn't even realize I was carrying it around. 

A very long time ago I thought I was in a 'friends with benefits' thing,
but she fell for me and I didn't realize it. All of a sudden, she asked
me to marry her. I said no, told her we were just friends now, no more
sex. She completely broke down and got suicidal. Since then, I've
been terrified of hurting anyone, so I've been riding the brakes way
too much. 

Sometimes we make mistakes. Sometimes someone gets hurt. It's
part of life, and when it happens, we have another opportunity to grow.
All we can do is give it our best. Be straight up. Be responsible. Try to
err on the side of compassion. But we can't protect people from living. 

Expecting too much of ourselves can be just as bad as expecting too
little. 

So I FINALLY realized the importance of living in balance. 


-Joe M. (New Mexico

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What I love about Joe's story is he really got honest with
himself, and the result was a solid breakthrough.

Truth be told, I've seen far too many instances of men
trying to shoulder the blame for how women act toward
them...be that before, during or after a relationship--or
even when there was no relationship at all.

And I totally get it.  After all, I tell you guys all the time that
women follow our lead.  That gives us a tremendous
responsibility as men to do right by the women in our lives.

Be that as it may, women ARE still agents of free will, of
course.

Even when you have their best interests at heart,
sometimes things won't go as either of you had hoped.

Sometimes when a relationship needs to end we have to
be man enough to break it off, even if the woman hasn't
arrived at the same conclusion just yet.

That means you have to stand up to her disagreement,
or even a potential histrionic response.

In Joe's case, he mentioned she got suicidal.  In those
particularly troubling cases, you make the bold move
to assist in getting her the help she needs.  For sure.

But that almost invariably DOESN'T mean you should
get back together with her.

Relationships are complicated, and my hat's off to Joe
for facing it like a man and exercising what was within
his circle of influence to do the right thing.

In his case that meant checking his conscience, and THEN
taking the extra step not to beat himself up over what
had to be done--even if it wasn't pleasant.

I've talked to Joe before over the years, and I know he
isn't one to toy with women's emotions.  That's how I
can safely consider what he wrote at face value without
the need for a lot of elaboration.

Indeed, it's not always easy to get the woman you really
want into your world and have a relationship that lasts.

Life happens.  That's why my offer a few days ago still
stands.  If 2021 is your year to get this part of your life
handled, then the Ten-Plus program might be right for
you:



Ten-Plus 1-On-1 Coaching Details



Get all the details by clicking the link above.

You can also get in touch with me at:



scot@deservewhatyouwant.com



...or reserve a discovery call with me personally.