[X&Y] Part 3: Things Guys Overlook When Choosing The Right Woman

Published: Mon, 01/25/21


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WHAT'S INSIDE:  This is the third and final installment of a three-
part series on what most guys overlook when choosing a woman for a
long-term relationship.  Here are the 9th-12th items on the list, more
than one of which just might surprise you.

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12 THINGS GUYS OVERLOOK WHEN SELECTING THE RIGHT
WOMAN (PART THREE)


So is this topic really so important that I should be spending three
whole newsletters on it?

My simple response is this:  No matter how incredibly hot the woman
in your life is, you can't spend 24/7 having sex with her to the
exclusion of all else. 

Truth is you won't even want to.  A real relationship has to go much
deeper than that.

Just ask any married couple on day three or later of their honeymoon.
Sooner than later it's going to be time to go snorkeling.

Know what I mean?  Abso-freakin-lutely, you do.

This can only mean that if you want to have the right woman in your
life, you're going to have to cover all the necessary bases.

After all, while nobody can be held directly responsible for
"making you happy" (that's YOUR decision), the wrong woman sure
can make you miserable...with or without your consent.  Don't kid
yourself.

By the way, several of you have been asking about certain "biggees"
that appear to be conspicuous by their absence from this series
(e.g. "doesn't hate men", "isn't crazy" and "likes sex").  

They're not included here because "biggees" don't typically get
overlooked by most guys.  This series is meant to bring up what
guys DO tend to overlook--if not flat-out ignore--when getting into
long-term relationships with women.
 
So let's wrap this up.  Here are items nine through twelve...


 
9)  NEATNESS AND CLEANLINESS


Listen, I'm not at all advocating that a woman should do all of the
cleaning in a household even as you stay busy messing everything
up.  This isn't Neanderthal 101 we're teaching here.

All I'm saying is that if you end up with some sort of Felix Unger
/ Oscar Madison gig going on both of you are going to get uptight,
and it won't be comedy.

That simple fact holds true regardless of which one of you is which. 

But I will say this.  If either one of you is a total slob that's where
the other is going to pay big time. 

Ideally, neither of you should be particularly obsessed to either
extreme.  A healthy balance is key.
  
But the bottom line is that it's downright foolish to ignore this
issue if and when it does come up, especially due to some weird
21st century guilt over women and housecleaning.


 
10)  SMALL BAD HABITS


She's incredibly hot.  She's nice to you.  She's smart.  She even
smells nice.

But she's going to make you climb the walls if she keeps doing that
thing she does...whatever it is.

Here's the raw truth:  Just because a woman meets your needs in all
the major categories doesn't mean she can't "nickel and dime" you
to death with picayune annoyances.

Most of us as human beings find ourselves very willing to shrug off
the little things that bother us about someone we're dating because
that just seems to feel like the right way to proceed. 

After all, we might view ourselves as being "too picky" and/or even
a bit unreasonable if we let it get to us.

Unfortunately, however, those "little things" tend to start looming
a lot larger the more they wear on us.

So YOU make the call. 

Can what's bothering you potentially be negotiated out of the
picture simply by manning up and telling her it bothers you? 

Or...is it something that's part of who she is at her core and
there's really no changing it?
 
For better or worse, proceed accordingly lest you ever vow "for
better or worse" and end up SERIOUSLY frustrated.


 
11)  RELIABILITY / CONSISTENCY


Are you pretty confident that she'll show up on time?

And when she does show up, are you equally confident that you know
who exactly is going to show up?

And here's an even better question.  Is the woman who shows up for
you the same woman who shows up for everyone else, or is it all an
act designed to impress you with?

Suffice it to say that none of these questions are ever even on the
table when you've got a truly high-quality woman in your life.

Seriously...I don't care how amazing she is, the kind of woman you
should deserve has a congruent personality that shows respect for
everyone with inalienable human rights in this world.

That all usually starts with self-respect, of course.  From there
you'll find out how she treats you as you're starting to get to know
each other better.

But still, it can't be all about you and her. 

How she interacts with waiters, customer service agents, co-workers
and especially any kids she knows (or has) should be closely
observed. 

In doing so, you'll learn an amazing amount about how you can
expect to be treated once she's more accustomed to having you
around.


 
12)  HEALTH


What we're talking about here actually goes way, way beyond her
physical health. 

No doubt, if you are an active, healthy person you'll find that the
amount of joy in your life will go way down if she's sick and/or
tired all the time.

Worse, your health may start to suffer as well.

But consider this, also.

The fact that she can eat like a Hoover vacuum cleaner and never
gain an ounce of weight may excite you at first. 

But wait a minute, though.  Does the same hold true for you too?

If not, plan on dealing with the very real possibility that you
could gain a decent amount of weight as collateral damage once
you are living under the same roof and eating meals together.

Believe me, man...she's not going to stop bringing home whole
cheesecakes and gallons of ice cream from the grocery store just
because you're starting to pack it on.

You can even expect to find leftover Value Meal #1s from Burger
King stuffed in your fridge unexpectedly...with like one bite taken
out of the burger.

Guess who'll probably end up firing up the microwave and munching
the heck out of it, if out of pure convenience?  Need I say more?

At this point someone is probably saying, "Hey Scot, aren't you
sort of projecting your own life experience on all of us about
now?"

Your darn skippy, I am.

And while I'm on a roll in that regard, make sure she's mentally
healthy also. 

Don't even get me started on that one.  Suffice it to say you can't
reason with someone who is unreasonable, so don't paint yourself in
that corner to begin with.



So there you have it.  We've covered a full dozen important but
frequently overlooked considerations when choosing the right woman
for a long-term relationship.

Might you be able to add even more potential bullet points to your
own checklist? 
 
Well, probably. 

But if that's indeed the case, I'd say we've accomplished the goal
at hand.  After all, the entire point of this series has been to
get you thinking in ways you may never have before.


 



 
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